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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
i missed school again. =(
Thursday, July 27, 2006, 4:01 PM
slap me please.

seriously laa, anyone who cares to slap me now?

i am like so DEAD can?

I MISSED SCHOOL AGAIN.

i can't believe how proud i was to annouce in the last few entries that i will never miss school again. but look at me now, i end up missing school again today. =(

yesterday night, i was practising my maths. i did only a few questions and i end up feeling very pek cek because i don't know how to do most of the questions. i am so demoralised can? i went to bed after that because i know clearly that i wasn't in the right mind to work on it anymore. when i woked up this morning, i had this strong pang of feeling within me that tells me that YOU SHOULDN'T GO SCHOOL. i choose to ignore it and went on to put on my contact lenses. once i put it on and was back in my room, i saw my nice, fluffy bed and it was like beckoning me to jump into it. so i choose to lie on it for like 5 mins? you know what? it was the wrong move. i ended up sleeping all the way until the afternoon and i settled on the thought that i should give school a miss. but don't worry, i did remove my contact lenses after i settled on the thought that i'm not going to school anymore. but still ...

I FEEL SO GULITY AND UPSET CAN?

how ar? someone please help me? i think noone can help me except for myself. hais. i had a chat with amanda in msn and she told me that it's all in the mind. but still, i cannot feel anything. i can't feel any sense of motivation or hope within me. no matter what she tells me, i just don't feel anything. where has that top scorer gone to? i really felt like throwing away the plug when i saw it that day. i feel like the glory that i had in the past has already gone down the drain and it's seriously nothing now. can i still be how i used to be? =(

I AM GOING TO SEARCH FOR MY MOTIVATION.

alas,

TATA. =(

- i don't have much time left -

my friendster is FINALLY working! =D
Wednesday, July 26, 2006, 2:51 PM
hohoho.

i'm in class now. my team just completed our presentation and other teams are presenting now. don't worry. i'm paying attention as i blog ... hahaha! you believe?
=D

why am i blogging then?

because ...

MY PICTURES CAN FINALLY BE VIEWED IN FRIENDSTER! x))

i am so excited can? please go to my friendster if you want to see my beautiful face hokay? hahahas!


i don't know what's wrong with my friendster profile. for almost a month, my friends who have been visiting my profile kept coming to me to tell me that the pictures in my profile cannot be viewed and an error message is always being displayed whenever they try to view it. worst of all, i can't view it myself too! whenever i want to view my own pictures, the same problem happens to me again and again too! so pek cek can? =(

i tried MANY MANY MANY ways, such as deleting my pictures, (i know you all feel upset because lesser pictures of me can be viewed, please put up with the pain!) removing the captions etc, but it still doesn't work! as a last resort ...

I SEND FRIENDSTER A MESSAGE. =D

my message:

hello.

there's some problems with my profile.

my friends told me that they couldn't view all of my pictures. whenever they click on the 'next' button to see the next picture, there will be an 'error on page' message being shown.

there is nothing i can do except to notify friendster.

can anyone of you please do something about it? this problem has been there for more than a month already.

thanks.

the response:

Please take out any unnecessary symbols from your captions. This will make your photos display properly.

CS

and you know what?

IT WORKED!

i amma happy girl~ =D

btw, that CUTE GUY is attached leh. sian 1/2 ... =(

hohoho.

nvm! more will come~

((:

- stop seeking and you will find -

fate and coincidence.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006, 2:16 AM
good morning.

it's another day and i'm turning in soon. school will start in another 6 hours time and i will be reporting for school tomorrow. there will be some guests in class tomorrow and i wonder how will the day be like. nevethless, i will still be myself. i'm not going to turn into some kind of demure lady just for those guests. i love being myself. i won't skip lessons for this semester anymore because today is the 5th time i skipped lessons for this entire semester. enough is enough. i think 5 times is already a lot. i will be going to school from now on.

i think i must be sick in the mind to sms my boy to tell him all those crap. i don't know what's wrong with me. i just felt so emo suddenly when i see him telling me all those stuffs. i am unsure of my own feelings and i don't know who i love more in my heart. anyway, does it really matter who do i love more now? both of them are not even part of my life now. so why am i thinking about who i love more? maybe they don't even care. so why am i thinking so much? what for? am i trying to answer to my own feelings?

it still feels wierd to see him everyday in class and still having those feelings i had for him in the past.

at the same time, it feels even more wierd to be smsing with my boy daily and behaving like i want him back badly.

