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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
i won't bug you till i'm 20.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006, 2:24 AM
OUCH.

OUCH.

you must be wondering why i said ouch two times?

well, i got hurt 2 times by the same person because i fell for him twice. (:

if you were to look under my old archives, around one year ago, at that point in time, i fell for a person.

in those entries, i've written all my happiness and sorrow that he brought into my life. i've written about how much i want to see him because i have never seen him much in my life. i've written about the pain and suffering he brings and the wonderful memories that he created.

exactly one year later, he just managed to bring more of them into my life.

i guess this is what you called fate. this wierd thing made us cross each others path unexpectedly. the main culprit might not be fate itself, but this ...

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this is the present he owed me for one whole year. my birthday present.

this is the main reason that caused us to meet again. it caused us to meet up more than we usually did.

since the first day i've known you, i only met up with you for less than 5 times. because of this, i got to see you almost everyday. i managed to talk to you properly for the first time, to have a real conversation. i managed to see how you react to the little things that is happening around you. i managed to look at the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way you eat and the way you smoke. many of them are things which i have never gotten a chance to observe before.

now that everything is over in a flash, i am wondering when will i ever see you again?

tommorow?

the day after tommorow?

next week?

a month?

a year?

or forever?

yes maybe i won't even get to see you ever again.

but so?

the memories you created and the little things you have done are enough to last for a lifetime. i thank you for that.

i am immature to you. i am childish to you. maybe even blogging about this is deemed as childish to you, but all i can say is i don't know how to grow up because i don't have any experiences to guide me through. i need time to learn about the little things that you say i lack. i seriously need lots of time.

you told me not to bug you until i am 20?

i will do just that. (:

many of my friends felt angered when they know someone like this made such a statement. but i don't feel angered. i wonder why. it might be because i believe that he has his reasons for saying that and i believe in him. i might be stupid for thinking like this but ... who cares? (:

you are the first guy i liked who piggy backed me ...

i'll miss you.

- two years from now -



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