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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
i shALL nEvEr siNg agAin...
Thursday, June 30, 2005, 11:26 PM
I LOST! IM NOT TALENTED! I SHALL NEVER SINGGGGG AGAIN!!! lOokiNg at diS wOuld oNLy mEan a tiNg...i lOst~ yA...i diNt wiN~ itS rELi sAddEniNg...*hAiz* mAyb i shOuld nEvEr siNg agAin? mAyb i owAys tOt tT i cAn siNg...bUt iN actUal fAct...I CAN'T? mAyb aLL dis wHiLe...i lOvEd siNgiNg aNd trEat it aS aN iMpOrtAnt pArt oF mY LifE...bUt LOVE SINGING AND BEING ABLE TO SING IS TWO DIFFERENT MATTERS! pPL sAys tt u shOuld lEarn frOm uR miStakEs aNd adOpt a nevEr givE uP attitUdE...bUt i haf givEn uP ok? i hAf givEn uP...

rMb hOw alOne i fElt last nitE? untiL tOdAy...i stiLL feLt alOne~ it wAs onLy uNtiL dAphnE gAf mE tT cD wiF a 'jiA yOu! bYy!' aNd cLairE wHo tOld mE 'jiA yOu!' dEn diD i fELt a littLe bEttEr~ FARKING LIMAN diNt cOmE tOdAy sO i hAd tO siNg fOr 2 sEssiOns~ thE fiRst sEssiON wAs fOr thE 4 eXprEss aNd cAn u bElivE it? thE VIPs -.-...aNd thE wOrst tiNg wAs tt i hAd tO siNg fiRst~ aNd i fOrgEt thE lYriCs dUring siNgiNg...i wAs stAndiNg dEre likE aN idiOt~ qUite a nO. oF dEm cLap aNd i fELt a littLe eNcOurAgEd...bUt stiLL bEri jiA lAt~ thE first sEssiOn wAs jUz a triAL sEssiOn fOr mE...

dEn cAmE the sEcond onE! MY FLOWERS CAME! it bOostEd mY cOnfidEncE alOt...bUt i wAs stiLL shAkiNg...dEn xiAng jiE aNd tEck jiN wAs sitting tOgEthEr sOmEmorE lOr~ dEn its likE...i dunnO hOw tO rEact~ *hAiz* aManda dEn cAllEd mY nAmE...dEn shE smiLeD~ oK...i fELt bEttEr...dEn wEn i wEnt uP...eiLeEn sAy 'cyNdi! cyNdi!' oK...i fELt bEttEr...dEn wEn tHy chEerEd...i fELt evEn bEttEr~ bUt i stiLL sAng thE wrOng lyrics aNd tHy sAy i sAng tOo sOftLy aNd tt the pitCh wAs tOo hiGh~ dEn dEwEi aNd dArrAn pErfOrmEd a pOle dAncE~ dArran wAs thE pOle~ lOlx...tt wAs reLi funNy~ aNd tHy wOn...hAhAz~ oK...frankLy spEaking, i fEEL diSappOintEd bUt i wAs hAPpy fOr dEm cOz tHy r frOm 5F~ hAhAz...=) dEn tHy wErE in the fiNals at thE eNd oF thE dAy aNd we suPportEd dEm~ mY vOicE almOst crAck bcOz oF intEnsivE scrEamiNg~ rAhmat aNd hOw kiAt wAs iN it at the eNd of the day tOo...

aFt tT...thE flOwErs wEnt cOmpAss pOint tO hAf lUnch~ wE atE kFc aNd siQi wAs v haPpy...hAhAx! i fElt aBit grOggy aNd diZzy oN the wAy dErE aNd i fELt likE pUking sOmetimEs evEn thOugh i atE my mEdicinE~ i onLy fElt bettEr aFt i atE sOmEthiNg...wE shOppEd arOund dEn aFt tHy aLL Left...i accOmpAniEd kAirOng tO thE pOst oFficE aNd dEn i wEnt hOmE tO sLp~ i wAs reLi tirEd cOz i sLpt at 4aM lAst nitE aS i chAttEd wiF aLviN oNLinE...hE's bAck iN siNgapOrE Le aNd i guess i'll b mEetiNg hiM uP b4 hE fLiEs bAck tO aMEriCa iN aUgUst~ i abit bU haO yi sHi...cOz i sAy i wiLL mEet uP wiF hiM dE...bUt fOr almOst 2 yRs...i nv kEpt my prOmisE...hEex~ i diNt mEEt hiM uP...hAhAz~

sO tirEd...shOuld i gO sCh tML? shOuld i stArt oN my wOrk?

[[ r u sAyiNg mE agAin...*siGhs siGhs siGhs* WHY? TELL MY WHY... ]]

feeLiNg al0ne...
Wednesday, June 29, 2005, 11:26 PM
WOW -.-...tML wOuld b thE I & E cArnivAL aNd wAd wOuld diS mEan? it wOuld oNLy mEans tt thE 30 sEcs oF fAmE is hErE~ oMg! shOuld i b hAPpy oR wAd? i cAn oNLy fEeL miXturEs oF emOtiOns nOw...FEAR, HAPPINESS, EXCITEMENT, DREAD...wAdevEr lA~ i oNLy nOe tT iM v v v v v scArEd nOw~ sO wAd iF i diD it lAst yR aNd evEn pEfOrmEd in frOnt oF thE whOle sCh? sO wAd iF its nOt a lOng sOng bUt jUz a mErE 30 sEcs? i fEeL scArEd oK! dAmn scArEd...aNd i fEel dAmn lOnELy nOw~ i fEeL dAmn alOnE...

fOr gOodnEss sAkE! tML iS the dAy aNd i oNLy mAnAgEd tO sELeCt thE sOng i wAn jUz nOw...wiF thE hELp oF aMandA & dAphnE~ yA...thAnks gErs! i dUnnO wHethEr cAn i siNg tt sOng...i jUz dUn wAnnA wAste tOo mUch enErgy tO tiNk liaO...it oNLy mAkes mE mOrE scArEd~ aNd nOw...mY cOusiN cAn't eDit thE sOng aNd mAkE it iNtO w/O thE siNgEr's vOicE dE~ iF tTs thE cAsE...wAd mUz i dO? diS iS rELi dRiviNg mE mAd! i nEed cOmfOrt pLz...=/

wEnt oUt wiF mY flOwErs agAin tOdAy~ wE wEnt biShAn dE J8 tO eAt kFc...cOz siQi wAns tO eAt tT~ lOlx...shE ar~ 'KFC QUEEN'...hAhAz~ it wAs reLi hArd tO fiNd a pLacE...bUt wE mAnAgEd tO find onE~ lOlx...dEn whiLe wAitiNg...2 gErs aCCidEntAlly tOppLed a cUp oF cOkE oNtO thE floOr aNd it spLaShEd ontO oUr lEgs~ aNd u nOe wAds thE mOst aMaziNg tiNg? tHy diNt sAy sOrry! NO MANNERS!!! aFt tT, we fOolEd arOund aS uSuaL aNd wEnt shOppiNg...i wAs abit impAtiEnt thOugh cOz i wAntEd tO gO hOmE tO fiNd sOmE sOngs mA...scArEd nOt eNuFf timE~ kAisU hOr? hAhAz...

i fEeL sO alOnE nOw...nO cOmfOrt...nO reaSsurAncE...nOthiNg! somEhOw...i hOpE tML nEvEr cOmEs...=(

[[ tML wOuld b the dAy tO dEtErminE whEthEr aM i rELi talEntEd... ]]

stUdy strEss c0ming rEally s0on...=/
Tuesday, June 28, 2005, 11:57 PM
lAst miN eNtRy agAin...hAhAz~ wAs dOing my pOa jUz nOw~ fOr 2 hRs...i oNly mAnAgEd tO cOmpLetE a LittLe...*siGhs* iM dEtErmiNEd tO pUt in effOrt in mY sTudiEs nOw...bUt iM owAys sO slOw in cOmpLEtiNg mY wOrk...hOw cAn i evEr excEL? hAiz...fEeL sO hEaty nOw~ aRgHz! it sUcks...

