forever twenty-one ;

just feeling pissed.

Friday, February 17, 2006, 2:58 AM

sighs. i'm seriously down now. it's been a long time since i've last felt like that. i was already feeling rotten for the past few days. but i choose to ignore it and stop the sadness from growing. it was going pretty well. i managed to keep my emotions under control and i was able to put up a strong front in front of my friends. but i just kinda breakdown today? hais.

firstly, it was that fucking VALENTINE'S DAY. ( yup! it's the season of love! FUCK OFF CAN? ) couples everywhere. hugging, kissing, whatever fuck la. i wanted to hide at home, hide far away from the crowd. i'm very pathetic ok? i'm spending my 18th year of valentine's day alone. read that big and clear ya? ALONE. so i had to stay at home. shit you if u're luffing at me. i hope all the chocolates and flowers you get has lots of worms in dem! i couldn't escape from this dreadful day as i had to meet lynnda to check out the courses at MDIS. poor me. this day seriously brought down my mood a lot. i hate FEB 14TH. ANTI-VALENTINE!

then, it was this asshole who said that he FORGOT to come out when i asked him out on feb 14th. he said he was too busy and he just plainly FORGOT. what a great excuse! don't wan just say don't wan lar! say forgot! come out with a better excuse can? i would have scolded you like hell if you aren't someone of importance to me. just my luck to fall in love with someone like you. what can i do? ENDURE LARHS. this ass den made me felt a little better by saying that he will meet up with me the next day. so nice of him can? guess wad? IT'S OFF AGAIN. by this time, i am already feeling very miserable ok. why can't you just shut up and go away? might as well don't make any promises cos all you know is how to break them. maybe i'm just too stupid to think it's a promise, when to you, it's just a casual comment. the greatest thing about this ass? he can still ask me "so how?" after so much things had happened. oh ya! he was even much nicer to say "i dunno." wen i asked him back. he's making me really mad. hopping mad to be exact. so what? you don even care. if you aren't important, i wouldn't haven even bothered to be pissed off at you. sighs. don't you ever get it? or are you jus simply avoiding? hais.

bcos of all this, i was in a pretty unstable mood this few days. then, it finally erupted tonight. all in one shot. cool eh? you can see from my msn nick that i was pretty hot-headed. there was lots of FUCK here FUCK there. do i hear someone calling me uncivilised? FUCK OFF. =)) there was frens who really cared. i'm sure i don't haf to mention any names. you know who you are. thanks to all of you. both girls and guys. if i offended you in anyway, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to. but there is one person that i must really say sorry larhs...

CHRIS NG CHONG XING!
( i think he'll get the shock of his life if he ever sees his name in bold in my blog! )

my bad. shouldn't have showed him attitude when he called to talked to me just now. kinda made him pissed off aggain i guess. you're right! i made him pissed off two days ago when he approached me to tell me his problems. i was too sleepy then cos he called when i was sleeping like a log. so i was kinda unwilling to hear him talk? then, he got pissed off. luckily, he didn't bear any grudges then. and as for today, i showed him some really bad attitude cos i was in a rotten mood. wonder is he going to bear grudges with me this time? sighs.

some people can be really NOSEY eh? poking thier stinky butt into other people's business. don't be so kpo can? FUCK OFF LA. go find better things to do la. mayb start milking a cow or smthg? hahahahas! i am so freaking mean! xD

- i ought to get a grip on myself. -