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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
i finally understand why.
Friday, July 29, 2005, 8:23 PM
in the past, i used to go to a particular place wif a particular person. dis time, i decided to go dere alone. all by myself. i guess the feeling will b v different, very unforgettable. i will tell u how different is the feeling aft i go dere. lol. anyway, my blog is getting more lonely, more quiet and more seluded. i like tt feeling. mayb bcoz i can blog out wad i feel more easily? lol. coz no one is watching or reading wad. hmms. it gifs me a sense of freedom? haha. ya. =P

since i've got some time to spare, let me post up some pictures taken on racial harmony day. haha. i noe it's a bit late but...who cares?

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[[ taken in the hall. where's tony? he's taking the pic la! lol. ]]

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[[ so many people behind dem. lol. coz we sitted in front ma! ]]

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[[ tt scarf looks like a snake strangling dem leh. -.-'' ]]

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[[ almost the whole class is wearing costumes! class spirit! lol. ]]

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[[ yilong & teckjin trying to act funny. lol. look at thier handsigns! ]]

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[[ ms kuek took dis during poa! lol. claire & siqi trying to act shy. haha. ]]

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[[ ms kuek & my eyes close together! lol. no wonder we twins. wahaha. ]]

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[[ pretty formidable girls! lol. took dis after chemistry. haha. ]]

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[[ wad am i looking at? hur hur. lol. ]]

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[[ dis pic is nice! lol. i like i like. haha. ]]

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[[ don ask us! we dunno. -.-'' ]]

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[[ haha. we look mysterious leh. 3 morons at the back. lol. =P ]]

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[[ aiya. dewei & me! look at where his hand is! *shy* ]]

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[[ dewei & how kiat is acting cute. puis. lol. ]]

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[[ how kiat & me. he's so damn freaking tall. i look short. =/ ]]

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[[ eileen! my laopo! and me of coz. perfect couple. heex. ]]

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[[ dewei carrying how kiat? eh. ah keong looks china leh! lol. ]]

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[[ we r carrying each other too! and we haf a hard time doing tt. lol. ]]

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[[ amanda & me. lol. we look pretty leh! haha. ]]

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[[ wee meng came along, dropped his bag & joined in the fun! lol. ]]

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[[ dewei so cool! i like i like! lol. mind you don break ur back. haha. ]]

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[[ ms kuek, ur pretty girl image is gone wif dis pic. lol. ]]

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[[ keong & me! he looks like my father? hmms. ]]

you never noe how lucky you r don you? why muz u oways b the chosen one?

after some thinking today, i realised wad u r trying to do. i reli noe now. you don haf to do tt. you don.

*the forgotten*

i din noe.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005, 8:45 PM
well, i missed sch again today. lol. was too sick to get out of bed and to head for sch. haha. my throat hurts like it has never hurt before and my fever is back. i really can't stand the tot of going to sch anyways. might as well don go right? lol. but i don reli wanna miss dnt today coz i wanna complete my artefact asap! lol. but i still dint go in the end lor coz i was reli uncomfortable.

woked up at about 10 in the morning today. den ate my breakfast and went to see a doc wif my mum. it was located quite near my hse so we walked dere lor. den we had to wait for about an hr b4 we can c the doc! -.-'' during the wait, me and my mum went to the library to return and borrow some books. den aft tt wen we went back to the clinic, it still wasn't my turn and we had to continue waiting. -.-'' the doc gave me a few days mc and ALOT of medicine. all dis totalled up to about $60 lor! kaoz. so farking expensive. but the medicine the doc gaf is pretty good so i guess it's worth the money. after eating the medicine, i went to bed again. slpt from 2 pm to about 6 pm lor. lol. v long hor? den woke up and took a bath. haha.

im watching jue dui superstar now. omg! wei jian's performance is GREAT! i love him loads man! he's so cute leh! and his singing rocks lor! but the hat he wore tonite made him seem abit old. =/ all the performers did pretty well today so weijian might b in danger! vote for him ppl! VOTE!!! i reli tink tt jason kinda suck. i don like him leh. and his singing isn't v good too. weicong, junyang and weilian was good too. hmms. i juz hope weijian can get into the next round! he muz get in! =/

cough. sorethroat. flu. fever. fuggit man. i feel damn freaking sick. should i attend sch tml? or should i continue to hide from reality? aiya. dunno larhs. tink about it later bah. *haiz*

[[ i dint noe. i reli dint noe. but still... ]]

i noe i can do it. i must.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005, 9:39 PM
yes. from now on, i will blog like dis. lol. dunno y leh. but i juz love to blog nowadays. probably its the only place tt can let me reveal out wad i reli feel? ya, probably. i still kinda hate sch nowadays. i juz can't stand the tot of going to sch and facing wad i need to face. reli, i can't. *sighs* im reli afraid tt i couldn't take it anymore. i might just break down again one of dis days. somehow, a tiny part of me anticipates graduation. hoping tt all dis schooling can b over. but deep down, i still can't let it go. i noe it too clearly. i can't lie to myself. not anymore! i gotta face the music. but i will try to let it go. i will.