i wAsn't lAte fOr sCh tOdAy...=D dUring chEm tOdAy...i fELt rELi tirEd aNd sLEepy~ mY eyEliDs wAs rELi drOopy~ it sEems likE i cAn fAll aslEep riGht oN thE spOt! prObAbLy bcOz oF mS pEng's BORING CHEM LESSON! bUt i diD concEntrAtE aNd lEarn sOmE nEw tiNgs tOdAy~ i wAnnA lEarn fOr the bEnEfit oF mysELf~ not fOr othErs! hAhAz...thE flOwErs wEnt aNd hAd lUnch aFt sCh at a hAwkEr cEntrE...i atE hOkkiEn mEe~ bUt stiLL...not mUch appEtitE~ -.-'' mAyb bcOz i fOrgot tO bRiNg mY mEdicinE tO sCh tOdAy...tTs y...i fELt likE vOmitiNg agAin~ dEn...i cOntrOllEd~ aNd thE fOod diNt cOme oUt~ hAhAz...

hErE cOmEs mY 'THINK TOO MUCH' pErsOnALity...

hMm...

r U tRyiNg tO hidE sOmEthiNg?

sOmEtimEs...

uR actiOns rELi sEems tO b bAffLe aNd cOnfUsE mE...

i jUz cAn't hELp wOndEring wHethEr is dErE sOmEthiNg wrOng...

bUt at lEaSt fOr nOw...evErythiNg's oKay~

[[ iM a fOrgiviNg pErsOn...i fOrgivE aNd fOrgEt abOut hOw u bAckstAbbEd mE~ bUt...im stiLL oN the lOok oUt! ]]

h0pEs tt it wUn gEt anym0re sEri0us...=/
Monday, June 27, 2005, 10:24 PM
fiNAlly aFt a lOng brEak...sCh rEopEns tOdAy! hMm...i wUn sAy tT i hAte sCh aNd i dUn wiSh it tO rEopEn...cOz iF i cAn gEt tO mEet mY tEn flOwErs aNd hAf fUn...dEn y nOt? bUt thE prOb iS...oNcE sCh rEopEns, wE wiLL b fAcEd wiF mOre chAllEngEs...chAllEngEs cAllEd thE 'O' lEvEls~ *siGhs*

tOdAy iS thE fiRst dAy oF sCh aNd i wAs lAtE~ dEre wAs a sPotcheck fOr thE whOle sChOol tOo~ i wAsN't cAught thOugh! i shOuld b caught aCtUally...lOlx~ bUt i wAsn't cAught! hAhAz...the timEtAble hAs aLr bEen chAngEd aNd i kiNdA dEtEst thE nEw arrAngmEnt~ lEssOns wErE as pEr nOrmAL...bUt sOmEhOw, thE atmOsphErE in sCh jUz sEemEd kiNdA diFf~ it sEems tO b mOre tEnsE dEn uSual aNd sOmEhOw stRictEr...

aFt sCh tOdAy...wE wEnt aNd hAd lUnch at thE hAwkEr cEntrE bEhiNd cAmpUs 2~ at fiRst, i vOmitEd oUt sOmE sOury syrUp cOz i diNt hAf aNy tiNg in thE mOrniNg aNd dUriNg rEcEss~ aFt eAtiNg sOmE sOlid fOod, oUt cAmE thE fOod! i vOmitEd agAin...i diNt wAn it tO cOmE oUt dE...nEithEr diD i fOrcE it oUt~ sOmEhOw, it jUz fEeLs likE cOmiNg oUt~ aNd i diNt hAf mUch appEtitE tOo~ mY frEns pULLEd mE tO c a dOctOr aFt tT...thE dOc sAys tT shE givEs mE a onE wEek triAL~ i shAll takE thE mEdicAtiOn shE gAf aNd iF aFt onE week it stiLL dOesn't gEt aNy bEttEr...i'll bE sEnt to thE hOspitAl fOr a chEck-uP! *oMg* i wAstEd mOnEy at thE dOcs agAin...i nOe sUch mOnEy shOuld nOt bE mEant tO bE sAvE...bUt...i jUz felt tt itS a wAstE! =/

cLairE wEnt aNd gOt a hAircUt aFt tT...tONy aNd hiS gAng oF frEns wAs oSo dErE~ iRritAtiNg aS uSuAl...lOlx~ sOmE EXTRA PEOPLE who shOuldn't bE dErE...wAs oSo dErE~ *yUcks* aFt tT...wE wAlkEd siQi tO hEr bUsstOp aNd wE walkEd bAck tO ouRs oN oUr owN~ dEn i jOkEd aNd sAid tt i'll acCOmpAny cLairE hOmE...aNd shE rEli bElievEd! sO i eNdEd uP wiF cLairE aFt shU xUan, dAphnE & aMandA lEft~ oN thE wAy tO the bUsstOp...i rEalisEd tT mY IC's miSsiNg!!! lUckiLy, wE mAdE a cAll bAck tO the cLiNic aNd fOund oUt tt it wAs dErE...bOth oF us den went bAck aNd gEt it~ aFt tT...wE wEnt tO cOmpAss pOint tO plUck oUr eyEbrOws aNd tO tOp uP oUr eZ-liNks~ iM qUitE sAtiSfiEd wiF the rEsUlts oF mY eyEbrOws bUt cLairE wAsn't rELi sAtisfied wiF hErs...wE wEnt hOmE aFt tT...

tT mEdicinE cAn rELi mAke a pErsOn drOwsy...nOw im rEli tirEd aNd sLeEpy~ bUt i gOtta cOntiNue wiF mY wOrk...*siAnz*

[[ i jUz cAn't fiGurE it oUt...im sO cOnfUsEd bY thE actiOns~ ]]

thE s0ng tT i kEpt liStEniNg t0...
Saturday, June 25, 2005, 4:46 PM
wAy tO lOvE - kArAsAwA mihO

Saigou ni kawashita
imi no nai joke o
omoidashi warau hitori no kaeri michi
yawarakana kimochi afurete
machi no noise ga kokochi yoku hibiite

waga mama demo katte demo ne
ima kimi ni aitai yo
ashita ga mattenai nante okashii ne
akekata no sora nagamete
tashikameteiru kitto
watashi koi ni ochiteku tochuu

nanigenaku warai nanigenaku damatte
futari no jikan ga nanigenaku sugiteku
fushigi nari zumu ni tsutsumare
itsumo to chigau hajimete no shunkan

I just wanna keep on loving you
itsumo bukiyou na kono omoi
hitori no shiawase wa mou kanashii kara
atatakaku yasashii kimochi sotto taisetsu ni shitai
saigou no koi ni ochiteku toki

I just wanna keep on loving you
itsumo tsutaekirenai omoi
kotoba ga mune no oku de furueteiru
dakishimete Kiss shite tsuyoku
motto kanjiteitai
saigou no koi ni ochiteku yoru...

[[ a frEn oF miNe spEnt 1 whOle wK tO fiNd diS sOng fOr mE...i lOve it alOt~ ]]

i mAdE amEndmEnts...
Friday, June 24, 2005, 2:19 AM
at diS pOint in timE...

i feEL tErribLe...

i cRiEd fOr onE hR...

withOut stOppiNg...

withOut aNy mUsic oR wAdsOevEr...

i cRiEd...

wHy?

i lOokEd thRgh aLL thE cOnvErsAtiOns i hAd wiF a frEn...

aNd i cRiEd...

iN thE pAst...

wE tOkEd alOt...

dEn sOon...

iN oUr lAtEr cOnvErsAtiOns...

wE sPokE lEssEr...

aNd i sEem tO b thE onE whO kEeps tOkiNg...

bUt onE tiNg nEvEr chAngEs...

shE hAs owAys bEen dErE...

wHethEr i nEedEd hELp oR bE it advicEs...

shE hAs owAys bEen dErE...

i owAys tOt tT xiAng jiE wAs thE oNLy pErsOn in diS wOrld Tt mAde mE cRy mY hEart oUt...

bUt i wAs wrOng...

i cAn cRy mY hEart oUt fOr a frEn tOo...

i bLamE mysELf fOr dOing aLL diS tiNgs...

tT cAusEd aLL diS prOblEms nOw...

sO i mAdE amEndmEnts...

bY hUrtiNg mYsElf...

u fiNd it stUpid? u fiNd it wiErd? u fiNd it diSgUstiNg?

i dUn...

cOz tTs thE oNLy wAy tT made mE fEeL bEttEr...

