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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
an unmeaningful bday.
Thursday, October 27, 2005, 2:00 AM
the time now is 2 am. 2 hrs haf passed since my bday. i received several msgs that are sent from my frens, blessing and greeting me with all thier heartfelt wishes. i waited and waited. for 2 entire hours i was waiting for smthg that never came. it's just 2 hrs and i couldn't take it. how am i suppose to wait until the very last min of tml? 11.59 pm of 27 oct 2005. do i reli intend to wait until tt v last min before i let my heart stop dead? should i gif up now? wad is supposed to come should haf alr come. u nv managed to fufill wad u promised me like wad u said.

i reli can't take it. several times, i really felt the urge to ask u wad is it. but i choose to calm myself down, telling myself that 'it would come' and that 'you would rmb'. but tt doesnt seems to b the case. with every minute passing by and with time slowly ticking away, i can really feel the energy and hope being drained from my body bit by bit. but i still choose to wait in the end. i did not heed a fren's advice. i din not pick up the fone and ask wad is it tt u wanted to say. i am still waiting and hoping that it will come. scold me stupid for all i care. but i am still hoping and waiting, for tt smthg to come, and i wun gif up till the v last min.

i am really destined to wait, isn't it? in my entire life, i seem to be always waiting. waiting for smthg to happen. hoping for smthg to occur. bit it seems that wad came at the end, is always tragedy. a sadness that rips my heart into two. i haf been thrgh it once, y do i haf to go thrgh it again? i hate tt feeling. i really do. noeing the ans will b wad i expect, i still choose to wait for a miracle to happen. hais. forgive me for being naive. forgive me for being stupid. im sorry. but i still choose to wait.

a person's bday should b happy. it should b memorable. mine? unmeaningful.

thanks for cheering me up, bestie! (=

- waiting and waiting. but what i'm waiting for never came. -



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