im reli tired now. my throat is aching due to continous toking today. i tink i strain my voice too much dis few days. now my voice is changed. it becomes like...i dunno how to say. lol. my voice juz sucks now. wahaha! i can't even sing normally! *arghs* i hope it gets better dis few days. luckily my fever subsided. if not, my condition will b worse! anyway, my appetite isn't v well too. it doesn't seems to b improving. why? =/

sch's so stressful nowadays. i gotta stay back in sch for supplementary lessons almost everyday. and next week is the COMMON TEST WEEK. its super lame i tell u. super lame. machiam make until like we sitting for exams like tt. puis. lol. gotta stay back for dnt every now and den. coz need to rush through artefact ma. like for today, i stayed in sch till 7 pm wif siqi. haha. but im happy. coz i finally did some more work. and i haf more than one piece of material now! lol. before that, i went for lunch wif my flowers at pizza hut. i ate pizza despite my sorethroat! lol. mad! wahaha. we skipped maths extra lessons today. heard from ah keong tt mrs quek was kinda pissed off. eh. dunno wads going to happen to us tml? i hope not a form! =/

don worry. i will b fine i tink. i can b alone. all by myself. i can do it dis time, right?

homework time.

*im outta here*

i nEed timE...
Monday, July 25, 2005, 10:45 PM
i haf been trying v hard to contol my emotions.

i need some time.

so please.

gif me time.

thank you.

anyway, TRIPLE T SUCKS LIKE HELL MAN!

still dare to say me somemore?

ill-mannered girl. puis.

made me so pek cek tt i cried.

fucker!

i haf decided to type in dis form from now on. nice?

comments in the tagboard please! thank you.

[[ it might b a little harder dis time. but at least im trying. gif me some time. ]]

itS timE t0 lEt g0 0f the pAst...
Sunday, July 24, 2005, 7:31 PM
diS fEw dAys hAs nEvEr bEen eAsy~ lEarNiNg tO cLiMb uP agAin aFt u fELL cAn b sO tiriNg...sO hArd~ dEre wEre a fEw timEs tT i cRiEd alOne agAin...tiNking oF giviNg uP oncE mOre~ dEn i tOt abOut wAd hAppEnEd diS fEw dAys...i dEcidEd tO cArry oN~ frAnkLy spEakiNg...i dOn rELi nOe wHethEr cAn i sUccEed diS timE...iM rELi nOt sUrE...

aLL tT i cAn tiNk oF diS fEw dAys wAs the mEmOriEs oF thE pAst~ tiNkiNg abOut thOse pLeAsAnt mEmOriEs tT wAs oNce dErE bUt nOw gOnE cAn b sO pAinfUL yEt hAPpy~ i tOt aNd tOt dEn dEcidEd tt itS timE to lEt gO~ hOw cAn i b stAyiNg at whErE i aM nOw? aLways liviNg in misEry? sO...mOvE oN wiF lifE! cOz its mY lifE...i shOuld b mOre cLeAr dEn aNyone eLsE oN wAd i wAn tO dO wiF it! yEs...thE pAst iS thE pAst...its timE tO lEt gO~

rMb a sAyiNg? "dOn cRy bcOz its ovEr...sMiLe bcOz it hAppEnEd~" yEh yiNg...u shOuldn't b uPsEt tt evErythiNg is ovEr...cOz dEep dOwn iN uR hEart u r v cLeAr tT it hAs oncE hAppEnEd~ sO chEer uP! i usEd diS tActic ovEr aNd ovEr agAin...i hOpE it wOrks diS timE..i rELi hOpE it wOrks~ nOw...wEn i fEeL v alOnE aNd wEn i fEeL likE cRyiNg...i eithEr bUry mYsELf intO wOrk oR sLEep...sO tt mY brAin wUn gEt tOo aCtivE aNd stArts to thiNk agAin...

i wAs stAriNg oUt tHrgH thE wiNdOw...i sAw thE clEar, blUe sKy aNd thE flOck oF biRds fLyiNg hOmE~ i sAw clOuds...i fELt thE wiNd~ iF i wErE tO diE...cAn i stiLL gEt tO eXpEriEncE aLL diS tiNgs? i cAn't...aNd i wAn tO expEriEnce aLL diS tiNgs~ i cAn't diE nOw...i wAn tO eXpEriEncE mY owN lifE! i sAw mYsLEf diSappEariNg frOm thE grOup phOtOs tT mY frEns tOok...dO i wAn tO disAppEar frOm thiEr livEs tOo? i dOn...

thE 2 pErsOn tt hELpEd mE tOt it tHrgh diS timE wAs aMandA & cLairE~ yA...wEn i tOt abOut wAd aMandA diD wiF hEr aCtiOns...i criEd~ wEn i tOt aBt wAd cLaire sAid...i cRiEd tOo~ thAnk yOu tO the bOth of yOu...aNd mY tEn flOwErs fOr gUidiNg mE tHrgh diS timE...thAnk yOu...

