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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
dead among the living.
Thursday, August 25, 2005, 8:12 PM
i dunno wad came over me. i juz simply dunno wads wrong wif me. all of a sudden, i felt sad and angry. noone made tt happen, i did. i became angry and sad out of nothing? im reli an emotional wreck. im sick in the mind and im defintely crazy. if dis affects me only, den its alright. but my mood is contagious, it somehow manage to affect the moods of the ppl arnd me. well, i dunno wad to say except for sorry. sorry for acting wierdly today and sorry for not being myself. i tink i reli haf an attitude problem? hmms. i will go c a doctor i guess. coz i feel tt im sick in the mind wen i become like tt.

on the quiet journey home, i saw lynnda at the busstop. we had a nice chat and den she went hm. later, i saw huiqi and i went hm wif her. huiqi said tt i haf changed. she said tt in the past, im not like dis. she ask me wad happen to me today? i smiled and said nth. how can i possibly tell her wads wrng wif me wen i don even noe wads wrong wif me? she said tt i can haf a 180 degree change in a v short period of time. one moment i can luff like mad, and the next moment i can b as quiet as a mouse. i can cut myself from the outside world all of a sudden and drop back into the empty hole i feel tt its within me. huiqi missed the old me. she joked tt i should start by meditating coz i used to do tt in the past and now, i don. i told her tt ppl change over time. for me, i tink huiqi is still the same and i admire her for being able to do tt. she says tt sock yee is wierd, jus like me. but i tink im much more wierd den sock yee. its juz tt i don show my wierd tinking smtimes.

u don haf to feel sorry actually. i tink the fault lies wif me. if u feel sorry, den i need to feel even more sorry for making u tink like dis. so im sorry too.

- dead among the living -



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