who do i love more? why do i feel this way?

it's like a mixture of feelings that i'm having now and it feels terrible sometimes. even though, it might be unimportant as to who do i love more because they are already not a part of my life, i still cannot stand myself being like this. i just feel wierd now. very wierd ...

i bumped into my boy yesterday when i was in town.

i saw him when i was waiting for the bus today.

one is fate and the other is coincidence ... but so?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

- i don't know what's wrong with me this time -

this is what you call fate.
Monday, July 24, 2006, 12:08 AM
i think i better blog now before i lost the feel to blog again.

i think i'm having phobia of late night-outs. seriously, i think i am. i went out with claire earlier and just got home at around 11.30 pm. i was fucking scared when i was walking that eerie route back home. ever since that flasher incident that took place one week ago, i am having severe phobia of late night-outs. that was why i am returning home earlier than usual for the past one week. but this time, because of our missy aw, i actually risked my life to return home late for the first time ever since that scary incident took place. i am SO wei da, so claire, be touched. be very very very touched. hahahaha! i think claire can sense how scared i am, because when i called her when i was on the way home, she said that she can hear the sounds of my heels clicking away with a very fast pace and that i was panting heavily. see how scared am i? so next time arh, if anyone of you wants me to stay out late, you better know what to do! hahahaha~ =x

i met claire at around 6.30 pm at orchard and we went to far east plaza to have our dinner. it's some kind of thai restaraunt and the food taste pretty good. furthurmore, it's at a reasonable price. =) we shopped around at far east before floating to takashimaya and centrepoint. on the way there, i saw my boy. i was very very very suprised to see him there. i just turned and he happened to walk past behind me. i was even telling claire about him before that. what is it? some kind of fate? i never even thought of seeing him again and there he was. we are really connected in a lot of ways ... ways that you find it so hard to imagine sometimes. claire told me "it's fate." it really is?

anyway, we walked over to centre point after going to taka because claire wanted to see the CUTE GUY who was working at levis. she didn't see him before so i accompanied her and when i saw the guy, i went WOAH. he is really CUTEEEE. hahahaha! it was so funny because i walked over to where he was and he was actually propped up on a ladder. i was looking at some clothes and when i turned to looked up at him, he looked down! omg. he is FUCKING CUTE leh! he smile to me after that. *shyyy* we left the shop after that and claire asked me whether do i want to try the levi's jeans, she said it might look good on me. so ... we went back in! hahahaha! we very jian right? this time, he's ladder blocked my way and he removed it so that i can walk, den he said "sorry" to me, so i said "nevermind". hahahaha! *shyyyyyy* we didn't get anything in the end, den we went out of the shop. when the both of us was walking to dhoby ghaut, claire and i was tempted to get he's number! hahahaha. we flipped coins and the outcome was that we should get he's number! hahahaha! anyway, claire say that he will get a chance to know him next time, since they are working at levis so i am the one who gets to have he's number. hahaha. claire helped me asked and i was at someplace waiting for her. i'm shy ma. lols. anyway, he gave he's number lor! eh but he is kinda boring leh. i sms with him for a while, we like nth to talk like that. SIAN LEH. but he is CUTE LAAA, so i will preserve on! =x

anyway, please don't kao pei and say i'm bitchy or what to ask for a guy's number hokay. i'm just more OPEN-MINDED ma. IT'S THE YEAR 2006, PEOPLE. who say girls can't ask for a guy's number? hahas. it's not my first time asking also. lols. but everytime is my friend help me de laa. hahas. -.-

till next time ... bye bye. =)

- this is what you call fate -

fuck the world man.
Sunday, July 23, 2006, 1:21 AM
someboday save me hokay?

i am trying my best to work on my maths and my attention keeps getting diverted. i feel so uninterested to learn. i have absolutely NO MOTIVATION. my fucking O level maths paper is less than 6 mths away and look at me? i am stil sooo slow. I'M GONNA DIE. I'M SO GONNA DIE. if i fail again this time, this would mean i wasted $130+ and my precious time for the whole year. i would not be able to graduate from my beloved course, sonic arts and i will have to keep retaking it order to graduate from the course. fuck your neh la. somebody help me can?

