even msn hates me now. look at how great life can get. (:
i've been trying to log in to that stupid thing for the past hour and i can't seem to get online. i've asked for help ( you know who you are. thanks. (: ) and even went to the extent of plucking out cables and re-inserting them again, but to no avail. i restarted my antique desktop a thousands times. even the lousiest web messenger also can't get me online.
at times like this, i really feel that the whole world is going against me somehow.
what's wrong with all this, you might probably think. oh it must be one of her emo days. is that what you are thinking?
cos if you are thinking like this, just kindly shut up. i hate to explain simple things to stupid people because the concept is just simple.
I AM NOT EMO.I AM NOT SENSITIVE.I AM NOT HAVING ANY MOOD SWINGS.i am having shits in my life. my life is messed up. i am not thinking too much because my life is indeed messed up. how do i know my life is messed up and that i'm not thinking too much? cos it's my life and it's not yours, so i definitely know it better than you. look at how stupid people can get. (:
it was the breaking point last night. everything just came at one shot. friends and family just seem to suddenly turn their backs on me and no one seems to be there anymore. it was a long time since i've felt isolated and alone. all the important people in my life seemed so far away and everyone is like going against me. at that point in time, i really felt that no one really understands me and i never really understood them either. it's really depressing to know that and i just can't seem to hold back my tears. it just came pouring down when i lock myself back into that tiny space i have.
everything is in a mess. my lifestyle, my studies, maths, school work, results. every little bits and pieces of my life is in a mess and i can't seem to get them organized and planned out. i can't even seem to prioritize the things in my life and i can't even carry out simple everyday plans that i have. i am afraid that i will be stuck in here forever. i don't wish to remain in a state like this for the rest of my life. do i have a future? how would it be like? will i be like this forever?
i am going to make a change for sure. it's going to happen. we shall see.
i took a walk down memory lane today,and i realised how much i have changed over the years.i miss the days when i was young.everything was so simple then.the scenery i saw and the places i've been to hasn't changed.the memories hasn't change.but people change and i have changed.and i miss you grandma.