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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
a quiet day.
Friday, October 07, 2005, 10:51 PM
at first, wen i changed my blogskin a few days ago, i was thinking tt the message tt my current skin is trying to convey is not very apoppriate as it doesn't really suits wad i feel. but i chose it in the end. why? coz it attracted me. it gifs me a v 'attitude' feeling. lols. don u tink so? but nv did i expect tt a few days later, on one fateful day, the theme of dis skin completely describes wad i feel. tt fateful day, is TODAY. hais. how i wish someone can talk to me. being silent is really a hard ting to bear. but, no one seems to take note of it. no one seems to noe tt it's suffocating me.

look at my results for my prelims and you will noe how much i have dropped. it's like falling from heaven to hell. one yr ago, i was at the top and now, i haf fallen into hell. mayb, u might tink tt it's stupid to keep whining and sobbing over wad is already done. u might tink tt the right ting to do now, is to stand up from the fall and to start on amending what can be amended. but can i juz let it out abit before i start to do wad i should b doing? looking at how everyone is preparing for the last rap of the run, i feel that i'm lagging so much far behind. sighs. i noe tt at a time like dis, noone would haf the time to stop by to ask me to take part in the run. i noe. at a time like dis, other den to start preparing and doing my best, there is nth i can actually do. tt should b the only ting tt is on my my mind now. to gif my best shot and to do my best. but the question is, can i do it? i guess only i have the ans to it.

i haf been pretty ill for dis couple of days. i was actually feeling better yesterday alr. but dunno y, it started to get worse dis morning. i felt out of breath and my heart seems to be pumping v fast. the worse ting was tt wen my head started to spin, i couldn't even seem to keep my balance. i felt reli tired too. i feel like coming to a stop to take a rest. aft i rched hm, i went to bed and slpt for about 6 hrs. and now, i still feel tired. hais. i din talk much today too. i juz feel like shutting myself from the outside world for a while, to come to a stop and to take a rest before moving on. probably bcoz of dis, i can't seem to stand the silence i feel everytime and wen laughter breaks into the silence, i just feel like walking away.

ALONE. dis word suits me more than anything else. i noe tt at a crucial time like dis, the last ting i need now is distractions. wad i need now, is full concentration.

- the silence is killing me. -



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