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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
you are really gone.
Sunday, June 18, 2006, 4:58 PM
well, the class chalet was kinda fun. but, i still think somehow, it didn't ended well like how i think it should be.

or maybe bcos it wasn't very enjoyable for him, so i'm just thinking it from his point of view. so i didnt enjoyed it too.

when i see him like this, i can feel my heart being torn apart. how i wished i can do something to make him feel better, but what can i do at that point in time? i feel so useless and i know clearly that there is nothing i can do. i can only stay away from him ... to make him feel better. doing nothing is the only thing i can do for him i guess.

i knew what was coming. after so much things that has happened, isn't it obvious that such an outcome like this will happen? of course i knew. but why does it it hurt so much even when i knew what was coming?

i'm feeling so blank now. i dunno what to type. i dunno even know how to explain it. all i know is that everything is over. i am a friend to him and he is a friend to me. we will move on with our lives. i cried until my tears can't seem to fall out anymore. i stared up at the ceiling and stoned. i reflected and think through everything. i talked with my friends. they offered advices and let me see what went wrong. it seems to make sense ... yet at the same time, everything just doesn't.

the reality is that you're gone now and that we are friends. but the fantasy is can i choose not to believe?

i just want to learn from this. so that i won't commit the same mistake again and again.

i'm trying my best now to move on with my life. cos it's my life. not anybody's. but it just seems so hard.

i'm down. seriously ... so down. my life is in a total wreck now.

i don't know what to blog anymore.

- she's gone -



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