forever twenty-one ;

thE sMiLe tT iS g0ne f0revEr...

Thursday, March 31, 2005, 10:23 PM

cOmmUnicAtiOn brEakdOwn~ hOw i wiSh it dOn't exiSt betwEen uS...y cAn't wE tOk LikE hOw wE usEd tO? y iS it tT wEn bOth oF us arE aLonE iN rEALity...wE cAn't sEem tO tOk? y iS thE sitUatiOn aLwAys sO awKwArd? hAs thiNgs chAngEd fOrEvEr? iF oNLy tiNgs cAn gEt bAck tO hOw it wAs Last timE...i dUn tiNk i wiL feEL sO isOLatEd aNymOrE~ i fEeL sO aLonE sOmEtimEs...LikE i'm LiviNg in my owN wOrLd~ nOonE sEems tO nOe y i bEhAvE LikE diS....y i sUddEnLy kEep my mY mOuth shUt~ evEn yOu dUn sEem tO rELi nOe hOw i fEeL & y i bEhave LikE diS...aNd...i fEeL tT u dUn sEem to cArE abOut it anymOre...*iM LiviNg in my owN wOrLd agAin*

i hAtE thE sOund oF LaughtEr nOwadAys...i fEel sO sAd wEnEvEr i hEar sOmEonE LuFf frOm thE bOttOm oF thiEr hEart~ iN the pAst, i cAn LuFf likE tT tOo...y cAn't i dO sO nOw? iS it bcOz i chOosE nOt tO aNymOrE? i hAd diS sOuR fEELiNg in my hEaRt tOdAy tT mAdE mE fEeL LikE cRying...nObOdy wiL cAre aBt it aNywAy...sO y cRy? it oNLy mAkEs it sEems as iF u R tRying tO shOw othErs hOw sAd u R~ nO pOint in dOing sO aNymOrE...sO jUz hidE tT fEELiNg cOz iF u dUn...othERs mighT tiNk tT u R tRying tO gain pitY~ sO...jUz gO tO sCh & wEaR a fAkE smiLe evErydAy...wEar it & dun rEvEaL a siNgLe hiNt oF uNhAppinEss~ evEn thOugh...dEep insidE uR hEart u R bleEding...

im nOt aNti-sOciaL...i jUz fOrgOt hOw tO aPprOach pPL~ im dUn hAf aNy attitudE prObLEms...jUz tT i fOrgOt hOw tO smiLe frOm the bOttOm oF mY hEart~ LivE my LifE tO thE fULLeSt? im nOt dOing sO...iF nOt, i wOuLdn't hAf scOrEd sO bAdLy in mY tEsts...iF oNLy i can gO bAck tO thE timE in thE pAst...the timE whErE i cAn sMiLe, LuFf & tOk fRom thE bOttOm oF mY hEart...thE timE whErE wE cAn tOk aBt aNythiNg undEr thE sUn...dEn cAn i b trULy hApPy~ bUt tO mE...it sEems tO b dRiftiNg fUrthUr aWay...

i wAntEd tO pOst a sOng cALLed "brEakaWay" bY kELLy cLarksOn iN my bLoG...bUt i cAnt sEem tO aLigN in prOpErLy wiTh thE whOLe LayoUt...sUch a piTy~ it's sUch a nicE sOng...a sOng tT cAn pOtRay wAd i rELi hOpE tO bE...wAd i rELi fEeL....bUt Wads thE usE? nOonE undErstands it aNywAy....

[[brEakawAy - kELLy cLaRksOn]]

Grew up in a small town,
And when the rain would fall down,
I'd just stare out my window.
Dreaming of what could be,
And if I'd end up happy,
I would pray.

Trying hard to reach out,
But when I tried to speak out,
Felt like no-one could hear me.
Wanted to belong here,
But something felt so wrong here.
So I'd pray,
I could break away.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,Make a change, and break away.

Wanna feel the warm breeze,
Sleep under a palm tree,
Feel the rush of the ocean,
Get onboard a fast train,
Travel on a jetplane, Faraway, and break away.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,Make a change, and break away.

Buildings with a 100 floors,
Swinging around revolving doors,
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me.
But I gotta keep moving on moving on,
Fly away, break away.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
Though its not easy to tell you goodbye.
Gotta take a risk, take a chance,Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget the place I come from.
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,Make a change, and break away.
Break away, break away.