forever twenty-one ;

my tears flow bcos u lied.

Sunday, May 07, 2006, 10:46 PM

well, not much pics for dis entry cos i'm too lazy to upload. maybe in the next entry, den i'll upload one chunk of pics to let everyone see. hahahahas. fiona ... im sorry~ you can't see my pretty face in dis entry eh? =x

last friday was a special day. it's FIONA'S BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FIONA. YOU'RE 18~ ( older den me eh? im still 17 ... hahahas. =x )

school was normal for me that day. i stayed back in class to play CS with the guys aft i complete my rj. i managed to kill 2 person during the game ok! i killed ah neh and kang wei. hahas. so happy sia ... =D i'm seriously not a noob. lols. but then ... a freaking idiot called TINKY WINKY kept killing me lor. so not fun. who was it? adrian wong ... you better watch out ok? lols. lalala~ after that, i went to cwp with kenny and adrian. speaking of kenny, he is so nice lor! he helped with my maths and he taught me how to play CS. so nice of him right? hahas. we went to mac and i waited for amanda dere. after she came, adrian and kenny left. a little baby boy sat at adrian's place aft he left. he was sooo cute i tell you! so cute until i had to take his pic lor. lols. ahhh~ he's so cute! then the both of us went shopping while waiting for the rest of the girls to come. we saw a butterfly necklace and decided to get it for the bday girl. when eileen rch cwp, the three of us went and got that for her. hahas. hope she likes it ya? ((:

and you know what? i actually saw that baby boy again after i left macdonal! i showed him the picture i took of him and he kept smiling lor..

[ so cute right? ahhhhhhh! ]

anyway, coreen, fiona and lynnda came really late. i think i wait for almost 3 hrs sia. aiya .. but since it's fiona's bday, how i can i be angry? mus smile.. lols. we den went to jack's place to haf our dinner. fiona thought she would be spending her bday alone and she got trick 3 times. the first time was when lynnda and coreen went and fetch her at her workplace. the 2nd time was when she saw amanda, eileen and me. the third time must be the sweetest moment for her. cos she saw alvin! hahas. her bf ... =] she was so touched that she cried. after a very fufilling dinner, we proceeded to cut the cake! hahas. fiona brought home the cake cos all of us was to full to eat it. lols. den alvin and fiona went off while the rest of us had a girl's talk until midnight.. =D

on saturday, i had dinner with my family at cwp. the food at the chinese restaraunt was kinda good. lols. i like i like. hahas. we went shopping for baby stuffs after that. the little baby boy in my da sao's tummy will be due in a few mths time! i can't wait for this new member of my family to come! lalala~ i'm going to be a xiao gu soon ... =D

last night was a teary night. it's been so long since i've last cried like this. i know it's stupid of me to be crying over such small matters, but i couldn't help myself. i can feel the pain again. it felt exactly the same or maybe even worse. i just don't wish to experience what i felt in the past again and again. is that too much to ask for? i know i'm bad. i asked god, why was it me again? it's not fair at all. why are you so unfair? why me? don't tell me that it's destiny or wad. just don let it happen to me again dis time. my frens who knows about this, might find it so ridiculous. why is it happening to me so many times? why always me? amanda even said: don't you think it's always happening to you? i think so too. it's always me. but all i know, is that even if it comes true one day, i will surely climb out of it. i will never allow myself to stay in there forever. i must be strong ... so smile. =))

all i hope now is that things will turn out well ...

- i just want you to be happy. -