*gOnE*

thE rAin tT w0ke mE uP...
Saturday, July 23, 2005, 2:03 PM
wAd iS it? aNgEr? avOidAncE? diShEartEn? fEar? diS r the tOts tt rAn tHrgH mY miNd fOr sEvErAl dAys~ wAd mAdE yOu likE diS? i seArchEd aNd sEarchEd fOr aN aNs...bUt i cOuldn't fiNd it~ in rEtUrn...i cOuld oNLy vEnt thE qUestiOns tT i hAd aNd thE aNs i cOuldn't fiNd oN mYsELf~ sOmEhOw...thE pAin tt i iNfLictEd oN mYsELf divErtEd mY attEntiOn awAy frOm thE prObLEms tT i fAcE...it mAdE mE fEel bEttEr~ bUt dErE wAs nO sOlutiOn...aNd it oNLy hUrt mE mOrE...

lOokiNg bAck at wAd i hAf dOnE to mYsELf...i cOuldn't hELp bUt sAy im stUpid~ aT tt pOint in timE...i wAsn't rAtiOnAL...sO i cAn oNLy dEpEnd oN othErs tO giF mE aDvicEs aNd tO rELy oN tHiEr hELp tO sAvE mE~ bUt i nEvEr rEalisEd tT wAd i diD tO mYsELf hUrt evEryonE arOund mE...thE wOrds tT tHy sAy aNd thE tiNgs tT tHy diD tO hELp mE wAs sO uNcLeAr at tT pOint in timE...bUt nOw...evErytiNg sEems sO cLeAr~ aLL diS timE...i tOt i wAs sUffEriNg alOnE~ bUt i diNt rEalisEd tT i pUllEd evEryonE dOwn wiF mE! i wAs sELfiSh...fAr tOo sELfiSh~ i jUz sEemEd tO pUsh awAy thE cArE & cOncErn tT tHy gAf mE...aNd i tOld mYsELf tT i cAn hAndLe dEm aLL bY mYsELf! bUt in aCtuAl fAct...i cOuldn't~

nOw...wEn evErytiNg cOmEs tO a stAndstiLL aRubtLy...i wAs jErkEd awAkE~ hAf i wOkEn uP? yEs...i diD~ diD evErythiNg sEems cLearEr nOw? it diD...diD u rEgrEt dOing diS tO uRsELf? yEs ...i diD~ cOz i mAdE everyonE sUffEr...nOt jUz mE alOnE~ i cAusEd dEm tO bLamE dEmsElvEs fOr wAd hAppEnEd aNd i addEd bUrdEns to tHier oncE pEacEfUL livEs~ mAyb iF tHy diDn't mEt mE oR iF iM gOnE frOm tHiEr livEs...tHy wOuldn't hAf sO mUch prObLEms nOw~ sincE i aDdEd aLL diS unhAppinEss tO thiEr livEs...i shOuld b tAking dEm awAy~ cOz im rEsPonsibLe fOr it...

rEstiNg fOr diS fEw dAys mAdE mY tOts cLeArEr...it mAdE mY miNd cLeArEr~ aNd at lEast i cAn tiNk prOpErly aNd stArt tO tiNk oF wAd tO dO tO sAlvagE thE whOle sitUatiOn...hAf i grOwn uP? aM i mOre sEnsibLe? i dUnnO...lEt timE prOvE evErytiNg...

[[ i hOpE diS sUddEn rAin wAkEs mE uP...aNd i hOpE it wakEs yOu uP tOo... ]]

iM s0 crAzy...
Tuesday, July 19, 2005, 10:25 PM
tOdAy is prObabLy thE wOrst dAy oF mY LifE...

i cAn nEvEr gEt ovEr it aLL bY mYsELf...i nEed sOmethiNg tO fAll bAck oN~ sOmEthiNg tO sUppOrt mE wEn i fEeL likE iM bEiNg pUlled dOwn~ wHerE cAn i gEt tT sUpPort frOm? wEn mY fAmiLy iS in sUch a stAtE...itS dEfiNetLy nOt wisE tO tEL dEm abOut it~ dEn it wOuld b mY frEns...bUt frAnkLy spEakiNg, i dOn wAn dEm tO b affEctEd bY mY mAttErs~ sOonEr or lAtEr...pErhaps i cAn tiNk it tHrUgh by mYsELf...

mAyb iM stUpid tO tiNk of dOing "stUpid tiNgs" wEn i cAnt sEem tO handLe my strEss & emOtiOns...i cAnt giF aNyonE aNy prOmisE tT i wUn dO it agAin~ i nOe hOw my brAin wOrks...oncE thE cOnnEctiOn is fAuLty aNd itS nOt in thE riGht pLacE...dEn it wOuld b gOod byE~ i dOn nOe wAd i wiL dO...tO mYsELf eSp...

uP tiLL nOw..i stiLL cAnt tiNk it tHrgh~ dErE's sMtHg blOckiNg my tOts...i cAnt chAnnEL oUt wAd i wAn tO sAy~ aNd thErE r tOns oF tiNgs stiLL weighiNg in mY miNd tT i cAnt sAy oUt...i cAnt sEem tO tAke thE bUrdEn awAy...cOz it cOmes bAck agAin & agAin! i dOn nOe wAd tO dO nOw...iN sCh & at hOmE...i fEel sO oUt oF pLacE! i dOn nOe wHerE i belOng...dEatH is nOt thE sOlutiOn? dEn wAd is it...

