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herhiddenthoughts
Mood: Excited. Quotes: “Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.”
can i ever bring myself back?
Thursday, August 09, 2007, 11:54 PM
at the bottom of this entry, you will see a weird song title that is playing in my music player when i'm typing this entry. what's that song, you may ask. well, it's some classical musical piece that i have to listen to and to study for my test tomorrow. this is what happens when you're an art student. i don't even get what the singer is ranting about. it's in some kind of weird foreign language. i think it's spanish? or is it french? bah!

sometimes, i really wonder am i really trying my best to improve? i don't seem to be working towards improving myself even though i keep saying i will. i know what's wrong with myself and i do try to improve but i'll still end up giving up halfway. what's really wrong with me, i always wonder. where's the self discipline that i need? where's that motivation in my life? why am i always giving up halfway when i'm starting to make some improvements?

i miss that old yeh ying back in secondary school who's always working towards her dreams and knowing what she wants in her life.

life was so simple then. the thoughts that was always in her mind was that "she will get the grades she wants because she knows she is capable of achieving it." she even enjoys the competition with her peers and the money she gets whenever she gets those wonderful results. it seems like this motivation and self discipline is gone for good. can i ever find it back?

i really hate the person i've turned into. i hate turning to others for comfort and motivation and asking them what is wrong with me, when i clearly know what's wrong. it's all about me and no one can help anymore. they can only give advices and try to give suggestions. there's so many helping hands around me but i just can't seem to reach out to them ... i don't even want to help myself anymore.

those splendid and glorious moments that i once enjoyed has turned into memories of yesterday. i want to bring them back ... but can i?

thanks for always being there to cry and to laugh with me. it's really appreciated deep down in my heart. i know you're not good at expressing yourself and comforting others. i know that you're working on it and i thank you for all this effort. sorry for whatever that happened earlier. you're equally important to me too. ♥



but at this time when you're off to bed, somehow i feel alone once again.

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Now playing: Edith Piaf - Track 1
via FoxyTunes



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