fuck your neh people.

i have something damn HIGH to announce.

it all happened on a wednesday. [:

i felt friggin' excited and happy when i was in class that day. i tried my best to conceal my happiness and tried not to go MUAHAHAHAHAHA in front of the whole class. it was so fucking hard to do so when i am in the same class with AHEM for both modules and today we're in the same team! so excited la can?

i know it's not the first time that i'm in the same class with AHEM but i just cannot help but feel excited la can?

DUH.

i was trying to put up a calm front when i entered class that day because I KNOW WE ARE IN THE SAME TEAM and THE SEAT BESIDE HIM IS EMPTY! AHHHHHH! :D

i don't have a choice anyway since it's the only empty seat. heh heh heh.

we didn't talk much at first but we ended up having lots to say. it all started with his nice greeting of: you never go down to eat ah? (please rephrase this in chinese.) we started talking and crapping a lot luh. we talked about dramas to nipple hairs, from cheats to flings and many many more. in simple, he's a nice guy who is ATTACHED la can?

i know about this since day one actually. hahahaha. i still can't help feeling HIGH over the fact that i am getting to know him though. somehow, i got to know an even shocking news and that is i have actually seen him somewhere before and he turns out to be someone i have mentioned about to my friends actually. hahahahaha. [:

relax people, i don't go for attached guys. i only like admiring handsome human male beings. muahahaha.

more to come. more to come. more to come.

i seriously don't know what i'm doing.

is there a need to belong to someone right now? i really don't see the point of being attached. i seriously don't mind being single. i feel that i can survive without being in a relationship and i am enjoying what i have right now.

i like the way i can gwak at handsome guys and being a hua chi.

i like the feeling that i know i have a chance to meet someone special.

i like the i-am-carefree feeling and i don't wish to have the i-belong-to-someone feeling right now.

i just want to be with someone i really love. i just want to smile from the bottom of the heart when someone i love does something special for me. be it a small action or whatsoever, i just want to have that feeling of happiness. i just want to do something for someone i love and i know deep down that i feel happy doing all this for that special person.

is it that hard to meet that person i love?

i know you are great and you're really nice. i know you treat me really well and i know you are sincere and you do things from the bottom of your heart. i know you really like me and you are willing to tolerate my nonsense. you are willing to give in without complaints and you feel happy doing all this.

the problem is: i don't smile from the bottom of my heart when you do all this little things and i don't have the feeling of doing something special for you at all.

i did try but i still cannot have that kind of feeling that i will have when i like someone. sometimes, i really get irritated when you do all this things for me. your actions are really LOUD and you have done ALOT but ... i don't feel much. the feelings for you is weak. it just comes and goes. it's not enough to be in a relationship.

i think we already know what's coming.

show me the way.



xoxo