i hUimiLAtE mYsELf in sCh tOdAy by dOing tOo mUch stUpid tiNgs! i dOn fEeL likE attEndiNg sCh aNymOrE...im sUch a diSgrAcE tO evEryonE i nOe~ i nOe tT onE dAy...bcOz oF sUch a stAtE i aM iN...mY frEns wiLL lEavE mE!mY fAmiLy wiLL lEavE mE! whO wiLL wAn tO hAf a mad frEn bY thiEr sidE? a mAd dAughtEr? a mAd siStEr? NOONE! i fEeL tT iM a diSgrAcE...im sOrry tO aLL mY frEns! eSp thE tEn flOwErs...no wOrds cAn dEscRibE mY grAtitUdE tO aLL oF yOu...

aMandA & cLairE...tHx fOr bEiNg wiF mE fOr thE whOle dAy...

i cAn't tAke it aNymOrE...i dUnnO wAd i wiLL dO nExt nOw...mAyb gO intO hidiNg or sMtHg?

*hAiz*

wAd aM i?
Monday, July 18, 2005, 8:21 PM
shE's aN aNgEL, iM a dEviL...

shE's thE clOuds in thE skY, iM thE diRt in thE grOund...

shE's tHe stArs in thE vELvEt sKy, iM thE wOrms in thE niGhtsOiL...

shE's thE nObLe pRincEss, iM thE hUmbLe sErvAnt...

shE's evErythiNg, iM nOthiNg...

tELL mE wAd aM i?

a nEw chAptErs uNfOlds in frOnt of mE evErydAy...bUt wAd i c iS eNtirELy diFfErEnt frOm wAd u aLL c~ wAd i fEeL is oSo diFfErEnt frOm aLL oF yOu~ mY pErspEctivE hAs chAngEd...aNd whO mAdE mE fEeL diS wAy? YOU! it miGht sEems wiErd...bUt thE stOry iN mY evErydAy LifE is thE sAmE~ evEn thOugh a nEw chAptEr uNfOlds...the cOntEnts r thE sAmE...wAd i c, fEeL aNd hEar is thE sAmE...

i shAll hELp mYsELf uP wEn i fAll...

i shAll wipE mY oWn tEars wEn i cRy...

i shAll leArn tO stAnd tAll aNd strOng...

i shAll cLiNg ontO mYsELf fOr sUppOrt...

i shAll dEpEnd oN mYsELf...

cOz tT's the oNLy tiNg i hAf nOw...

[[ lEarn tO acCept thE rEalitY aNd hidE frOm it wiF thE mAsk u wEar evErydAy... ]]

i hAtE aLL 0f y0u...
Sunday, July 17, 2005, 6:47 PM
i hAtE aLL oF yOu! nOthiNg eLsE mAttErs aNymOrE...i jUz siMpLy hAtE aLL oF yOu! dOn tOk tO mE wiF fAkE sMiLes pLastErEd oN yOur fAcEs! thE mOst iMpOssibLe niGhtmArE hAs hAppEnEd~ drAiniNg awAy thE oNLy eNErgy i stiLL hAf...y diD diS niGhtmArE hAf tO strikE? iS it tO atOnE fOr thE siNs i'vE cOmmitEd iN mY 17 yRs oF LifE? nvM...i shAll lEt diS niGhtmArE drAiN awAy evErythiNg withiN mE...mAy i bE bLEssEd wiF thE pOwEr oF eviL~ sincE i hAf sEen tOo mUch eviL...it wOuld bE grEat tO b pArt oF dEm~ dEstrOyiNg evEry siNgLe lifEfOrm!

laUghtEr, jOkEs, hApPinEss? SHIT! ALL DIS R PLAIN SHIT...frOm nOw oN, dErE shAll oNLy b tEars, sAdnEss, dEprEssiOn iN mY LifE! dOn tRy tO tOk mE oUt oF it...dOn evEn tRy! hUmAns? tHEy migHt lOok pLaiN aNd innOcEnt...bUt dEep bEnEatH dEm arE tOns oF emOtiOns aNd tOts tT u nEvEr nOe! hAtrEd slOwLy dEvElOps bcOz oF lOve...tOo mUch lOve!
sO gEt awAy nOw! dOn lEt lOve dEstrOy yOu...lEt hAtrEd cOnsUmEs yOu!

i aM eviL! sO stAy awAy...dOn cOmE clOse! y aM i eviL? cOz hUmans r eViL...evEryonE is eviL! iNclUdiNg yOu aNd mE...evEn yOu! yOu dOn evEn wOrth a cEnt oF mY pitY! sO gEt lOst...lEt mE gUess? u mUz b sMiLiNg, lUffiNg, lEtting hAppinEss cOnsUmEs yOu? dEn eNjOy! im sUre u wOuld b likE mE onE dAy...wAlkiNg tO thE eNd oF thE rOad...rEalisiNg tT evEry siNgLe hUmAn bEiNgs r jUz fAkE! pLaiN fAkE...dErE's nO lOve iN diS wOrld! nOt aNymOrE...

sO...giF mE uR hAnd aNd lEt me takE u awAy tO hEar thE sOunds oF eviL...tO eXpEriEncE eviL! cOmE wiF mE...

diScLAimEr
thE abOve pAssAge is wRittEn tO vEnt oUt aLL mY fUstrAtiOns~ it dEpEnds oN yOur wAy tO lOok at tiNgs...tO c wHethEr wAd i wrotE oUt is trUe oR iS it jUz anOthEr siMpLe blOg eNtRy tO lEt mE vEnt oUt wAd i fEeL...

