i am traumatized.

i am being stalked again last night.

i was going home at around 10 plus last night and i was taking the highly lit route home as usual. there wasn't anyone around except for this bangala who was crossing the road. he was about to walk towards the pavement that was leading up to my house and when he saw me, he abruptly stopped in his tracks and backtracked a little to wait by the roadside with his back facing me. from time to time, he would turned behind to look at whether am i heading towards his direction.

even though i was on the phone, i could somehow detect that something was amiss from his actions and i just turned behind and walked in the opposite direction. when he saw this, he immediately followed me from behind and i quickly put down the phone. i went down the stairs and walked through the covered walkway and when i turned behind, i actually saw him jumping across the drain and cutting across the grass just to close the distance with me and to cut my path.

when i saw this, i am already freaking out so i immediately ran for my dear life. luckily, there was this aunty in front of me and i told her what happened and she was really nice to accompany me and to follow me throughout the long walk. that fucking stalker continued following us and he was hoping that aunty would somehow walk away or move away so that i will end up being alone. sadly for him, this did not happen. the aunty accompanied me and we sat down and this stalker had no choice but to walk pass us. before he walk away, he actually turned around to glance at me for the last time.

i called my mum and sis along the way and they came down to accompany me back home. i am so traumatized, i ended up crying all the way home.

thanks to the aunty who happened to be around. if she wasn't around at that point in time, who can actually imagine what could possibly happen?

this is the fourth time i am being stalked in a year. i am really freaking out. i really don't know what to do anymore. i am already on full alert and i am alr taking precaution to protect myself from this people but it is happening over and over again. i reported this to the police so many god damn fucking times and yet this is still happening. what is actually happening to the society? what are the police doing? this is not a safe country at all. it's only 10 pm at night and such things can actually happen. what is wrong?

i am so worried for myself. i don't know when this will stop. i am seriously living in some kind of fear. i am thinking when will be the next time and when i might stop getting lucky and end up getting raped or murdered.

can anyone help me? i feel so helpless right now.

what if the next time, i won't even have the chance to be sitting here and to type out all this to tell you all what actually happened.

my life is in danger somehow.

save me.

even though you are so close to me,
i realised we are apart.
we are so far apart
that there is nothing you can do to help.

i am alone.