mixtUrEs 0f em0ti0ns tT i fElt t0day...
Thursday, June 23, 2005, 11:22 PM
it wAs aN eNjOyAbLe dAy fOr mE tOdAy~ it rELi wAs...bUt at thE sAmE timE, i fELt miXturEs oF emOtiOns evOlviNg iNsidE mE~ fUn, hAPpy, dEprEssEd, lonELy, fEar, aNgEr, jEalOuSy, tOuchEd, rELievE...i fElt aLL diS tOdAy~ pOwEr oR wAd? =/ ( todAy's eNtRy wiLL b a lOng onE...pLz gEt rEady~ )

wOkEd uP at abOut 9aM tOdAy...fEeLiNg aLL siCk aNd tirEd~ mY nOse's stUckEd aNd i fELt rELi uNcOmfOrtAbLe~ thE oNLy tOt tT kEpt mE gOing wAs thE tRip tO sEntOsa wiF mY frEns tOdAy~ aCtuAlly, i fELt dEprEssEd wEn i wOkEd uP aNd i hAd tO tRy mY bEst tO BE MYSELF fOr thE whOle dAy...it wAs rELi tiRiNg~ thE oNLy tOt tHAt mAdE mY dAy bEttEr wAs thE chAt i hAd wiF tEckjiN lAst nitE~ iF nOt...i tiNk i wOuld hAf bEen rELi dEprEssEd~ mEt uP wiF cLairE, siQi, eiLEen, kAirOng & shU xUan at dObHy ghAut mRt~ almOst aLL oF us t lAtE...-.-'' aFt tT...wE atE lUnch aNd wEnt tO hAbOurfrOnt cEntrE tO bUy sOmE mOre snAcks aNd dRiNks~ cLairE bOught a bEach vOllEybALL fOr uS tO pLay tOo! dEn...wE hEadEd intO sentOsa dE silOso bEaCh! wE diD alOt oF tiNgs dErE~ wE pLayEd bEach vOllEybAll aNd oSo tOok a diP in thE rEfrEshiNg sEa wAtEr~ we pLayEd volleybAll iN thE sEa tOo~ hAhAz...wE sUntAnnEd, atE sNacks, pLayEd pOkEr, listEn tO sOngs~ alOt la...lOlx~ wE eNjOyEd oUrsElevEs tOo~ aLL oF uS hAd a dArkEr tAn bY thE eNd oF thE dAy tOo~

dEn...wE mEt uP wiF aMaNda, sHipiNg, dAp & jOcELyN who cAnt mAke it tO the sEntOsa tRip~ wE hAd a stEambOat dinnEr in aMk~ cOnsistiNg oF ALL thE 10 flOwErs~ it wAs quitE fun bUt jUz tt thE fOod dErE wAs rELi liMitEd...bUt aS lOng aS thE 10 flOwErs gOt tOgEthEr...tTs eNuFf~ hAhAz! i fElt prEtty oK at fiRst...thOugh i diD pUt uP wiF a littLe stRuggLe withiN mE to b nOrmAL~ it wAs rELi diFficUlt...rELi rELi diFficUlt~ uNtiL i cOuldn't tAke it aNymOre...i sHut uP once mOre~ i triEd...at lEast i triEd...=(

the mOst diFficUlt pArt wAs nOt tT...it wAs the lOneLy jOurnEy hOmE~ i fElt sO dEprEssEd...sO lOnELy aNd fElt tT nO onE wAs wiF mE aNymOre~ listEniNg tO thOse sOngs mAdE mE fElt evEn mOre uPsEt...lUckiLy i sAw my siStEr on thE bUs~ iF nOt...i wOuld hAf criEd...cOz i cOuldn't takE it aNymOrE...

i fElt rElievEd aNd tOuchEd wEn i cOuld fiNally spEak~ sAy oUt wAd i fElt aNd wAd i tOt...thE prObLEms tT wAs bUggiNg mE fOr wEeks~ thE pAin tt i hAf eNdUrEd wAs takEn awAy jUz bY sOme wOrds...it wAs thOsE wOrds tT mAde mE fELt bEttEr...alOt alOt alOt bEttEr... aFt tT... i criEd aNd cRiEd aNd cRiEd~ sOmE oF thE stOnEs tT wAs wEighiNg hEaviLy in mY hEart wAs fiNally cLeArEd...bUt sOmE oF it arE stiLL bEiNg LEft bEhiNd aNd sOmEhOw it stiLL hUrts...

[[ wOrds cAn reLi hEaL a pErsOn's hEart... ]]

i fEeL aNgRy aNd hUrt...
Wednesday, June 22, 2005, 7:10 PM
iM thiNkiNg oF lockiNg uP mY blOg...

pUt a pAsswOrd oN it oR sMtHg...

iM nOt gOing tO giF aNyonE aNy accEss tO it...

i dUn evEn wAn tO lEt aNyonE nOes hOw i fEeL oR thiNk...

cOz...

sOmEthiNgs r bEst tO b kEpt hiddEn...

oNLy dEn cAn i writE oUt wAd i rELi fEeL...

mY hAtrEd, mY lOve, mY sAdnEss aNd mY hAppinEss...

jUz kEep it frOm evEryonE...

aNd hidE it iN the mOst bOttOmlEss pit oF mY hEart...

[[ wHy diD u sAy tT! iM aNgRy aNd sAd at wAd u hAf sAid aNd dOnE... ]]

eMptinEss c0nsumEs mE...
, 2:03 AM
iN thE miDst oF the niGht...

hErE i aM...

fEeLiNg eMpty...

tRyiNg tO pULL mYsELf bAck frOm the hELpLeSsnEss i fEeL riGht nOw...

aS iM listEniNg tO aLL diS sOngs...

mY tEars fELL...

bUt...

whO cAn hELp mE?

nOonE...

nOt evEn yOu...

i cAn oNLy hELp mysELf...

bUt...

i fOrgOt hOw tOo...

aNd i fEeL miSerAbLe...

iM iN agOny...

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thE pr0blEm liEs wiF mE~
Tuesday, June 21, 2005, 10:58 PM
dErE's alOt oF tiNgs i wAn tO sAy in hErE~ bUt sOmEhOw...i jUz cAn't fiNd thE riGht wOrds tO cOnvEy wAd i wAn tO sAy~ rEcEntLy, i wrOte oN hOw mUch i hOpE tO bEcOme thE nOrmaL mE oncE mOre...sAyiNg tT i hOpE tT i cAn b mysElf agAin...bUt i fAilEd~ i fAilEd tO bEcOmE nOrmAL~ shOuld i bE sAd oR wAd? i dUn evEn nOe...

wELL...i aM diSapPointEd iN mYsELf~ wHy? cOz thE prOblEms liEs wiF mE! i aM thE onE whO tiNks tOo mUch aNd dUn nOe hOw tO tOk nOrmAlly~ iM owAys at a lOss aNd i dunnO hOw tO tOk~ i fEeL uNcOmfOrtAbLe aNd i dUn nOe hOw tO opEn uP~ i jUz feEL uNeAsy bEiNg mYsELf at timEs~ i fEeL likE iM a iDiot...wAd iF othErs gEt thE wrOng mEaniNg? wAd iF tHy diSlikE mE? wAds thE sOlutiOn tO diS prOblEm dEn? thE oNLy tiNg i cAn dO nOw is tO aCt nOrmally aNd bE mysELf...thE qUes is...cAn i dO it? aNd hOw cAn i dO it?

wEnt tO cAusEwAy pOint tOdAy wiF aManda, dAphnE & shipiNg...dAphnE bOught a wEddiNg giFt fOr hEr tEachEr whO's gEttiNg mArriEd sOon~ wE wEnt tO thE liBrAry fiRst cOz i wAn tO rEtUrn bOoks aNd dAp wAns tO bOrrOw sOmE aRt bOoks...dEn wE atE lUnch at thE fOod cOurt aNd shOppEd aRnd fOr thE giFt~ dAphnE gOt aNgRy wEn wE wErE at miNi tOons cOz nO onE attEndEd tO hEr wEn shE rEqUestEd fOr hELp~ lOlx...it wAs thE exAct sitUatiOn tt hAppEnEd tO mE b4~ jUz tT i diNt fLArE uP...hAhAz~ i jUz walkEd oUt oF thE stOrE...wE wEnt intO hAllmArk lAtEr...aNd i tOok a piCtuRe oF sAmmi for fUn~ dEn thE stOre attEndAnt tOld mE tT picTurEs cAnnOt b tAkEn in thE stOre...lOlx~ sO pAisEh...i jUz wAlkEd oUt~ hAhAz...wE shOppEd untiL 5 dEn wE wEnt aNd wAtch a mOviE~ mR aNd mRs sMith~ tT shOw rOcks~ i likE it...hAhAz~ thE mOst aMaziNg tiNg wAs tT...i kEpt qUiet dUring thE eNtirE 2 hRs lOng shOw~ i diNt evEn mUttEr a wOrd~ lOlx...i diNt nArrAtE thE stOry tOo~ cOol hUh? hAhAz...shOppEd aRnd fOr awHiLe aFt thE shOw...dEn we wEnt hOmE~

wAntEd tO gEt a nEw cOmb tOdAy cOz i lOst my cOmb~ cOuldn't fiNd thE dEsiGn i wAntEd...sO i diNt bUy~ i oSo dEcidEd tO aSk my siS abOut tT liQuid eyE liNEr thiNgy beforE gEttiNg onE~ so i dEcidEd to pUt oFf thE idEa oF gEttiNg a liQuid eyE liNer tOdAy...i diD bOught sOmE rUbbErbAnds thOugh~ hAhAz...aNywAy, mY nEw idOl is wu kE qUn~ hAhAz...fELL iN lUv wiF hiM aFt hEariNg hiS sOng~ vEry nicE...i lOve jErry aNd sAmmi tOo~ sO i hAf 3 idOls in tOtAl nOw~ hAhAz...i'vE gOttEn lOts of nEw sOngs tT i likE~ iM hApPy~