[[ i lOst thE trUst in evEryoNe arOund mE... ]]

thE t0uch 0f y0ur hAnd...
Friday, July 15, 2005, 9:57 PM
thE teArs oF thE sKy fELL to thE grOund...pUlliNg mE dOwn wiF it~ yEs! thE sKy iS cRyiNg...it cRiEd fOr a lOng lOng timE tOdAy...mAkiNg mE fEeL kiNdA sOlEmn & dEprEssEd~ rAiNy wEathErs owAys mAdE mE fEeL diS wAy...i lOvE it wEn it rAiNs! cOz i lOve thE cAlmnEss tT it bRiNgs~ bUt sOmEtimEs...diS cAlmnEss miGht rEsUlt in sOmEthiNg wOrsE...DEPRESSION! rAiny wEathErs cOuld mAkE a pErSOn dEprEssEd...bUt itS nOt thE mAiN ingrEdiEnt! itS thE rAiny wEathEr + prObLems tT rEsUlts iN dEprEssiOn...wAd thE fArk aM i tOkiNg abOut? hAhAz...

i tiNk thE fAmiLy is cOmiNg apArt...dAy bY dAy, Bit bY bit~ mY mUm rEsignEd frOm hEr wOrk dUe to sOmE prObLEms aNd dADdy's hEaltH iS dEtEoriAtiNg~ mY dAd cAmE iNtO mY rOom jUz nOw aNd hE's eyEs wAs sO swOllEn! uNtiL hE cAnt evEn c prOpErLy...i AskEd hiM "y diNt u c a dOc?" hE rEpLiEd "cOz i dOn hAf thE mOnEy!" hE's takiNg pAinkiLLErs evErydAy tO eAsE thE pAin... *siGhs* lOokiNg at hiM likE diS...i fEEL thE pAin tOo~ hiS eyEs bEcAmE likE diS dUe to wOrk...hE cOmEs intO cOntact wiF thE smOkE & cArbOn mOnOxidE tOo mUch dUriNg wOrk...rEsUltiNg iN hiS swOllEn eyEs! *hAiz* aNd hE qUarrELs wiF mY mUm fAr tOo mUch...i cant stAnd it! thE hOusehOld incOmE hAs gOt sEriOus prObLEms...tELL mE! whO cAn hELp? =(

aNd tT niGhtmArE iS cOmiNg bAck...tT niGhtmArE in rEality! it sEems tO slOwly bOund mE tiGhtLy oncE mOrE...hOw cAn mY hAppy mOmEnts lAst? hOw cAn it lAst...iF oNly it lAst fOrevEr...fOrevEr aNd evEr~ whO cAn shOw mE thE wAy?

[[ thE tOuch oF uR hAnd mAdE mY hEart mElt oncE mOrE... ]]

stAndiNg bY...((:
Thursday, July 14, 2005, 8:21 PM
i wAs wOndEriNg wHethEr tO sAy oUt thE trUtH anOt...aNd i diD! evEryonE hAs thE riGht tO nOe abOut wAds hAppEniNg~ aNd fUrthUrmOrE...i cAn't hidE aNythiNg frOm hEr~ i wOuld fEeL gUiLty iF i diD! =/ at fiRst...i wAntEd tO giF hEr a siMpLe hiNt at wAd is hAppEniNg...cOz i diNt wAn hEr mOod tO b affEctEd bY it~ bUt i hAd tO sAy it oUt...i jUz wAn evEryonE tO nOe tT i wiLL stAnd bY hEr nO mAttEr wAd hAppEns...cOz i cAn't hELp it~ shE's mY frEn...

pEopLe sAy "hAPpy mOmEnts dOn lAst" bUt i hOpE tt minE cAn lAst...iN thE pAst, jUz wEn evErythiNg sEems pErfEctLy finE aNd wELL...sOmEtHing drAstic wOuld hAppEn~ wAd abOut diS timE? wOuld it stiLL bE likE diS? i hOpE it dOesn't...i hOpE evErythiNg wiLL cArry oN hAppiLy fOrevEr...iM hAPpy wiF mY LifE nOw~

iM 100% sUrE tT iM gOing tO fLuNk mY mAtHs tEst...iM sO dEmOrAlisEd! *siGhs* i wAnnA wOrk hArd...i rELi wAn tO! tML wOuld b mY O LevEL chinEsE ListEniNg! sO fAst ritE? thE orAls r jUz ovEr aNd nOw wAd? thE listEniNg! diS is crAzy! hAiz...aNd tML i nEed tO hAnd uP my fOlio aNd alOt oF dEm r nOt dOnE yEt! i gOttA rUsh tHgh it lAtEr...*aRghz*

iM wAtchiNg jUe dUi sUpErstAr nOw!aNd i lOve wEi jiAn! dErriCk hO wEi jiAn...=)

diS is hOw hE lOoks~

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votE fOr hiM! ((:

i kiNdA likE jUnyAng & wEiLiAn oSo!


