forever twenty-one ;

my dark side.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006, 11:19 PM

aye. as you can see, i've changed my blogskin. it's time to make some changes to this blog i guess. the last time i changed my skin was way before the o levels started. now that the exams are over and the long awaited results are out, it's time to make some changes. hahas. if i'm not wrong, i saved this skin sometime ago. i was thinking of changing a new skin today and was browsing thrgh some skins when i suddenly came across this. i matched it with this soothing melody that i found attached to some other skin. hahas. i ripped it out and matched it with this! perfect ain't it? it gives me a feeling of suspense. makes me feel that life is full of surprises and things are unpredictable. you can never know what it coming around the corner. the road ahead is long and bleak. it seems like you can never know what is coming and what is installed for you at the end as the winding road goes on. but i believe, that the process of travelling down this road will be memorable. =))

i'm currently on a winding road that has several winds and routes for me to choose. i don't know where each route will take me and i don't know what will be waiting for me at the end, but i know that during the process of making a decision and the travel down the winding road, i will learn a lot of things and gain precious memories that will stay with me forever. i know that the journey will be beautiful even if there is a lot of difficulties along the way. the most important thing is, i shall learn from all this and stand up once more. that's the way life is, isn't it? ups and downs are just parts and parcel of a person's life. you learn from your mistakes, not hide from them. =))

the entire two paragraphs i've written are the thoughts i have about my o level results. i know i didn't put in much effort before the exam so i should haf expected the outcome. overall, i might not have done badly, but i know that i'm capable of getting better results. since i couldn't prove it this time round, i shall prove it again when i'm given another chance. i'm no weakling. i shall succeed. amanda is right. i shouldn't blame god for giving me such results. i didn't study much and i manage to get such results is already considered as a blessing, so i should be thankful. but neverthless, i won't give up here. i will strive for an even better future. i shouldn't say "i will", i should say "i must".

as for you, what do i consider you as? a fren? i don tink so. deep down, you have always been an enemy and you will continue to be my greatest motivation to excel in life. we are just strangers who don even bother to say a word of hi when we see each other. i feel jealoused, enraged, uncomfortable when i see you accomplishing things before me. i hate to see you winning. call me a wimp or whatever shit. i don't care. i wan to win you. be it looks, friends, relationships, studies or even anything! i wan to win you!

pardon me for letting the devil within me being unleashed. i need a place to channel out my thoughts and the best place would be my blog. like what i've always said, this is the only thing that will never betray you and this is the only place where you can find trust. everyone has a devil within them, so don't give me that kind of face when you read my blog. don't let that disgusting thought run through your mind. you are exactly the same as me. you have a devil within you too. the only difference? you try to hide that disgusting devil within yourself and you refuse to let it out. you refuse to let it be shown. with this difference, it makes you even more scary. it makes you much more evil den me. cos you choose to hide it and you allow it to grow within you, never be seen to whoever you know. i showed mine already, where's yours?

- can you unleashed your dark side to all? -