WHAT MUST I DO ARHHH?

also, i don't understand why am i so fucking emo. it started yesterday and it's still going on now. it comes on and off. why am i still so emo over HIM HIM HIM? i thought i am already over and done with HIM? this matter had already been settled months ago but why am i still so bothered by HIM? he is still in every inch of my mind. it came back yesterday, i wonder why. everything is HIM HIM HIM. somebody take him away NOW NOW NOW!

you girls arh, stay away from him can? i cannot STAND seeing you all clinging on to him like bees to honey. i feel like slapping your face, burning your hair, digging your eyes, poking toothpicks into your nostrils laa. just stay away from him can? don't talk like how i USED TO talk to him. don't do things like how i USED TO do. it irritates me MANY MANY MANY. as for that 'HIM' arh, don't react to them like how you USED TO react to me. don't flirt with them. don't whisper sweet nothings into their ears. STOP ALL THAT.

you people arh, don't ask me to heck care hokay?! put yourself in my shoes laa. think about how i feel can? don't EXPECT me to do things you all can't do arh. don't keep saying things to remind me of him. don't do things to keep reminding me of him. when i shut up and don't talk means i'm emo alr. so why still do and show me all those things? pls spare a thought for me hokay. i so cannot take it. I CANNOT.

seriously,

FUCK THE WORLD MAN.

i am really going nuts.
((:

- i fucking love you -

i love you.
Monday, July 17, 2006, 9:34 AM
1st Lady - Never Be Replaced

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until (until) the end (the end) of time

From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you, and I wanna have your kids
It can never compare to the feeling of your kisses
I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You make me thank God that I live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt, in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
Enjoyed everyday, that I spend with you
And I wont miss you cause I'm happy that I had you at all

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

i never understood the true meaning of this song, until i got together with someone i like a lot. in the past, i tend to laugh at others when they are in a relationship and i would feel that it is stupid of others to keep giving in without getting any thing in return. after experiencing it myself, i understood what it means and how it really feels and surprisingly ... i don't find it naive anymore. if the person is worthy of your love, you will be more than willing to give it your all.

even though we are giving each other some space and time to understand each other before continuing anything ... i'm glad that we had that talk and i can only say that no matter what will become of us, friends or lovers ... i treasure and cherish you, my boy. =)

- i love you -

i actually met a flasher.
Sunday, July 16, 2006, 2:49 PM
KNNBCCB

pardon me for using such words at the start of an entry but i am FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING tramatized now.

behold my friends ...

I ACTUALLY MET A FLASHER LAST NIGHT.

OMFG. how suay can i be? i was on the way home at around 12 am as usual after an outing with my poly friends. i got off the bus and took the usual eerie route home and there was this short and fat guy in front of me. (you must be wondering how eerie the route is? imagine walking through a route surronded by bushes and there is not even a single clue of civilisation around. it was DEADLY SILENT and the lights on the cover walkway are flickering as time ticks by.) i didn't take notice of him at first and when i turned into a small road that is surronded by bushes,(yes, there are bushes everywhere.) he actually turned back and followed me. i didn't know that he was there until i was waiting for the lift and when the lift came, he entered the lift with me. then, that fucking guy did not press the level that he was going to, only i did. i already felt wierd at that point in time, i looked at him and he freaking smiled at me can? i was like FUCK LA. MAYBE HE'S MY NEIGHBOUR? i didn't think too much about it and when i went out of the lift, he didn't followed. but the freaking wierd thing is, he didn't press the floor to go up or down, and the next thing i know was that when i was at my doorstep, he walked out, smiled and unzip he's freaking pants to show me he's dick! KNN LA. i am so scared sia. my neighbour's door was actually opened and if i shouted, i believe they would have came out, but i only press the doorbell of my own apartment. i was so scared that i only know i should press my doorbell. when he saw me doing that, he rushed back down. FUCKING BALLESS GUY.

and you know what? he has such a freaking small dick , i can't believe he actually dared to flash it. what a disgrace!

what i'm really worried is he knows where i live leh. what if he comes back again? or even camp outside my house to wait for me? who can protect me? =(

anyway, i am going to be really really really careful already. i know what to do to be more careful from now on. i will take good care of myself.

i am really disappointed in my boy. he was the first one i called when i was scared, but in the end? he wasn't even there for me when i needed him most. he is so selfish. why is he only thinking about himself at that time? why didn't he spare a thought for me? even my friends cared MANY MANY MANY more times than he did. i hate it when he is like this.
I HATE IT LAAA.