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sO...votE fOr dEm oSo!


[[ i dOn trUst wAd shE sAid abOut hEr...cOz i tRust hEr! ]]

mUMmy...i l0ve y0u!
Wednesday, July 13, 2005, 10:29 PM
iM wOkEd uP fEeLiNg piSsEd ofF iN thE mOrniNg aNd endEd uP fEELiNg gUiLty at thE eNd oF thE dAy...wHy? it aLL stArtEd oFf diS mOrniNg wEn mY mUm wOkEd mE uP a littLe lAtEr dEn usuAl...aNd bcOz oF diS...i fELt pisSed oFf~ cOz i cAn't affOrd tO b lAtE aNymOrE iF nOt i wiLL gEt a fOrm...=/ bcOz oF diS...i vEntEd aLL mY aNgEr oN mY mUm~ aNd i jUz wEnt oFf tO sCh...

oN thE wAy tO sCh...i wAs sUpRisiNgLy VERY PISSED OFF! tT iNclUdEd bEiNg piSsEd oFf bY EVERYONE I SAW! frOm thE bUs uNcLe tO the pAssEngErs iN thE mRt...EVERYONE I MET! i fELt sUpEr aNgRy...i wAs prAticAlly cUrsing EVERYONE I MET oN mY wAy tO sCh tOdAy~ wiErd hOr? bUt i jUz fELt sUpEr aNgRy...mY aNgEr oNLy siMmErEd a littLe aFt i rch sCh aNd it wAs gOnE bY thE eNd oF thE dAy...

wEn i rCh hOmE...i sAw a nOtE oN mY stUdy dEsk...it rEads :

Ni Yi jiNg zhAng dA Le, Ni yAo zHi Ji zhAo gU zHi Ji,
cOng miNg tiAn zhAo shAng Qi, wO bU hUi zAi jiAo Ni Qi chUAng,
Ni zHi Ji bAo zhOng bA. Ni hEn liNg wO sHi wAng, shAng xiN.

it wAs wRittEn bY mY mUm aNd i nOticEd...tT dErE wAs TEARDROPS ON THE PAPER~
shE mUst hAf fELt rELi sAd aNd diSappOintEd...*siGhs* i diNt mEant tO hUrt hEr sO mUch dE! bcOz oF diS...i cRiEd! mY mUm is nOt thOse typE oF pEopLe whO wiLL wRitE sUch nOtes tO thiEr dAughtErs dE...shE nEvEr diD diS b4! itS hEr first timE...shE mUz haf bEen rELi rELi rELi uPsEt...tT's y shE wrOte tT! bcOz oF diS...I FELT GUILTY...SO GUILTY!

mUMmy...iM sO sOrry! shAll trEat u bEttEr frOm nOw oN! so sOrry...*i lOvE yOu*

aNd yEs...m0ey sUcks! =)
Tuesday, July 12, 2005, 8:24 PM
mOEy sUcks! mOEy sUcks! mOey sUcks! a cOoL wAy tO bEgiN mY bLog eNtRy yA? lOlx..iF uR wOndEriNg whO's mOey dEn Let mE tELL yOu...hE's thE PEST OF 5F! JULIAN MOEY JIE WEN! aNd yEs~ HE SUCKS! hE's bAsicAlly a SUCKER whO gOes arOund tELLiNg tALes oF mE bUt nO onEs bELievE hiM! u nOe y? cOz hE's UNPOPULAR~ sAd aR...bUt u gOtta accEpt the fAct tT u r UNPOPULAR bcOz u r sUch an iDiOt/sUckEr/fUckEr/chEe-byE kiA/mOrOn/aSshOLe/frEak/siCko...gEt it? u mUz hAf bEen V HAPPY since i scOldEd U likE sHit tOdAy...U ARE SIMPLY WORTHLESS...=) u shAll bE hAviNg diS kiNd oF LifE tiLL the eNd oF diS yR...pLEnty tO cOmE~ dUn wOrry! wAhAhAz!

aLL oF yOu mUz b wOndEriNg y i dEtEst diS gUy sO mUch ritE? cOz hE tEll tAlEs abOut mE~ cAllEd mE nAmEs in frOnt oF hiS siStEr sO hE shOuld b trEatEd likE diS~ lOlx...aNywAy, gErlAdinE...hopE yOu dOn miNd~ =) im gOing tO stArt work aFt mY dinNEr~ i shAll wOrk rELi rELi rEli hArd~ lOlx...

mY orAls r ovEr! hAhAz...mY OrAls wAs ytD aNd i wAs qUitE hApi wif it frankLy! i jUz hOpE thE exAminEr wUn mArk mE dOwn...=/ thE dAy wAs prEtty siMpLe tOdAy...cLairE aNd mE hAd lUnch at thE bUbbLe tEa shOp at jUbiLeE...thE rEst oF thE flOwErs wEnt fOr thier orAls wHiLe sOmE wEnt hOmE...sO it wAs thE 2 oF uS! hAhAz...gOod lUck tO aLL mY frEns whO r tAkiNg thiEr O LevEL orAls~ dOn pAnic! gO fOr it...=)

aNd yOu! u sEem tO b likE avOidiNg mE? wAd fOr? *hAiz* u rEfUsEd tO sit wiF mE dUring lEssOns aNd u r sO...diFfErEnt! iF i dOn evEr attEmpt tO tOk tO u agAin...cAn wE stiLL tOk frEely iN mSn lik hOw wE diD lAst timE...nvM~ i don miNd aNywAy...iM hAppy wiF mY cUrrEnt lifE...bUt iM jUz kiNdA scArEd tT tiNgs wiLL gO bAck tO hOw it wAs thE othEr timE! i dOn wAnnA stEp intO mY owN dimEnsiOn agAin...=/

[[ cAn u hEar the sOund oF sOmEthiNg brEakiNg? itS mY hEart... ]]

t0ns 0f piCturEs~ =)
Saturday, July 09, 2005, 4:08 PM
nO blOggiNg fOr tOdAy~

jUz piCturEs~

lOlx...

pLeNty oF dEm~

hErE tHEy arE...=)

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[[ 5F 2005 rOcks~ ]]

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[[ i lOve mOi clAss 5F...=) ]]

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[[ thE giRLs oF 5F... ]]

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[[ thE fOrmidAbLe fLowErs~ =) ]]

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[[ cOrEen & mE~ lOok at hEr dyEd hAir! tSk tSk...hEex... ]]

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[[ dEwEi & thE fOrmidAbLe flOwErs~ =) ]]

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[[ sChOoL giRLs~ tAkE nOtE! iM nOt in the piC cOz i tOok diS piCturE~ =) ]]

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[[ xiAng jiE & mE~ wO sHi tA bEi huO dE nU rEn...=P ]]

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[[ mE chAsiNg yilOng~ hE's mY riCh hUsbAnd! lOlx... ]]

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[[ aH hA~ whO's diS? itS mE! pOintiNg fUck yOu tO *niU mO wAng* u sUcks... ]]

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[[ mE & mDm wOng~ shE's gUan yiN wHiLe iM gUitAr giRL! =P ]]

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[[ fOrmidAbLe flOwErs wiF mDm wOng! wE rOck! ]]

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[[ tEn flOwErs~ *fOndEst sEcOndAry sCh dAy mEmOriEs* =) ]]

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[[ flOwErs scOldiNg bAd wOrds...hAhAz~ =P ]]

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[[ eiLEen & mE~ *shE's mY lAopO* =) ]]

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[[ lOok at thE wAy i eAt! *yUcks*...siQi iS cAmErA sHy~ lOlx... ]]

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[[ wE arE rELi hUNgRy! hEex... ]]

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[[ lOok at hOw hAPpy cLairE iS! cOz we kiSsEd hEr...=) ]]

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[[ oUr wAtEr...hEex... ]]

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[[ diS iS a snEak shOt! aManda tOok it w/o me knOwiNg...lOlx! ]]

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[[ iM gEttiNg mArriEd~ DUH! thE vEiL iS cLairE's wrAppiNg pApEr...hAhA~ ]]

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[[ lOok at wAd cLairE & siQi iS pOintiNg tO mY hEad...-.-'' hAhAz... ]]

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[[ LetS kiSs cLairE agAin~ * mUaCks* to dA bdAy girL...=) ]]

spEnt 1 hR plUs uPloAdiNg aLL diS...AND MY HOMEWORK R NOT EVEN DONE YET!

*pOof*

mY hEart hUrts...
Friday, July 08, 2005, 4:09 PM
aH hA~ sUpRisEd tO c mE blOg sO eArLy tOdAy? lOlx...i diNt wEn sCh tOdAy mA~ fELt a littLe siCk + tirEd aNd i wAsn't in thE mOod fOr sChOoL tOdAy~ hAhAz...mY pOa oSo hAbEn dO fiNish yEt dEn sOmEmOre tOdAy nEed tO hAnd uP! sO nv gO lOr~ tOdAy oSo nOt mUch lEssOns mA...bUt i diNt rELi wAn tO miSs dNt thOugh...=/

i wAs dAmn tirEd diS whOle wK aNd i sLpt rELi lAtE almOst everynitE...abOut 2aM - 4aM~ i owAys sLp dUring diS timE~ diS cAnnOt dO~ mUz sLp eArLiEr cOz nOt hEALtHy! iM gOing tO slOwLy chAnge mY dAiLy sLpiNg timEtAbLe liaOx...=) dErE's tOns oF thiNgs tO b dOnE...HOMEWORK! hOw hOw? im sO slAcky...gOtta bUck uP aNd stArt wOrk sOon! sOmEmOre mOn wiLL b mY O LvL mT orAL Le...*scArEd*

