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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
so much things have happened.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 2:35 AM
bahs. don't ask me why am i blogging at such an unearthly hour ya? cos i don't know why. lols. it's been quite awhile since i've last came online, and even if i am online, i tend to get a little lazy at the thought of signing in to blogger just to update a new entry, so that explains y my blog is always not very 'up to date'. lols. during this period of time, i can be classified as a 'missing person' when it comes to being online. you can't get to see me online at night cos i'm working at motorola at night. lols. actually, you can't really get to see me being online in the afternoon too, cos i need to slp. don be too sad about it ya? lols. you might be thinking, why the hell am i doing here in the midst of the night when i keep stressing that i'm super busy? it's chinese new yr mahs! motorola won't torture thier workers de. we get a 3 day off during the chinese new yr period! anyway, happy chinese new year to all! =))

you won't know what happened to me in this entire 1 month. some things jus started to pop out of my life out of no where. i'm serious! most of them are good, but they just start to complicate my life. neverthless, i'm still glad they came. everything started on the day of the new yr, 1st jan 2006. on this day, i made up my mind to end what i feel for a very special person in my life. half an hour before the new year came, he hurt me unknowingly. he shouldn't be blamed, of cos he shouldn't be blamed. he didn't know that he hurt me. i should be blamed for my stupidity. i didn't blamed him at all. i swear! but i jus choose to end what i feel for him within me. cos i noe nth happy would come out of this. bcos of this, i choose to ignore the msg that he sent me an hr after the new year came. it was the first time that i choose not to reply. though i wanted to give him up, i gave myself 2 weeks to get him out of my life entirely. actually, i shouldn't phrase it in this way. i should say that the main reason of giving myself a period of two weeks, is bcos i hope that a miracle can happen. i hope that a miracle can happen to change things back to how it used to be.

during this two weeks, i started work at motorola. i met someone who caught my eyes and i couldn't take my eyes away. i have to admit, he is indeed very cute and handsome. but what caught my eyes was not entirely his looks, it was the vibe that i got from him. after getting to know him, i realised that he share a similar resemblance to the person i intend to give up. though they look different, the feeling that they gave me is the same. why would such a thing happen? just wen i wan to forget someone, somebody who shares a resemblance to him jus popped out of no where. though my heart thinks that they are the same, their character indeed has a huge difference. i don't know how to explain the similarities and the differences between the two, it's a feeling that i can't pen down in words. i got closer to this guy i know from work, we go out frequently but i always maintained our relationship as merely FRIENDS. i don't wan't anything to evolve from there. i'm happy with how things are now.

just when the time span of two weeks is almost up, the person that i wan to forget started contacting me again. why? things tend to get a little complicated for me at times. do you know that? luckily, i can control my emotions and the way i think. as long as i don't think that there is a problem, there wouldn't be a problem. there is no need to worry about what choice i have to make, as there is nothing for me to decide upon. the only thing that pops into my head every now and then is that i shall LEAVE EVERYTHING TO FATE and LET MY FEELINGS LEAD THE WAY. somehow, with all this thoughts, my life is much more happier! ((:

well, i have to thank my aunt for giving me a self-improvement book on xmas too! the book is entitled, 'happiness now'. it's a guide to teach you on how to live happily and how to be a happier person. lols. i seriously hope that after reading the entire book, i can live more happily! lols. anyway, i'll try to post up more updates about my life and the pics that i took on new yr day. not forgetting the post on the genting trip! hee.

meanwhile, it's time to hit the pillows! =))

- let fate decide and let my feelings lead the way. -



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