T.T


- another lesson learnt -

an enjoyable day. =)
Thursday, July 06, 2006, 3:48 PM
i skipped school today.

why?

because i'm sick and tired.

for this whole week, i have been feeling heaty and was having a darn flu that comes and goes. it was symptons that showed that i'm going to be sick soon. then, when i woked up at 8 am this morning, i had this sudden thought that i should give school a miss today. moreover, i felt sleepy and tired so i was home the whole day. lols.

claire's birthday is tommorow and we had an advanced birthday celebration for her yesterday. she couldn't make it tommorow because she needs to celebrate it with her family so we celebrated it with her first.

the poor birthday girl had to wait for all of us because her sch ended earliest. the rest of us can only come later, so she hanged around with her girlfriend at bishan before coming to orchard to meet us. among all of us, my sch ended the earliest so i met up with claire to watch just my luck. the show was nice and it's really worth the money BUT i wasn't feeling very happy throughout the movie. why? because ...CLAIRE SPILLED NACHO CHEESE ON MY NEW SHORTS! it was only the second time i wore that shorts and she spilled ALOT ALOT ALOT of them on my shorts. it's not just a tiny drop ok? IT'S ONE BIG POOP OF NACHO CHEESE! omfg, i could just simply die on the spot. i ain't joking! i can really die! neverthless, i was really angered but i tried to keep my cool and continued watching the movie. it really felt uncomfortable because it was freaking wet and sticky! ahhh ... but nevermind. i was unlucky laa. =( she wanted to pay me but i don't see a need to la. she's my friend leh. ask her pay is like so not nice lor. moroever, the stain wasn't very obvious although there was a big patch there. luckily, my shorts is checkered and it was black and white if not ... i think the stain would be so freaking obvious. i just hope my mummy can work her magic on it and remove the stain for me by washing it away.
=
after the movie, we met amanda at heeren and we shopped around while waiting for eileen. when eileen came, we had dinner at billy bombers! i had a yummy set of pork ribs and it's tasty! everyone said i was great at eating pork ribs because there wasn't a single trace of meat left on the bones. claire had the same thing i ate while eileen had chicken and amanda ate fish. the soup of the day was mushroom soup and it was yummy! i poured too much pepper into it though. my soup was covered with pepper i tell you. lols. we drank root bear float except for claire. she had cookies and cream milkshake. hahas. we took lots of pictures but i won't be uploading them yet because i haven't got the pics from claire. she tried sending me the pics last night but i went offline halfway during the transfer because my internet connection got cut off. i was stealing wireless connection from someone mah. =x after the dinner, we bought an oreo cheesecake cake from NYDC. we didn't bothered to hide and pretend to give claire a suprise because we are going through the same routine for everyone's bday until everyone can expect what will happen next! lolx. i crapped with the waiteress at NYDC and i was fucking lame i tell you. hahas! i didn't got to see the cute waiter called ken though ... =(

we walked over to istana park to cut the cake. on the way, claire tried jumping over a pool of water and ended up plunging her feet into it. her feet was soaking wet! hahas. i tooked up the challenge and jumped over the water and i didn't get wet! hahahaha! smart eh? we borrowed a lighter from a malay couple and they are nice enough to lend them to us. after that, we took pics and ate the cake. it was freaking stupid of us because we forgot to ask for spoons when we were at NYDC and we ended up eating the cake with the knife. LOL. but neverthless, the cake taste nice. it looks like a pile of vomit though. hahas. =x then, we started to fool and play around with water and what the fuck?! amanda actually splash water on me! i chased her and tried splashing water back at her, but in the end, i end up splashing water all over my face. they all laughed at me. my make up smudged badly too. =(

we went home after that. i was freaking tired that i slept as soon as i got a chance when i got home. hahas.

missy aw, i hope you enjoyed your advanced birthday celebration ya? it wasn't very grand and all ... there wasn't much people and also surprises but i hope you enjoyed it. it's the company that matters yeah? we will give you your present soon ... hahas. x))

anyway, school was freaking fun yesterday! my team needs to come up with a music video that is sponsored by a leading sports brand, targeted at young adults. we chose the brand nike and this is what we came up with!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S23zGrTVEOQ


it's freaking funny right? hahahaha! i couldn't stop myself from laughing lor. it's so funny can? i think the whole class enjoyed the mv alot ... including the facilitator. lols. i hope we score cos we had a hard time fliming it, with limited resources! x))

before i went to bed yesterday, i used photoshop to experiment on a very treasured picture that i had ...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

it turned out pretty well to me ... the effects and all. but well, some things can never be as well as it used to be already. till next time ... i'm off. =)

- memories of yesterday -



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