i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying i am not sleepy i love studying

this is what i'm doing to keep myself awake and to continue studying for the test tml.

zzz.

my little red riding shoes

(do not read this if you're below 18!)

initially, i really feel like labelling this entry as "if you're not a girl, please kindly abstain from reading this post."

after some thoughts, i decided to heck care and just blog it out for all to see. i mean we're living in the 2000 kinda era and not the 1000 kinda era already. everyone should be more open minded about this right?

oh well, here goes nothing.

i've been having this wierd menstrual routines recently and it's seriously freaking me out. i mean who in the world will have two repeated menses cycle in a month! the first cycle was on time and all, but the second cycle came like a week after the first cycle. the worst thing about the repeated cycle is that, the blood flow isn't as much as the first one and it was really little when it came. it's like on and off cycle and i'm seriously wondering why.

i told cynthia about it and she asked me to go for some kind of wierd ass test called pap smear. i was taken aback at the wierd name and thought that the test was conducted by the local political party PAP intially. -.-

in the end, i did some research and found out what it REALLY is.

"While you lie on an exam table, the doctor puts an instrument called a speculum into your vagina, opening it to see the cervix. She will then use a special stick or brush to take a few cells from inside and around the cervix. The cells are placed on a glass slide and sent to a lab for examination. While usually painless, a Pap test is uncomfortable for some women."

i was like WHAT THE FUCK after reading this. it's like so painful can?

i felt even more WHAT THE FUCK after reading this.

"It is important for all women to have pap tests, along with pelvic exams, as part of their routine health care. You need a Pap test if you are:

• 21 years or older
• under 21 years old and have been sexually active for three years or more

There is no age limit for the Pap test. Even women who have gone through menopause (when a woman's periods stop) need regular Pap tests."

i'm not even over 21 la! the most funny thing is i'm still a virgin la can? how to go for this pap test?

it's conducted to check if you have some kind of illness called cervical cancer and one of the symptons of having cervical cancer is abnormal vaginal bleeding.

...

i don't know am i scaring myself or what but i'm having abdominal pains today when i was watching nancy drew in the cinemas with ken and cynthia earlier. it's not even pain but it's some kind of wierd strain that i feel around my belly button area.

i'll go see a doctor if this bleeding continues. most probably by the end of this week?

aiya side track a bit. haha.

i went to school on monday for a briefing on the module selection exercise that will be starting this wednesday. i still have no idea what electives i should take for the next few semesters. since i'll only be having 3 core modules for the next semester, 3 core modules for the first semester of my third year and 2 core modules for the second semester for my third year, i'll have plenty of empty slots to fill in for my electives. (eh am i making you confused? haha.) i think it's time to give it some serious thoughts and to organise my time well. i don't want to make a mess out of everything by choosing the wrong ones or to choose some kind of lame modules that will not benefit me in the future. furthurmore, i have to be really kiasu cos the slots for the electives are on a first come first serve basis! i think i better look through them when i'm in school tml.

and yes laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i will be going to school tml laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. (i can't afford to miss any more lessons anyway.)

after the briefing, we went to plaza sing cos cynthia had a sudden craving for carls jr. haha. it's a good thing anyway cos it's time for me to put my vouchers to good use! then, i had a sudden craving for movies and ken suggested watching nancy drew. (can you believe ken gave the suggestion to watch nancy drew? o.O) i've always loved reading the mystery collections of nancy drew since young and i definitely don't mind watching the movie. i've wanted to catch it anyway.

the movie proved to be as nice as the story book itself. it was really exciting to see the characters and scene from the book coming to life one by one. it's like what i've imagined when i was reading the book all this while is being brought to life. i know it's stupid but i was really thrilled! haha. :DDD

the movie was totally nancy drew. go catch it la okay! it's my all time favourite story book okay!

time check: 2.39 a.m

ta!

god bless me please.

amanda and i had some drawing classes in msn today. haha.

we drew pictures of oursleves based on this classic picture.



AMANDA'S ART.



MY ART.



not nice ah? ]: (ehhhhh fuck you leh. i am from arts school okay. heh.)

then, we started drawing BAOs.

amanda drew a BOH BAO ...



... and i drew a AMANDA BAO.



HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

i've been RE-WATCHING my full house vcd for the past few days and it's still freaking hilarous. i laughed until i almost pee in my panties. haha. it's super nice la can? i'm going to continue watching it after i bathe later. haha. [:

oh i've been locking myself up at my house for the past few days too.

firstly, it's because i haven't recover completely. remember i told you all that i'm sick? well, the fever has gone down already but the flu still comes back every now and then and i'm still coughing with lots of gooey phlegm.

secondly, my neighbourhood is getting more and more dangerous. i heard from my dad that there was a robbery around my block at 2 pm on friday afternoon. so wtf can? i so cannot imagine a robbery happening in the middle of a friday afternoon. i decided to camp at home till school reopens because of this too.

lastly, i am sick of going out and i wanna stay home to reflect upon the misdeeds that i have done for the past few weeks. (you know, all the late night outs and staying out for nights.)

believe it or not, i have decided to start afresh from tomorrow onwards since it's a monday. i don't feel like going into details about it since it's my life and i don't have to answer to anyone. as long as i know what i'm doing and i know it's for my own good, i'll bear the consequences that comes along the way.

i have so many things to do and so many changes to make. i can't wait for the new day to start. [:

you taught me not to change for anyone.
you taught me to only change for myself.
you taught me to study, to work and to live for myself.

it's been two years, my love. ♥

(p/s: i will not be updating about the outing with my girls already cos there's not much pictures and i can't remember what happened already since it's last week. heh.)

introducing the new song that you're currently hearing in my blog ...

WITHOUT YOU

this song is composed, both lyrics and melody, by yoshiki and he wrote it to commemorate hide's death after nine years. this song expresses how much he misses and the pain that he feels for his friend's departure after nine long years.

x japan will be having a reunion known as the Resur-X-tion and they are once again coming together to release a X Japan single, with a ballad dedicated to hide entitled “Without You”, with toshi's singing once more.

i've been watching lots of interviews on youtube about x japan and hide for the past few days and i think i've fallen in love with them even more. there are so much i've seen about hide that makes me wish that he's still alive. somehow, i just never get sick of their music and i can't wait for their reunion.

if x japan ever host a concert again, i will really fly down to that particular country just to see them in action with cynthia. even though hide isn't there performing anymore, i believe his spirit is around and i can feel his soul in x japan's music.

what you're seeing below is a message from toshi regarding the reunion of x japan:

I had a chance to visit Los Angeles, U.S. for several days recently.
I met an old friend of mine at his recording studio during my stay.

I visited the studio after 10 years, it was much bigger than before,
and to my suprise, its facilities and recording machineries were much more gorgeous.
Maybe one of the top quality recording studios ever!
I was glad it was just like him.

I heard a song created by my friend at the world best studio.
We had a common friend who died almost 10 years ago,
and the song came out of the sorrow, heartache and despair from the experience.
He said he made it at one sitting a few days after the friend's death.

It was such an authentic ballad of his favorite style,
with sad and ephemeral introduction by the piano overlapped with some beautiful melodies of the strings
and furthermore temporarily recorded male vocal.
I could not stop crying to hear the song,
and I wished from the bottom of my heart that it will reach the whole world.

I sang the song along the piano by my friend. He said he really wanted me to sing it.
He showed me its melody playing every single note elaborately and I sang like tracing it.
Words became a song with such a unique melody and rhythm of him.

He chose the right key for me,
saying "It will be just right for you to sing somewhat a tough key rather than a safe and comfortable one."

I tried to sing it all through, and tears welled up again.

"One song tells much more than million words."
That is what my old friend said with a strained voice.
He also seemed crying through his glasses.

It was a moment when both of us deeply touched.
Without many words, one song connected us again.
Maybe, our dear and lost friend did it for us.
Brought up together since childhood for 37 years,
we kept on running together anyway.
I got tired of dashing for the world market and told him that I would leave 10 years ago.
I wanted to sing songs to heal desolate hearts of mine and other people.
And I traved all though Japan for these 10 years,
directly meeting thousands of children, the old, truly a large number of people and singing for them.
It had been such a decate with heartfelt events, tears and learnings for myself.
Rooted on this precious experience,
I would like to sing and send this song of life generated from a sadness for a lost friend for our age.

Our new project is about to start soon,
with this "One Song telling more than Million Words".

i can't wait to see x japan standing strong once more. <3

SO COOL CAN?

i am down with a fever, cough and flu. ]:

i am so gonna camp at home until school reopens.

(i'll update about the outing with my girls soon.)

it's MONDAY and i'm not suffering from any monday blues because i'm having da holidays! no school no school! :D

eh but what's the use anyway? i'm down with a sorethroat and my vocal chord is swollen once more. also, i have to go back to school tml because i have this photoshop workshop to attend and i just checked my rp admin and i found out that i have completed my creative engagement! i don't need any more CE points cos i have all of them already!