ytD wAs cLairE's bdAy! hAhAz...it wAs a v fUn dAy indEed! wE cELebrAtEd fOr hEr dUring rEcEss aNd aFtEr sCh~ wE cUt thE cakE tT aManda & siQi bOught aNd prEsEntEd hEr wiF a flOwEr~ lOlx...wE oSo askEd the bOys in nA tO siNg a bdAy sOng fOr hEr togEthEr wiF uS~ cAn c tt shE eNjOyEd hersELf v mUch~ dEn aFt sCh...wE wEnt tO cAfe cArtEL to eAt~ aMandA & sHipiNg bEri gUai lAn~ instEad oF tAking a bUs tOgEthEr wiF uS...tHy wEnt & tOok thE mRt~ hAhAz...dEn wE mEt at J8 lOr~ thE fOod at cAfE cArteL wAs qUitE oK~ evErythiNg oSo sELf-sErvicE~ i dUn likE niA...so mA fAn! hAhAz...tOoks lOads oF piCs aNd hAd alOt oF fUn dErE...wiLL uPloAd thE piCs aFtEr cLairE sEnd dEm tO mE~ hAhAz...bUt shE aBit slOw dE...sO mAyb mUz wAit lOr! =P we wAtchEd iNitiAL D aFtEr tT...aNd oH mAn! wAs aSp aNd bUi excitEd~ bUi kEpt kiCkiNg aMaNdA's chAir aNd i cAn hEaR squEuLiNg wiF eXcitEment~ shE kEpt sAying tT JAY LOOKS LIKE TECK JIN! its the fAct lA...hAhAz~ aNd ASP PULLED MY HAIR WEN JAY AND THE LEADING ACTRESS KISSED! it wAs sO pAinfUl lOr...-.- wE shOppEd aRnd aFt thE shOw aNd aFt tT we wEnt hOme Le...HAPPY 17TH BDAY CLAIRE! *mUaCks*

tiNgs sEems tO b bEttEr for diS few dAys~ bUt mY hEarT is aCtuAlly bLeEding oSo...bcOz oF HIM~ itS nOt xiAng jiE bUt anOthEr gUy lOr~ tT idiOt kEpt tELLing mE abOut hOw mUch hE likEs a gEr aNd hOw mUch hE wAns to jiO hEr aNd stufFs likE tT~ bUt dEre r alOt of prObs tT is prEvEntiNg HIM FROM HOLDING HER HAND aNd hE aSkEd mE fOr aDvice oN hOw tO sOlvE dEm~ i hAf tO pUt uP aN aCt...tELLiNg him tO jiO hEr at aLL cOst aNd nEvEr tO giF uP oN hEr wEn mY hEart hUrts...i diNt nOe tT it wOuld hUrt tT mUch...i diNt nOe~ =(

i oSo tOok somE piCs in sCh~ wiLl uPdAtE wEn pOssibLe~ hEex...

[[ wOndEriNg wHethEr diD i miSsEd oUt on aNythiNg intErEsting in sCh tOdAy... ]]

mEm0riEs tt n0onE cAn tAkE awAy...
Tuesday, July 05, 2005, 11:01 PM
yEstErdAy nitE...i rEad tHrgH aLL mY frEnstEr tEstimOnALs~ dEn it strUck mE oN hOw mUch i hAf chAngEd~ mOst oF mY frEns cOmmEntEd tT i wAs a FUNNY aNd CHEERFUL pErsOn aNd tt i cAn NEVER FAIL TO MAKE A PERSON SMILE...bUt lOok at mE nOw~ iM nOt fUnNy aNymOrE...nEithEr aM i chEerfUL~ i'vE bEcOmE v dEprEssEd aNd sOlEmn...aNd instEad oF mAkiNg othErs sMiLe...i nEed otHers tO makE mE sMiLe~ wAd thE hELL is wrOng wiF mE? i gOttA chAngE bAck tO hOw i uSEd tO b...

sO tOdAy...wEn i gOt tO sCh...i triEd tO b NORMAL~ luFf, iRritAtE, shOut...i triEd aLL diS wAys...aNd i tiNk it wAs qUitE sUccEssfUL~ lOlx...at lEast, iM nOt in dEprEssiOn mA~ bUt...i rELi cOuldn't tAkE it dUriNg assEmbLy...mY tEars stArtEd flOwiNg agAin~ cOz my hEart fEeLs sOur aNd hEavy...i nEed tO cRy~ i nEed tO rElievE somE oF thE strEss tT hAs bEen aCcumAlAtEd in mE~ aNd aFtEr cRyiNg...i fELt bEttEr~ mUch bEttEr...

mAyb thiNgs wiLL nEvEr b hOw it wAs in the pAst...

mAyb tiNgs has gOttEn wOrsE...

mAyb diS wOuld b thE tUrniNg pOint oF oUr livEs...

bUt who cArEs?

i gOt thE mEmOriEs...

aNd tHy wiLL stAy wiF mY fOrevEr~

i hAf lEarn to accEpt thE fAct~ bUt im NOT GIVING UP! i wiLL tRy mY bEst tO mEnd thE bitS aNd piEcEs togEthEr~ dEre miGht b crAcks aNd scArs...bUt iF dErE is a sliGhtEst chAnce tO mEnd it tOgEthEr...i wiLL~ aNd evEn iF it takEs a thOusAnds wAy...I WILL!

sO lOng nO uPdAtEs oF mY fAcE Le~ lOlx...hErE r mY piCs! =)

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[[ tAkEn b4 gOing tO tOwn~ mOst rEcEnt piC! ((: ]]

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[[ tAkEn aFtEr a hAircUt~ biG biG eyEs hOr? =P ]]

*gOnE*



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