[[ sOmEthing mUz b dOnE...bEforE thE gAp gEts fUrthUr~ ]]

hAPpy fAthEr's dAy~ ((:
Sunday, June 19, 2005, 11:58 PM
nO blOggiNg fOr tOdAy~

jUz wAnnA wiSh mY dADdy a "hApPy fAthEr's dAy"~

i lOvE mY dAdDy...*mUaCks*

hEex...

[[ i miSs a frEn...sO vEry mUch~ ]]

at sUntEc wiF mUm & jiE~ ((:
Saturday, June 18, 2005, 11:53 PM
aHhHhHh! s0 tirEd...jUz gOt hOmE~ wEnt oUt wiF my mUm & jiE tOdAy~ bEfore wE lEft thE hsE tOdAy...i sHoutEd at my mUm! =/ cOz she kEpt cOmmentiNg oN my mAkE up aNd mY drEssiNg...makiNg mE piSsEd~ aNd my siS was hELpiNg hEr aLL thE wAy...aNd shE say i lOok likE rEn yAo! aiyA...dUn cArE dEm la...i likE cAn liAoz~

wE wErE dEcidiNg whErE tO gO at wdL mRt...spEnt abOut 10-15 miNs oN dEciding whErE tO gO! -.- mY siS aSk mE to chOosE frOm diS 3 pLacEs...she sAy eithEr gO aLjUniEd eAt diM sUm, gO sUntEc eAt kEnNy rOgErs oR gO chinAtOwn eAt hAwkEr fOod~ i chOosE sUntEc iN thE eNd! cOz it hAs bEen a wHiLe sincE i'vE bEen dErE aNd dErE got aiR-cOn sOmEmOrE~ hAhAz...qUite siCk oF eAtiNg thE fOod at chiNatOwn le...dEn aljUniEd iS eAt at kOpitiAm dE~ nO aiRcOn...tOdAy wEathEr dAmn hOt u nOe~ -.- eH...shOppEd arOund at cityLiNk aNd i sAw a nicE pAir oF miNi sKirt at 37 dEgrEes~ sOmEmOre gOt 40% oFf~ mY mUm wAn bUy fOr mE dE...bUt sOmEhOw...tHy sAy it dUn lOok nicE oN mE~ sO i diNt bUy in thE eNd~ tHy chOosE onE tT i dUn likE...bUt tHy sAy it lOok nicE oN mE~ bUt i diNt bUy iN the eNd oSo...hAhAz!

aFt tT...we wEnt aNd atE a bUffEt stEamboat diNnEr~ cOst aBt $30++! mY mUm sAw hOw mUch i wAntEd tO eAt tT...sO shE sAy eAt tt fOr diNnEr lOr~ i rEalisEd hOw mUch mY mUm lOvEs mE...cOz shE's wiLLiNg to spEnd diS mUch aMt oF mOnEy tO mAkE mE hAppy dEspitE feEliNg tt its cOstly~ I LOVE MY MUMMY!!! aNd wEn wE wEnt tO thE TOilEt...mY mUm aSkEd mE tO aPPLy sOap oN my hAnds dEn shE oN the tAp lEt mE wAsh~ u miGht feel nOthiNg...bUt i was v tOuchEd at wAd shE diD~ i tOld hEr "mUmMy! i nOt a kiD liaO lA~" aNd shE rEpLiEd "tO mE...u wiLL aLwAys b mUmMy's kiD..." ((:

tT stEambOat dinNEr qUitE nicE~ itS sAddEniNg tT dAdDy cAn't cOmE wiF us bcOz oF wOrk~ hiS cOllEugE chAngEd shiFt wif hiM niA~ dEn my dAd bLur bLur sAy oK! fAthEr's dAy cOmiNg sOon u nOe~ hAiz...

I LOVE MY DADDY!!! *mUaCks*

nEopRintS tt i tOok wiF mY frEns at bUgis ytD~ ((:

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[[ aMandA sAys shE lOoks likE a tEachEr iN diS piC~ ]]

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[[ i lOvE diS~ cOz my hAir lOoks sHiNy! hAhAz... ]]

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[[ evErybOdy iS cOllAspiNg tO thE bAck~ hAhAz... ]]

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[[ mY hAir's evEn sHinEr~ bUt i hAtE tt dEprEssEd lOok oN mY fAcE! -.- ]]

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[[ sAy chEEsE flOwErs~ ((: ]]

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[[ fEliciA iS in thE nEopriNt tOo...hAhAz~ ]]

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[[ eH...whErE aM i? *luFfs* ]]

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[[ takEn on 17tH jUnE 2005~ c thOsE wOrds? i wrOte it! hEex... ]]

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[[ aSp dE "crOwn" aNd fELiciA dE "!!" hAhAz~ ]]

i dUnNo wHethEr cAn i stEp oUt oF my owN dimEnsion aLL bY mYsELf...


a n0rmaL pErs0n i shAll bE...
Friday, June 17, 2005, 11:53 PM
i wAs sLpiNg jUz nOw~ cOz i went oUt wiF my frEns prEtty eArLy todAy + i whOle dAy dEprEssiOn...dEn bEri tirEd~ sO i sLpt wHiLe my jiE wAs usiNg mY cOmp~ shE wOkEd mY uP 3 timEs aNd bcOz oF tT...i hAd 3 diFf drEams in diS 1 hR nAp~ bUt i fOrgOt thE dEtAils of diS drEams aLr...i oNly rMb tT thEy r aBt my tEn flOwErs~ thE lAst drEam wAs sMtHg abOut dAphnE giviNg aN advicE tO aManda in hEr mSn niCk~ aSp, dAphnE aNd aManda's nAme wAs mEntiOnEd in thE niCk~ bUt i fOrgOt wAd wAs it...wEn i jUz wOkEd uP i stiL rMb dE~ nOw...fOrgOt aLr...-.- bUt thE aDvice wAs a rEli mEaniNgfUL onE! im sUrE oF tT!

wEnt tO bUgis wiF aManda, dAp, aSp, eiLeEn & aH kAi tOdAy~ hMm...it wAs kiNdA fun aCtually~ it wOuld hAd bEen mOrE fUn iF i wAsn't tT dEprEssEd~ haviNg a dEprEssed lOok oN my fAcE thE whOle dAy...hOw cAn thE oUting b tT fUn? somEhOw...i jUz fELt gUilty aNd sOrry fOr spOiLiNg aLL the fUn...bUt it sEems kiNda hArd tO b nOrmal wEn u hAf aLr siNk intO deprEssiOn...mAyb i shOuldn't hAf gOnE...

i hAf dEcidEd tO stEp oUt oF mY dimEnsiOn tO bEcOme the nOrmal pErsOn i usEd tO b! thE siaO zAr bOr tT i wAs oncE~ cOz oF wAd aLL my frEns tOld mE aNd tT i fELt rELi stUpid tO tOrturE mysELf likE tT...i wiL b thE nOrmal pErsOn agAin! i shOuldn't bE mAking mY LifE misErabLe for mYsELf...yEsh~ nOrmal pErsOn i shALL bE~ thAnks fOr aLL thE hELp my fLowErs hAd givEn mE dUriNg diS pEriod~ aNd sOrry fOr aLL thE trOubLe Tt i bRoUght intO aLL uR livEs...i miGht nOt sUccEed iN bEcOmiNg the nOrmal mE...bUt i'll tRy~ hOpE tT the nExt timE u c mE...i wiLL bE thE "mE" i usEd tO bE...

lOok at wAd eiLeEn sEnt mE!