YAY-NESS! :DDD

now, the problem is ...

should i attend the photoshop workshop just for the sake of learning something new or should i just ignore this workshop because i have all the points i need already?

futhurmore, tml i might be meeting up with my girls since the outing is cancelled today.

speaking of meeting up with my girls, i met up with claire and eileen last friday. unfortunately, amanda couldn't join us because she was too tired after a long day in school with the company of lots and lots of tests. she needs plenty of rest but i miss her like fuck la. (amanda wong liyi, if we're meeting up tml, you better make sure i get to see your face okay!)

anyway, i met up with eileen first cos claire was at work and she can only meet us after that. i had to wait for eileen for half an hour because she was trapped in a train and because of a tummy upset that she's having. haha. though the wait was long but it was okay cos i was always making them wait in the past too.

nevertheless, she came and we set off to lucky plaza for dinner because i had complimentary pizza hut vouchers (my mum got them for free at her workplace!) and lucky plaza was the only place in town that had pizza huts. :\

once i entered lucky plaza, there was a sudden gush of smell that cannot be described with words and yes, it was the smell of another race. luckily, it faded off quickly and we proceed on to pizza hut for dinner. seriously, the service at lucky plaza was nothing but poor. when we are waiting to be seated, no one attended to us and when we managed to be seated, noone came to take our orders. worst of all, i think we waited more than half an hour for our food to be served and by the time the food came, i was already so hungry that i could probably eat a cow! even when we asked for the bill, it never came and we had to go to the counter personally to ask for the bill.

we aren't even surprised that we are not the only tables who are complaining about the poor service.

we left that horrible place and walked over to lido to take a peep at eileen's classmate who happens to be working at levis. she said that he's quite handsome but i don't find him very handsome leh. aiya shucks! another potential shuai ge goes down the drain. haha. we left lido and went to taka to wait for claire to knock off. we waited by the fountain for her and by the time claire came, eileen needs to leave with the classmate of hers for a while before coming back to meet us to watch shrek 3.

even though we missed the start of shrek 3, the movie was seriously many many many thumbs up! i really didn't regret borrowing shrek 1 & 2 and watching it on vcd, just to specially catch the third episode in cinemas! haha. everyone seems to be giving their praises about the movie la.

then, we bought whatever and anything from the nearby 7-11 and waited for terence, ken and cynthia to come down to fetch us to go makan. we went down to bedok to have supper before going home.







you're making me worry. please get well and i hope to see you soon.

it's only a week and everyone is getting impatient with me. they are demanding for updates! (alright alright. i know i am over reacting.)

anyway, i am having home made egg mayo sandwiches and fruit tree BLACK CURRANT & ALOE VERA juice drink for lunch. you might be wondering why am i bolding the name of that drink eh?

oh well, that drink reminds me of a special person and it's none other than john. :D

seriously, i was shocked when he suddenly asked me whether do i want to go fishing with him and his friend, richard, on a monday morning. (my morning here means in the wee hours of the night, when everyone is still in bed.) i'm not suprised at the sudden ourburst of asking me out to fish in the middle of the night, but i'm taken aback by the fact that he is actually asked me out! i thought our last meeting will always be last year after so much happened. it was really out of the world and it's like my wildest dream came true. since i've been waiting for such a long time, it only makes perfect sense that i agreed. we met up at pasir ris but changed the venue back to bishan in the end.

thanks to terence who drove all of us to and fro, and weihow, who walked me to the mrt station to meet them. it just happened that i was out with terence and weihow on sunday and we're at kbox when john happened to ask me out. i'm sorry about what happened to your car, terence. as in the crash that you got yourself into when you're coming down to meet us. i'm glad that your car is fine now. haha. as for ang, it was nice to be shopping with you. not forgetting the yuki yaki dinner and the 'meng' singing at kbox. thanks guys for EVERYTHING that night and sorry for the long wait that i had to put you all though. you all know what i mean. [:

nevertheless, we went down to the golfcourse area and for the first time in my life, i actually saw a spot where you can fish in bishan. although it's like a man-made fishing area but i just didn't know you can actually fish for prawns there! it's seriously expensive though. it costs about 30 bucks per person for 3 hrs. john and richard fished while i just sat down and talked to them. john let me tried fishing and it was seriously quite fun. haha. it's the first time that i'm actually fishing for prawns! i love prawns and i can't believe that i was actually fishing for them. haha. it was a long waiting process though and when everyone gets quiet and concentrates on fishing, it might get a little boring and tiring. fishing really requires patience and concentration.

it was nice to peek at him from time to time, looking at him laugh and being serious, looking at him smoke and fanning the smoke away from me, popping questions suddenly and being quiet during the next minute, talking about the past, walking away and coming back with cans of drinks in his hands when i said i don't want any drinks, putting that BLACKCURRANT AND ALOE VERA juice drink in front of me, reminding me to drink it and to shake it because there's pulp in it, helping me by taking over the fishing rod when i'm opening the drink and handing it back to me ... so much so much.

when i was in the car and when i was on the way to meet him, a million thoughts raced through my mind and i didn't know how i should be feeling. it came so suddenly that all i felt was a blank. but when i was with him, it was just pure happiness. just being around him is already a form of happiness that i felt at that point in time. if only time stops there ...

[:

there is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand