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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
thE blUrrEd rAinb0w...
Tuesday, June 14, 2005, 10:45 PM
i dUnnO wAd tO blOg...iM iN a dAzE~ cOz tiNgs hAppEnEd agAin...aNd i dUnnO hOw tO cOpE wiF it~ iS it bcOz oF mE agAin? aM i thE cAusE oF evErythiNg? i dUnnO wAd tO dO...I fEeL hELpLeSs~ im cOnfUsEd nOw...sO cOnfUsEd! iM wOrriEd tOo...sO wOrriEd! u aLL dunnO hOw it fEeLs...cOz u arE nOt mE~ iM at a lOss oF wAd i shOuld dO nExt...thiNg arE hAppEniNg sO fAst tt i cAn't kEep uP wiF wAds hAppEniNg~ wAds wrOng agAin...mY LifE nevEr sEems tO b nOrmaL! oR iS it bcOz i crEate unNeccEsAry bUrdEns fOr mysELf? ...=_(

i was tOuchEd at hOw mUch my frEns cArEd~ i cRiEd wEn iM alOnE...tiNkiNg oF hOw stUpid tt i cAn b~ i cRiEd bcOz i wAs tOuchEd~ i cRiEd bcOz tHy stiLL carEd...bUt i stiLL fEeL cOupEd uP in diS dimEnsiOn oF minE...it rEpEats evErydAy~ i cAn oNLy fEeL nOrmaL aNd wEn iM mYsELf wEn iM wAtchiNg vCd! cOz oNLy dEn cAn i b iN anOthEr wOrld...i feeL likE im rELi gOing intO anOther wOrld...likE wEn iM tOkiNg oR wAdevEr...iM owAys iN a dAzE~ i dunnO wAd tO dO~

i dUn wAn tO tEL aNyonE aNymOre...i dUn wAn aNybOdy tO fEeL tT iM tOo dEpEndEnt! evEryonE hAs thiEr owN prOblEms...itS nOt riGht fOr mE tO add oN tO thiEr prObLems~ fUrthUr mOre...i chOose tO b likE diS~ dErE's nO rEasOn y i shOuld trOubLe othErs tO hELp mE oUt or tO evEn hEar wAd i fEeL~ i blOg oUt wAd i fEeL aNd my trOubLEs in hErE bcOz i wAnnA vEnt oUt hOw i fEEL...i dUn mEan tO trOubLe my frEns oR aNythiNg! i dUn wiSh tT thiEr mOod is affEctEd bY mE tOo...cOz i wAn dEm tO b hApPy! i dUn wAn dEm tO b iRritAtEd bY hEaring my fUstrAtiOns...blOgging is bEttEr~

iM sOrry iF i cAusEd aNy mOod chAngE iN aNy oF u...iM sOrry fOr bRiNgiNg sO mUch trOubLe intO aLL oF uR livEs...iM sOrry fOr evEythiNg aNd i thAnk aLL oF u...

hOw i wiSh i wAsn't bOrn intO diS wOrld sOmEtimEs...bUt i thank gOd fOr giving mE LifE aNd mEetiNg sO mUch pPL tt made a diFfeRencE iN mY LifE...

wAd dO u mEan? i rELi hopE tT u cAn gEt bEttEr...aNd dUn b likE mE! thAnks fOr evErythiNg...

[[ the rAinbOw tT cAmE aFt thE rAin...iS blUrrEd oNcE mOrE~ ]]



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