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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
i wUn cArE aNym0re...
Friday, July 01, 2005, 10:06 PM
iM a hUmAn...i hAf fEeLiNgs aNd thOughts~ i cAn c wAd is hAppEniNg, fEeL wAd is happEniNg aNd hEar wAd is hAppEniNg arOund mE evErydAy...bE it at hOmE oR iN sCh~ i wAs sO tirEd bOth pHysicAlly aNd mEntAlly tT i iMmEdiAtELy pLop dOwn oN mY bEd tO sLp oncE i rCh hM frOm sCh tOdAy~ i sLpt fOr 5 hRs...aNd i hAd alOt oF drEams~ i rMb tT sOmE oF dEm r hAppy onEs wHiLe thE rEst mAdE mE cRy wEn iM sLpiNg...sOmetimEs...i hOpE i cAn nEvEr wAkE uP aNd jUz sLp fOrEvEr...

wAds sO nicE abOut bEiNg dEprEssEd? nOonE likEs bEiNg dEprEssEd...iM fEeL thE sAme wAy tOo~ bUt sOmEtimEs...itS hArd tO drAw uRsELf bAck frOm bEing dEprEssEd wEn u hAf sO mUch prObLEms iN uR LifE~ pUt uRsELf iN my shOes...oNLy dEn cAn u fEeL wAd i fEeL~ iF u wErE tO gO tO sCh...fAcE thE sAmE prObLEms evErydAy aNd wEn u gO hOmE...fAce the sAmE prObLEms evErydAy agAin...bit bY bit...u wiLL bE exActLy likE mE~ itS jUz mAttEr oF timE oNLy...sOonEr oR lAtEr...i wiLL brEakdOwn aNd i wUn bE aBLe tO takE it aNymOrE...

thE prObLeMs hAf aLwAys bEen dErE...thE miSundErstAndiNgs r oSo dErE~ itS jUz tT wE dUn rAkE uP the prObLEms aNd lEavE it LyiNg stiLL in thE sAnd...bUt oncE thE wiNds stArts bLowiNg...thE sAnd wiLL oNcE agAin rEvEaL thE prObLEms aNd thY wiLL eMeRgE oncE mOrE~ i hAf chAngEd...aNd i wUn bE aBLe tO bE chAngEd bAck~ dOn expEct tOo mUch frOm mE aNd wAns mE tO bE hOw i uSEd tO bE~ cOz i hAf chAngEd...

u hAtE mE? u likE mE? actUally...i dUn rELi cArE aNymOrE~ nOt bcOz i dUn wAn tO cArE...its bcOz i dOn hAf thE enErgy tO cArE aNymOrE~ wEn mY mUm scOlds mE...i jUz siMpLy shUt uP~ sO abnOrmAL of mE ritE? bUt shE jUz cOntinUes scOldiNg aNd scOldiNg...aNd shE gEts evEn aNgriEr...wAd dOes shE wAn? wEn i rEtOrt...shE scOlds~ wEn i shUt uP...shE oSo scOlds~ thE wOrds tT she usEs r nOt nOrmAl wOrds a mUm wiLL usE oN hEr cHiLd...bUt i dUn cArE~
wEn i luFf...iM actUally cRyiNg~ wEn i cRy...iM actUally luFfiNg...crAzy ritE? like biAn tAi ritE...i dUn cArE~

iM jUz a wAlkiNg zOmbiE...

iM jUz aN eMpty nUt shELL...

[[ i rEad a pErsOn's blOg frOm mY sCh...nOT many pPL likEs hEr~ bUt hEr tOts aNd fEeLiNgs r v siMiLAr tO minE thOugh oUr sitUatiOns r diFfErEnt...]]



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