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[[ cLairE~ u likE it tOo ritE? hEex...=D ]]

tHe eMpty s0uL wh0 wAndErs thE strEet...
Wednesday, June 15, 2005, 11:54 PM
hOw cOmE i diNt nOe?! y diNt u aSk mE? oR aM i jUz iNviSibLe tO yOu? HELLO!!! u cAn aSk mE...iM owAys hErE~ it jUz dEpEnds oN whO u wAn tO aSk...oR mAyb whO u feeL cOmfOrtabLe wiF? mAyb iM nOt thE onE sUitabLe tO hELp i gUeSs...aNywAy, itS owAys nOt mE...tts mY fAtE? lOlx...yA~ MY FATE!

i vOmitEd agAin! jUz aFt i cAmE hM...wEn i wAs bAthiNg~ i vOmitEd in thE siNk aNd i hAd tO DUG OUT ALL THE FOOD WIF MY OWN HANDS! iF nOt...it wiLL bE clOggEd~ eWw? its mY hAnds La...nOt uRs~ bUt i cLeAnEd thE whOle tOilEt wiF dEttOL! mUmMy wiL b v hAPpy wEn shE nOes tT! bUt shE wUn b...wEn shE nOes i vOmitEd in thE siNk! -.-

wEnt oUt wiF dAphnE, sHipiNg, eiLeEn & siQi tOdAy~ sOmEhOw...the oUtiNg jUz fELt aBt diFfErEnt aS uSuaL~ aNywAy, wE wEnt oRchArd tOdAy aNd i brOught alOng thE grEen tEa aSp lEft iN my bAg wEeks agO! aNd gUeSs wAd? shE drAnk it! oNLy a LittLe bA...hAhAz~ dEn wE wAlkEd arOuNd aNd wE wEnt tO tAkA lOr~ i bOught aUntiE aNnE's prEtzEl aNd oSo sOme gElatO~ shArEd wiF dEm...aNd siQi atE mOst oF it! shE pAid mE $1 thOugh...hAhAz~ ((: wEnt tO mAc aFt tT...wE diD hAd sOmE tOks dErE...bUt i diNt sPokE mUch~ dEn wE drAnk ice lEmOn tEa aNd atE friEs~ aFt tT...wE wEnt aNd bUy BRA! cOz i nEedEd it...lOlx~ dAPpy wAs mY nANny...she hELp mE sELectEd a fEw dEsigNs...i bOught twO~ likE it alOt...bUt it cOst aBt $60! eXpEnsivE siA...wE wEnt tO heErEn aFt tT aNd we aCtually sAw 3 stArs dErE~ lUcky oR wAd?! fiRstLy, wE sAw chEn fEng liNg...dEn wE sAw liN xiaO pEi...aNd wE sAw chEn hAn wEi hAving dinnEr in a rEstArAunt~ lOlx~ wE hAd diNnEr at biLLy bOmbErs aNd the pRice was prEtty stEep! bUt dErE wAs alOt tO eAt~ i fELt bLoatEd aFt eAtiNg~ no wOndEr i pUkEd! i wAntEd tO gEt a piErciNg at my eAr bOnE tOdAy dE...bUt mY frens sAy aFt Os dEn piErce bEttEr...dEn cAn piErcE tOgEthEr...so i diNt piErcE in thE eNd~ wEnt hM aFt tT...

piCturEs oF uS hAviNg diNnEr at biLLy bOmbErs~

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[[ dAp aNd mE~ *xiAn nU xiA fAn* ]]

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[[ lOok aT hOw ugLy i lOok! piMpLes! aRgHhH ]]

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[[ dAp, aSp, chOng aNd siQi~ eAtiNg icE-crEam? ]]

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[[ thE bEst fEmaLe lEadiNg aCtrEss fOr thE oScArs awArdS~ LiN siQi! ]]

sOmEhOw...i stiLL fELt eMpty tOdAy~ tOns oF prObLeMs r stiLL wEighiNg dOwn...

siNcE uR owAys hELpiNg...y cAnt u lEt mE heLp u diS timE? *siGhs*

thE blUrrEd rAinb0w...
Tuesday, June 14, 2005, 10:45 PM
i dUnnO wAd tO blOg...iM iN a dAzE~ cOz tiNgs hAppEnEd agAin...aNd i dUnnO hOw tO cOpE wiF it~ iS it bcOz oF mE agAin? aM i thE cAusE oF evErythiNg? i dUnnO wAd tO dO...I fEeL hELpLeSs~ im cOnfUsEd nOw...sO cOnfUsEd! iM wOrriEd tOo...sO wOrriEd! u aLL dunnO hOw it fEeLs...cOz u arE nOt mE~ iM at a lOss oF wAd i shOuld dO nExt...thiNg arE hAppEniNg sO fAst tt i cAn't kEep uP wiF wAds hAppEniNg~ wAds wrOng agAin...mY LifE nevEr sEems tO b nOrmaL! oR iS it bcOz i crEate unNeccEsAry bUrdEns fOr mysELf? ...=_(

i was tOuchEd at hOw mUch my frEns cArEd~ i cRiEd wEn iM alOnE...tiNkiNg oF hOw stUpid tt i cAn b~ i cRiEd bcOz i wAs tOuchEd~ i cRiEd bcOz tHy stiLL carEd...bUt i stiLL fEeL cOupEd uP in diS dimEnsiOn oF minE...it rEpEats evErydAy~ i cAn oNLy fEeL nOrmaL aNd wEn iM mYsELf wEn iM wAtchiNg vCd! cOz oNLy dEn cAn i b iN anOthEr wOrld...i feeL likE im rELi gOing intO anOther wOrld...likE wEn iM tOkiNg oR wAdevEr...iM owAys iN a dAzE~ i dunnO wAd tO dO~

i dUn wAn tO tEL aNyonE aNymOre...i dUn wAn aNybOdy tO fEeL tT iM tOo dEpEndEnt! evEryonE hAs thiEr owN prOblEms...itS nOt riGht fOr mE tO add oN tO thiEr prObLems~ fUrthUr mOre...i chOose tO b likE diS~ dErE's nO rEasOn y i shOuld trOubLe othErs tO hELp mE oUt or tO evEn hEar wAd i fEeL~ i blOg oUt wAd i fEeL aNd my trOubLEs in hErE bcOz i wAnnA vEnt oUt hOw i fEEL...i dUn mEan tO trOubLe my frEns oR aNythiNg! i dUn wiSh tT thiEr mOod is affEctEd bY mE tOo...cOz i wAn dEm tO b hApPy! i dUn wAn dEm tO b iRritAtEd bY hEaring my fUstrAtiOns...blOgging is bEttEr~

iM sOrry iF i cAusEd aNy mOod chAngE iN aNy oF u...iM sOrry fOr bRiNgiNg sO mUch trOubLe intO aLL oF uR livEs...iM sOrry fOr evEythiNg aNd i thAnk aLL oF u...

hOw i wiSh i wAsn't bOrn intO diS wOrld sOmEtimEs...bUt i thank gOd fOr giving mE LifE aNd mEetiNg sO mUch pPL tt made a diFfeRencE iN mY LifE...

wAd dO u mEan? i rELi hopE tT u cAn gEt bEttEr...aNd dUn b likE mE! thAnks fOr evErythiNg...

