lesson #2 - make your loved ones smile.

believe it or not, only half a day has passed and this has been my WORST birthday ever.

the dinner plan with my family has been canceled cos' my sister says i am disrupting her schedule with my irregular lifestyle and i have not been clear with my instructions. then, has she been very clear with hers? i might be in the wrong for some things but surely not everything!

i've never felt so rotten, upset, angry and disappointed on my birthday.

that 18 year old me is kicking in again when i am trying to get rid of her because i am 19 already.

BUT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

fuck.

and i cried for the second time again on my birthday, how inauspicious.

it's 11.59 pm.

goodbye to the 18 year old me.

it's about time to make a difference.

dear readers,

arts management is finally over and i'm back home now. we did some fun stuffs in class today like designing an all new monopoly board but the only difference from the original one is that it's an arts manager's version. i enjoyed the hands on work that i got to do, such as planning, organizing and then drawing it all out with my team. i'm impressed by the monopoly board that i drew! (:

however, it was really taxing on the brain. ):

class finished slightly earlier today and i'll be going down to plaza sing to meet samantha and raymond in a while for some maths revision. maths exams is just around the corner. i really hope everything will be over soon and i can squeeze out a pass.

anyway, i watched harry potter and the chamber of secrets last night. my elder brother burned the dvd for me. i want to watch the prisoner of azkaban badly after catching the chamber of secrets cos the harry potter series is really that good! i've already finished watching the sorcerer's stone too. i'm going to borrow the books and start reading as soon as exams are over!

and yes i know i am SLOW but better late now than never right?

boyfriend and me are finally okay. it's been four days since we've last met. i miss him sooooooo badly. ):

signing off,

yy ♥

Now playing: 周杰伦 - 不能说的秘密
via FoxyTunes

this is the first time you've told me so much. somehow, the situation this time doesn't feel right anymore. no matter how many times we've argued over the same things again and again, it always feels like you'll still be there. no matter how angry you are, you'll still be there to answer my calls and to talk to me till wee hours in the morning. in the end, we'll still meet up and hug each other to ease all the quarrels that we've had.

this time, it feels like we're so distant and faraway. there seems to be a gap in between us and it's like we've gotten so sick of going through the same things again and again ... that we don't see the need to do anything anymore.

it seems like whatever you've said this time is different from whatever you've said before. this feeling is so intense.

i'm escaping from whatever you've said. i'm just burying myself in work to stop myself from thinking of whatever you've told me. i don't wish to think anymore.

):

there's so many things that i want to say but i can't seem to find the right words. the feelings that i'm having now is so complex.

it seems like even the group that i consider as my closest and the best of friends ... doesn't really seem to be that close anymore.

we used to spend so much time together back then in secondary school and now it dawn upon me that we can meet up like once a month or probably longer than that? when we do meet up, we say it's because we miss each other but do we really miss each other that much? if not, why can we go to the extent of not meeting up for such a long time?

i know that we're all busy with our lives but the closeness that we used to share is really drifting apart. sometimes, i don't even know what's up with the rest of their lives and what they've been through or what they are going through currently. the happy moments and the sad moments that we used to share doesn't seem to be happening now. i don't even know what is happening to them, at this very moment.

this is like the cold, hard reality that everyone has to go through in life. many would say, we have to go through all this and it's just parts and parcels in life. i wonder why do we have to experience all this in the first place. experiencing all this makes me grow or just because this is life?

i have so many doubts about my life now and i can't even clear them. maths exams are nearing and i can't afford to fail again cos' i'll be disappointing my family and my parents. they're changing their syllabus and they'll be including A Maths in the exams next year. 30 percent of A Maths! how can i possibly understand A Maths when i already suck at E Maths? i have to pass, no matter what.

as for pp, i finally got the interview with shirlyn done. i'm just typing down all the answers into a document before i start working on my report. no one's helping my with my posters already. i'll need to start on it as soon as exams are over and after i submit the report.

i hope i'll make it through.

a figure of the past, a figment of my imagination.

