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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
i thought i am strong but i still can't control my tears.
Saturday, April 21, 2007, 4:17 PM
another one week has passed just like that. time really flies before i even know it.

school has been alright so far and since i am changing classes everyday, i haven't really got to know everyone or had any chances of being close with my new classmates. nevertheless, i seriously enjoy the modules i'm having everyday even though it's ART ART ART and it can be really stressful sometimes. my world is totally ARTY FARTY. hahas. (:

i went to lynnda's class yesterday and i noticed that that REAL guy with the REAL identity that i met at camp happened to be just beside her class. weihow that freak said that he wanted to bang open the door and just ask that guy to come out, in the end, he had no guts to. HAHA. he even dared me to go in and lynnda asked him not to dare me cos she knows i will do it and guess what? i ended up opening the door and asking him out for a talk and i said i want to speak to him.

i didn't know telling him about all that has happened would be so tough. my heart was seriously beating super fast. luckily i kept my cool at that time and i didn't showed that i am emotionally traumatized. hahas. looking at someone with that exact same face and telling him all that has happened wasn't something easy you know. just the thought of knowing that he doesn't know me deep down is enough to make my tears flow. all i see is unfamiliarity in his eyes and all i got was a sincere thanks for informing. after he left, my tears just fell cos the memories just flooded back and it was suffocating if i didn't let out my tears.

thinking back, am i doing all this because i really want him to know about the matter or is it that i just want him to be aware of my existence?

i don't really know.

the only thing that made me so surprised was that he actually managed to find my friendster account and send me a message to thank me. i was overwhelmed and shocked. in the end, we ended up talking about this matter in msn.

somehow, it's wierd how god arranged my fate to be this way. going to all means to let me experience my life and yet save me at the very last minute to stop the pain and hurt from lingering any furthur. no matter that, thank god and everyone who has been through this episode of my life with me. i am glad it's over. (:

shall update tonight again about the outing with the girls last weekend. lots of pictures!

now, i need a break bcos i'm having a severe tummy upset.

):

i thought i am strong but i still can't control my tears.



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