[[ the rAinbOw tT cAmE aFt thE rAin...iS blUrrEd oNcE mOrE~ ]]

thE 0thEr dimEnsi0n...thE 0thEr w0rld...
Monday, June 13, 2005, 6:57 PM
i jUz typEd fiNishEd thE entRy fOr mY tEn flOwErs blOg...aNd nOw iM uPdatiNg minE~ lOlx...i wOuld b awAy fOr dAys! nOt bcOz iM gOing oN a hOlidAy...itS bcOz iM eNtEriNg anOther dimEnsiOn sOon! tOdAy wOuld bE mY lAst dAy oN eArth...*iM nOt gOing tO eNd mY LifE* =.=

dis dimEnsiOn is eNtirELy diFf frOm eArth...itS mUch mOre pEacefUl dErE~ wif nO hAtrEd, nO kiLLings, nO rEvEngE~ nOthiNg exCept fOr thE sOund oF a wAterfALL, thE sOft grEen grAss aNd the bluE sKy~ diS wOuld b hOw thE dimEnsiOn lOoks in the dAy~ wEn niGht fALLs, thErE wiLL b aN oCcAsiOnaL crOak oF a frOg, thE sOft hOwL oF a wiNd aNd a stAr-stUddEd sKy~
dEre wUn b aNy hUman derE tOo...nO human xcEpt fOr mE! bY tt timE...i wUn exiSt aS a humAn...it wOuld b mY sOuL~ mY hEart aNd sOuL...

wAd wiL i dO dEre dEn? i wiL siT oN thE grAss aNd adorE thE bEautifUL scEnEry dErE! hAhAz~ dEn...i'LL stArt tO tiNk aNd cOnsidEr wAd wiLL my pErSonaiLity b wEn i cOme bAck to eArth~ shOuld i adOpt a mEan, hOrribLe aNd eviL attitUdE towArds lifE or shOuld i bE kiNd, nicE and gOod tOwArds mY lifE? wELL...i'll hAf tO tiNk sEriousLy aBt tT! itS likE diS...lifE is owAys likE dis~ sOmetimEs...u jUz nEed to tiNk seriOusLy abOut wAd u nEed tO bEcOmE~ dEn...chAnge uR chAracter tO adApt To uR suRrOndiNgs...

u tiNk im mAd? im wiErd? iM nOt~ dis is thE wAy i Am...sOmEtimEs wEn tOo mUch tiNgs hAppEn at oNe go...u hAf no chOice bUt tO cOnsidEr cArefuLLy whO u rEli wAnnA bcM~

[[ it cAn bE diSappOintiNg wEn u hAf tO rEsOrt tO sUch wAys to dEcievE ursELf... ]]

iM stiLL piSsEd!!!
Sunday, June 12, 2005, 11:33 PM
wOw~ iTs a miRacLe hOw piSsEd oFf i cAn b! i mEan uSually...i wAkE uP Le dEn wiLL fOrgEt aBt thE mAttEr dE! diS timE...thE inCidEnt jUz kEpt rEpLayiNg iN mY miNd~ thE wOrds...thE aCtiOns...evErytHiNg! it jUz kEpt cOmiNg ovEr mE~ sO mY cUrrent mOod iS stiLL ANGRY...aNd i dUn tiNk it wiLL gEt aNy bEttEr sOon~

i wOndEr sOmEtimEs...dO u bEliEvE wAd shE sAys? cOz iF u dO...dEn i'll b vEry diSappOintEd~ *siGhs* aNywAy...iM tOo tirEd aNd PISSED tO cArE aNymOrE...

nOt in thE mOod tO uPdAtE tOdAy...

mAyb i shOuld shOw u the rEsUlts oF sOmE qUizEs tt i hAf dOnE~ ((:

pure angel

yOu r aN aNgEL!
pOsitivE - yOu r swEet, kiNd aNd gentLe.
nEgAtivE - yOu r sEnsitivE aNd cAn bE hUrt eAsiLy.

wAds uR iNnEr mAgicAL bEiNg?
brOugHt tO yOu bY qUizilla

adorbable fairy

yOu arE nEw yR's evE!

wAd hOlidAy arE yOu?
brOught tO yOu bY qUizilla

prep

prEp dOll!

wHich dOll arE yOu?
brOught tO yOu bY qUizilla

i fiNaLLy sAw tHrgh y0u...
Saturday, June 11, 2005, 10:45 PM
SNEAKY RAT!!! u arE rELi oF nO diFfErEncE tO a rAt! iS snEakiNg uP bEhiNd pPL aNd stAbBing dEm bEhiNd thiEr bAcks aLL u nOe? oMg~ gEt a LifE oF uR oWn La! sOmEhOw...biT bY bit...i sAw thRgh u! yUcks...jUz tiNkiNg oF evEry wOrd aNd evEry aCtiOn u diD sEems tO b pOllUtiNg mY brAin...I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ANGRY BEFORE!

u r aLwAys likE diS~ sAyiNg diFfErEnt tHings at diFfErEnt timEs! oNe miN u cAn b cOndEmming a pErsOn aNd thE nExt miN? hELpiNg tT pErsOn? wAds wrOng wiF uR DAMN BIG FARKING BRAIN? i tiNk u shOuld b givEn aN awArd...aN awArd fOr thE "grEatEst bAckstAbbEr aLivE"! aNd the mOst iMpt tiNg...U BETTER STOP MAKING STORIES OF UR OWN AND TELLING OTHERS ABOUT IT~ wAd u sAid wAs NOT thE trUth at aLL~ r u tRying tO chAngE othEr's opiNioN oF mE oR wAd? STOP MAKING WILD GUESSES! I HAF NEVER DID TT! aNd nEvEr wiLL i piTy u aNymOrE...NOT EVEN OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!

biT bY biT...i gEt tO undErstAnd wAd shE has bEen gOing thRgh~ dUn evEr dO aNythiNg bAd tO hEr~ cOz nOt oNLy wiLL u gEt thE bAd kArmA...i wiLL dEfiNetELy cOnfrOnt u oNe oF diS dAys...BITCH!

hEy...i 100% stAnd bY uR sidE aFt i sAw thRgh hEr~

BACKSTABBER! HYPOCRITE! LIAR! STORY-MAKER! BITCH! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

snEaky rAt! *kiCks u iN dA aSs*
Friday, June 10, 2005, 7:20 PM
uR riGht! im sLaCkiNg~ at this pOint in timE...iM stiLL crEatiNg exCusEs for mysELf? i cAnt bEliEvE it~ i fEel tT dErE's a biG eMpty hOLe in mE...lOokiNg at thE wAy pPL r hAstEniNg thiEr pAcE...dEtErminEd tO b bEttEr~ i feEl scArEd...cOz i nOe tt im aLrEady fAr fAr bEhiNd~ i hAf nOt bEen aBLe to aCcoMpLiSh aNythiNg sO fAr~ so itS timE tO dO sO...

mY alArm clOck diNt wakE mE uP tOdAy...sO i miSsEd dNt agAin~ prObabLy bcOz oF ytD's lAtE niGht vCd viEwiNg...tts y i wOkEd uP at abOut 1 pM~ dEn...i did nOthiNg excEpt fOr gOrgiNg mY mOuth wiF fOod aNd wAtchiNg vCds~ tiNk im gOing tO wOrk oN my dNt tOnitE oR at lEast stArt oN sOmE aSsiGnmEnts...sOmEhOw, i jUz diSlikE thE cUrrEnt mE...

i miSs hiM...diS iS a fAct Tt cOuldn't b chAngEd~ it cAnt b chAngEd bY aNyoNe...n im jUz wOndEriNg whEthEr diD hE kEpt thE riNg i gAf hiM aFt cLairE rEminded mE abt it in hEr tAggy~ did u tHrEw it awAy? cOz iF u diD...u thrEw mY hEart aWay tOo~ aNd it wOuld rEflEct upOn u aS 'mEan'~ i gAf sMtHg i likEd sO mUch tO u...evEn iF u dun intEnd to wEar it...u cAn at lEast pUt it awAy~ iN uR drAwEr oR wAdevEr n lEt it b fOrgOttEn~ jUz dUn thrOw it awAy...

diS is thE oNLy mEmOry i hAf oN the riNg...

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[[ ...mEmOry oF u wEaring it~ ((: ]]

wHy diD u hAf to liE? wAds ur mOtive bEhind aLL ur actiOns? uR a snEaKy rAt...

l0ok at mE pUke~ eWw...=/
Thursday, June 09, 2005, 11:57 PM
dErE's sMtHg tt u mUz nOe~ tEn flOwErs hAs gOt a blOg! wE hAf a blOg oF oUr oWn...lOlx~ b sUrE tO viSit it k~ hAhAz...its jUz dOwn dErE~ uNdEr aLL my liNks! i lOve my tEn flOwErs! tHx fOr bEing a pArt oF my LifE~ rOck oN gErs...((:

iM sO fEd uP~ i nEed tO chAngE my idEa fOr dNt! aLL my prEviOus eFfOrt has gOnE dOwn thE drAin~ i spEnd sO mUch timE oN my prEviOus idEa aNd nOw wAd? POOF! gOnE? kaOz! bUt i hAf tO aDmit...thE prEviOus idEa, thOugh crEativE, wAs nOt PRATICAL~ sO i cAn oNLy rEsiGn tO fAtE aNd chAngE mY idEa~ lUckiLy the bOss at thE dNt shOp gAf mE sOmE idEas aNd i mAnAgEd tO cOmE pUt wiF a PRATICAL dEsiGn~ iM nOt v sAstiSfiEd wiF it thOugh! i wAs hOpiNg tt ah lEOw cAn hELp me mOdify aBit wEn i gO bAck tO sCh tML~ spEakiNg oF SCHOOL! iTs the hOls n i hAf tO gO bAck fOr lEssOns...tTs aLr v piTifUL~ n wEn i gO bAck...i hAf tO c ms pEng dE LaN jiaO biN? oMg~ shE's a bitCh! i hAtE hEr...shE cAught mE fOr nOt tUckiNg in my sHirt aNd lEttiNg dOwn mY hAir~ shE sUcks...i hAtE hEr~ i hOpe i cAn vOmit oN hEr~ nExt timE...i wiLL dO jUz tT! -.-

yEsh~ i vOmitEd~ aBt 3 timEs aFt aLL oF uS hAd lUnch at prAtA hsE tOdAy! i vOmitEd agAin wEn i wAs gOing tO thE dNt wOrkshOp at rOchOr rOad~ it wAs bcOz of thE bUs 851! i fELt diZzy aFt aLiGhtiNg aNd i jUz cOuldn't hELp bUt vOmit~ aNd dAmn it! thE vOmit tAstE sOur diS timE~ gUeSs it was bcOz oF thE digEstivE jUicEs tt gOt mixEd tOgEthEr wiF the prAtA i hAd eArLieR wiF my frEns? eWw...bUt i tOt the vOmit tAstE oK wEn i vOmited fOr the fiRst timE? STOP IT LA~ UR GETTING DISGUSTING! hAhAz...i atE aBit oF kEong's lUnch cOz my stOmAch fEeLs eMpty aFt aLL the pUkiNg~ tHx kEOng~

iM gOing tO wAtch aBit oF mY vCd nOw~ hEex...

tiLL dEn~ ciaO...

fUn at mArina bAy~
Wednesday, June 08, 2005, 11:14 PM
i nOe i'vE nOt bEen uPdAting my blOg rEcEntLy~ i wAs tOo lAzy tO uPdAtE nOt bcOz i diNt hAf thE timE~ hAhAz...aNywAy, lAst mOndAy wAs kAirOng's bdAy! hAppy 17th bdAy~ hopE u eNjoyEd thE oUting wE pLannEd fOr u~ hOpE u fELt tT it wAs aN eNjOyable onE~

thE oUtiNg wAs a v aDvEnturOus onE~ wE mEt aT 6pM at mAriNa bAy mRt stAtiOn aNd aLmOst evEryonE aRrivEd on timE~ dEn...wE sEt oFf tO hAf oUr steAmbOat diNnEr~ hAhAz...dEre wAs diS uNcLe whO kEpt pEstEriNg uS~ hE kEpt aSkiNg uS tO gO tO eAt hiS shOp dE stEambOat~ sAyiNg tT "itS $10...v chEAp! we wiLL dRivE u tO the shOp oSo~ wO mEn dE sHi wU sHi bU chUo dE..." cOmE oN La~ wE hAf the RIGHT tO chOosE wHich shOp wE wAn tO gO! nO nEed to pEstEr uS uNtiL LikE tT dE mA~ dRive uS dErE? wAd iF u drOvE uS tO othEr pLacEs hOw~ *sHivErs* aNd thE wOrsE ting was tt hE kEpt aSkiNg hOw mAny pPL r dErE sO tT hE cAn rEsErvE sEats fOr uS~ wE aLr tOld hiM...nO nEed Le! bUt dEn...hE jUz kEpt oN bLabbEriNg oN...=/

the bUs tt we tOok dEre was rELi crOwdEd...i wAs sAndwiChEd~ eWw...dEn wE hAd oUr stEambOat at onE rAthEr "fAmOus" shOp aNd the fOod wAs yUmMy! wE hAd a hard timE kiLLiNg thE crAbs thOugh~ kEong wAs thE onE hu kiLLEd dEm aLL~ hAhAz...i wAs sO fULL aNd i atE alOt~ eSp thE crAbs...tHy r rELi nicE~ hAhAz~ onE dAmn fUnNy tiNg hAppEnEd dErE~ i was likE lUffiNg at thE oPpositE tabLe wEn the gErs sEatEd dErE scrEam~ i evEn tOld aSp tt thiEr steAmbOat on firE! it wAs mEant tO b a jOkE...bUt hU nOes?! ouRs gOt oN firE!!! aNd the fire got biGgEr wEn aManda pOurEd wAter oNtO it! hAhAz...sO fUnny~ aNd dErE wAs diS cHikO pEk whO kEpt lOoking at mE~ hE kEpt wiNkiNg aNd twitChing hiS eyEbrOws...*pUkEs* diSgUstiNg!

dEn it wAs the timE tO cUt thE cAkE~ hAhAz...wE cUt the cAke in a sMaLL bAskEtbALL cOurt and wE hAd a fEw drOps oF bEer~ siQi stArtEd bEhAviNg crAziLy aNd i gOt a littLe diPsy~ hAhAz...wE wEnt tO thE bEach tOo~ (nOt rELi a bEacH bA...sOmEthiNg likE a lAkE?) wE lAid dOwn aNd stArEd at thE stArs aNd wE chAttEd~ nicE fEeLiNg...hEex~ hAd alOt of tOts abOut hiM wEn i wAs stAriNg at thE sEa aNd listEniNg tO the mUsic...hAd alOt alOt of tOts~*siGhs*
sOon...it wAs time tO gO hOmE~ aNd we wErE lOst! wE wErE lOst in a pArk...cAn u bELievE it? itS sO frEaking dArk...bUt wE mAnAgEd tO fiNd oUr wAy oUt~ rChed hOmE at abOut 1+...

JERK~ UR SUCH AN UNGENTLEMAN~ RAHMATS'S BETTER DEN U...MUCH MUCH BETTER!

piCturEs tAkEn at mArina bAy~

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[[ kAirong~ thE bdAy gEr! ((: ]]

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[[ loOk at hOw chOr lOr siQi aNd i cAn bE~ ]]

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[[ "aH hOng" mEi sHi~ hOstEd bY mE, siQi & aSp! ]]

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[[ sAy cheEsE gErs~ sMiLe! =) ]]

it was rELi fUn~ hEex...

[[ hAi tUn wAn liAn rEn fiNish Le...=( ]]


i l0ve cUrLs...((:
Sunday, June 05, 2005, 11:42 PM
iM uPdAting mY blOg bEforE thE clOck stRikEs 12~ aFt it stRikEs 12...it wOuld b aN aLL nEw dAy aNd it wiLL oSo b kAiroNg's bdAy Le~ hEex...=) oH yA~ hAPpy bdAy yOng chOon~ uR 18! hAhAz...likE dAphnE~ =) itS gOnnA b a lOng dAy tML...=/

wEnt oUt wiF my jiE ytD~ hAhAz...bOth oF uS wEnt tO chinEsE gArdEn tO gEt a hAircUt~ (iSh chinEsE gArdEn dE mRt dErE...nOt thE rEaL gArdEn k~ -.-") i diD a nOrmaL trEatmEnt + hAircUt aNd it cOst abOut $48...hAhAz~ dEn mY jiE diD a cOloUr trEatmEant + hAircUt aNd it cOst abOut $80~ expEnsivE siA~ hAhAz...mY styLiSt mAdE cUrls fOr mE at thE eNd~ hAhAz...thOse tEmpOrAry onEs~ ((: i fiNd it nicE lEh...likE dOll likE tT~ hAhAz...bUt sOmE oF my frEns sAy nOt nicE~ hUi mEh? =/ iF pOssibLe...i wAnnA hAf diS kiNd oF hAirstyLe oN prOm nitE! hEex...=D

aFt tT...bOth oF us wEnt tO jUrOng pOint tO haf diNnEr~ mY jiE bOught a chErry miNi sKirt frOm icE LemOn tEe~ shE tOld mE tT shE hAf been eyEing tt sKirt fOr a v lOng timE~ hAhAz...bEfOre wE gOt oUr hAircUt, wE oSo wEnt to cAusEwAy pOint tO fiNd hEr chErry miNi sKirt~ bUt we cAnt fiNd it dErE~ hAhAz...i fOund a niCe piEcE oF miNi skiRt dErE tOo~ itS cOst oNLy abOut $19.90~ bUt i wEar nOt v nicE lEh...sO iN thE eNd diNt bUy lOr! *hAiz* both oF us wEnt tO mArina sqUarE aFt hAviNg oUr diNnEr...cOz dErE gOt miDniGht sALe mA~ bUt whO nOes! mOst oF thE shOps r nOt opEn yEt (dUe tO rEnOvatiOn)...sO thErE's nOthiNg mUch tO bUy~ i wAs qUite oK wiF it...bUt my siS wAs qUite diSappOintEd wEn we wEnt hM~

hErE's hOw i lOok wiF cUrLs~ =D

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shE's a dOll~ wAhAhAhAz...=D

aNd hErE r sOmE piCturEs of mYsELf takEn at kpOoL oN fRi~

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zi LiAn kUang? absOLuteLy!

siGniNg oFf pEeps! *wiNks*

sAvE mE...
Friday, June 03, 2005, 11:54 PM
BIG FUCK! dErE's sO mUch prObLeMs fOr mE tO hAndLe~ i cAn't cOpE wiF it aNymOre La! sOmEhOw...i wiShEd tT i wAs dEad~ oR mAyb...nEver bOrn intO diS wOrLd~ rEaLLy rEaLLy rEaLLy! diS is onE oF the mOst strEssEd uP dAys oF mY LifE!!! aLL diS prObLeMs jUz sUddenLy appEarEd oUt oF nOwhErE...likE a sUddEn gUst oF wiNd~ tAkiNg evErytHiNg awAy...*pEk cEk*

1St prObLeM: mY hEaLtH~ it sEems tO b gEttiNg wOrsE! lAst timE...dErE wAs thE prob wiF mY bAckbOne~ dEn...mY lUngs~ aNd nOw wAd? mY stOmAch? hAhAz...i kEep thrOwing uP diS fEw dAys~ lAst niGht...i vOmitEd oUt mY dinnEr~ dEn tOdAy...aMandA aNd cLairE witnEssEd mE vOmitiNg oUt my lUnch~ aNd jUz nOw...i vOmitEd aFt diNnEr agAin~ eWw...wAds wrOng wiF mE aR? cLairE sAys iM gEttiNg thiNnEr aNd thinNer (actUally, mY mUm sAid diS b4...bUt i diNt bELievE hEr~) aNd eiLeEn sAys i "dOn't lOok likE yEhyiNg" tOdAy! oH gOd? wAds wrOng? aNd wEn i wEighEd mYsELf wEn i rCh hOmE...i diScOvErEd tT mY wEight dEcrEasEd! *aRgHhhHhhhhhHhhHhHH*

2nd prObLem: frEedOm! yEs...tTs riGht~ i wAnt aNd i nEed frEedOm~ bUt my mUm sEems tO b rEstriCtiNg it! i nEed it La~ giF mE cAn? i nOe u cArE tTs y u rEstRict it~ bUt i rELi eNvy my frEns wEn tHy cAn gO hOmE lAtE in thE niGht~ y cAn't i hAf it wEn tHy cAn? i wEnt agAinst mY mUm sEverAL timEs bY gOing hOmE v lAtE...mAyb shE hAs lost hEr trUst in mE bcOz oF tT~ my frEns tOld mE tt tHy gainEd frEedOm tHrgh timE aNd tRust...tHy wEnt thRgh thE sAmE tiNg i wEnt tHrgH~ aNd tiLL nOw...tHy r stiLL cErtain liMits tO thiEr fReedOm~ bUt...i fEeL tt i cAn't gEt frEedOm tHrgh timE aNd tRust...i fEeL tT i nEed tO dO it thE hArd wAy~ bUt wAd if everythiNg tUrns oUt bAdLy? wAd iF it sPoils my reLatiOnship wiF my fAmiLy? aNd thiNk abOut it...mUm hAs aLr givEn u qUitE alOt oF frEedOm~ dOn b tOo dEmAndiNg! im gOing tO gO mAd iF diS cArriEs oN...

im sO eviL~ rELi...iM rELi sO eviL~ i tiNk im thE mOst eviL bEing in thE wOrld! i hAf 2 kiNd oF tOts iN mY miNd~ thE gOod aNd thE bAd~ dErE's likE aN aNgEL aNd a dEmOn withiN mE~ somEtimEs...it fEeLs gOod tO b bAd~ aNd yEt...it fEeLs gOod tO b gOod~ sO hOw? wAd kiNd oF thiNkiNg shOuld i adOpt? wHich onE???

shE, whO shOuld bE hOnEst, iS a LiAr...

shE, whO shOuld bE nicE, is mEan...

shE, whO shOuld b kiNd, is EviL...

sAvE hEr...

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a niGht t0 rEmEmbEr...
Thursday, June 02, 2005, 7:05 PM
GOD DAMN TT BITCH~ i hAtE hEr! y dO mAyfLowEr hAf sUch aN iRritAtiNg tEachEr likE hEr? eEeks~ shE tiNks shE's a DEVIL? wELL...shE iS onE~ n a dAmn fArkiNg bitChy onE~ i diNt evEn mUttEr oUt a wOrd wEn shE scOld mE~ n shE wAs likE "GET OUT OF THE ROOM IF U WAN!" i diNt sAy aNythiNg ritE? sO y shOuld i gEt oUt? aNd i jUz sAid lEss dEn a sEntEncE wiF cOrEen aNd tT bitCh stArtEd scOldiNg mE~ aNd shE's dEfiNEtELy a PAIN IN THE ASS~ shE actUally sPoke iLL oF mE n cLairE iN frOnt oF 5G bEhiNd oUr bAcks~ BACKSTABBER!!! a bitChy bAckstabbEr whO owAys FLIRTS wiF gUys~ i hOpE shE diEs sOon...mUhAhAhAz! ((: *eviL gRin*

diNt gO fOr dNt tOdAy~ i hAd a hEadachE lAst nitE n it lAstEd tiLL diS mOrniNg~ pArtLy oSo bcOz i diNt wAnnA gO? hAhAz...mEt uP wiF cLairE, siQi & kEong aFt thE lEssOn aNd wE wEnt tO bUgis to cOnsULt thE gUy abOut thE mEchAniSms fOr oUr prOjEcts~ wEe mEng cAme tOo...((: i tiNk aLL oF us hAf somEthiNg iN miNd for oUr prOjEcts aLr...bUt i tiNk i stiLL nEed tO thiNk mOre abOut it~ *brAinstOrmiNg* aFt tT...wE wEnt tO ice mOnstEr tO eAt "icE"~ bUt thE stAndArd oF thE "icE" drOppEd aLot Le...

itS aLmOst the eNd oF onE wEek oF oUr hOls~ so fAst...n diS stUpid hOls dOesn't FEEL likE a hOlidAy at aLL~ wE hAf tO rEpOrt tO sCh aLmOst evErydAy sO oF cOz it dOesn't FEEL likE onE! n the sEssiOns r sO mUch lOngEr dEn sCh hRs...=.= i wAn thE rEsUlts bUt i oSo wAn my hOls bAck! hOw hOw hOw? *hAiz*

i hAd lOtsa fUn on tUeSdAy wiF my frEns~ hAhAz~ aManda, siQi, eiLeEn, sHipiNg & mE wEnt tO tOwn in the evEniNg aNd wE shOppEd aNd atE uNtiL abOut 7+ (wE tOok neOprints tOo~ i wAnnA diSpLay dEm hErE...bUt my scAnnEr's dOwn~) bEfOre gOing to thE eSpLanAdE~ wE wEnt tO thE rOof tErrAcE aNd oH mAn! thE scEnEry dErE wAs grEat! thE aMbiEncE wAs sO nicE aNd rOmAntiC~ siMpLy pErfEct fOr dAtiNg cOupLes! hAhAz...wE mAdE oUr wiShEs dErE tOo~ aFt tT...wE wEnt to stArbUcks n wE drAnk icEd mOchA (oNLy siQi drAnk vAniLLa frEezE) dErE...wE hAd hEart tO hEart tOks dErE tOo~ wE tOkEd uNtiL thE shOp clOsEd at 11.30...hAhAz~ dEn wE wEnt hOmE...it wAs a niGht tO rEmEmbEr~ =D

tAkE it eAsy mY friEnd...dOn b sO sAd~ chEer uP yA?

nicE bl0gskiN? sUits my fEeLiNg nOw~ hE mAdE brOkEn prOmisEs...

hAi tUn wAn liAn rEn stArting Le~ byE...=)




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