[Layer One: On the Outside]
Name: Boh Yeh Ying
Birth Date: 27 October 1988
Current Status: happily attached to wei lun. (:
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: brown (the black roots are growing out though.)
Righty or Lefty: righty but wei lun's a lefty! :x

[Layer Two: On the Inside]
Your Heritage: cheena piang.
Your Fear: losing my loved ones.
Your Weakness: petty, bad tempered, contradicting, self-centered, unwilling to compromise.
Your Perfect Pizza : i don't really like pizzas but i prefer the thin crisp ones. (:

[Layer Three: Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow]
Your First Thought This Morning: shit! i'm late for lava's lesson. ):
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: i want to wake up on time for lava's lesson.
Your Most Missed Memories: the days i've spent in secondary school.

[Layer Four: Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
McDonald or Burger King: mcdonald
Single or Group Dates: both (group dates with besties and single dates with the boyfriend.)
Adidas or Nike: adidas
Tea or Nestea: tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: both

[Layer Five: Do You...]
Smoke: nope
Curse: of course, i do it everyday.
Take showers: although i hate taking showers but yes i do take showers.
Have a crush: is my boyfriend considered as a crush?
Think you are in love: I AM IN LOVE!
Go to school: yes but i'm always late. ):
Want to get married: yes but i tend to have second thoughts at times.
Believe in yourself: yes but i can be pessimistic too.
Think you are a health freak: i want to be a health freak.

[Layer Six: In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: yes
Gone to the mall: yes but i have no cash to spend. ):
Been on stage: yes! for hey gorgeous! (the rp episode will be airing on the 29th of this month!)
Eaten sushi: i think so?
Dyed your hair: nope

[Layer Seven: Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: nope. i want to strip for my friends but they can't bear to look. ):
Changed who you were to fit in: for the better. (:

[Layer Eight: Age]
You are hoping to be married at the age of: 28

[Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy]
Best Eye Color: brown
Best Hair Color: brown
Short Hair or Long Hair: as long as it looks good. (:

[Layer Ten: What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: yawning in lava's class.
1 Hour Ago: presenting in class.
4.5 Hours Ago: waiting for jerry to meet me for lunch.
1 Month Ago: still happily in love with wei lun.
1 Year Ago: in poly.

[Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence]
I Love: my family, my besties and my boyfriend.
I Feel: tired
I Hate: lava
I Hide: my feelings
I Need: wei lun

[Layer Twelve: Tag five people]
1) angel
2) adrian
3) yin
4) kim
5) fiona

蔡依林 - 非卖品

当时怎么爱上你的
朋友说的　我微笑听着
爱情的剧本原来就没规则
现在变不重要了　结局揭晓了
后来当朋友　你我也只是说说

饰演着好演员的我　说不遗憾是骗人的
那些爱与不爱　还在颤栗着
我明白的　只是谁来导演呢
勇敢是你教的　眼泪是我的　快乐都假的

我想找个答案　如果爱被出卖
到最后　非卖品　有什么剩下
太好强　又太傻　受了伤　当赠品留下
保重的坚强　笑的那么自然　悲伤也放进橱窗

爱没有答案　再倔强再不放
到最后被看穿　一个人逞强
说不恨　是骗人　我不再隐瞒爱的伤痕
不想转过身　不必回头地承认
非卖品是爱最美的灵魂

i totally love this new song that is playing in my blog from jolin's latest album, agent j. (:

in fact, i like all her songs except for some of them, such as bravo lover. i think it totally sucks and it sounds super awkward and yes, my boyfriend says the dance moves resembles the singapore work out! hahaha.

i feel that jolin did put in a lot of hard work for this album, especially from this video that i found in youtube.

if i'm her, i might have probably given up half way and quit my career as a super star. look at how tight the rope is actually grasping her leg! worst of all, she is bring turned a hell lot of rounds like a child on a merry go round. i would have spasms and cough out vomit if i were her. all she did was to only cry. i really respect her hands down for the effort she puts in her career. i would have to say, she's more than a diva or an average bimbo. (:

anyway, i added the face book networking application recently and although it can be quite fun, it can really be a chore at the same time. you have to constantly add new applications and maintain them at the same time. there's so many of them and it can really get troublesome and frustrating sometimes. nevertheless, it's still fun though.

got to turn in now. i have classes at 8.30 in the morning and i have a long day later.

good night world.

STRESS STRESS STRESS!

i've been studying non-stop for the music theory test as soon as i got home. i'm taking down notes so that i can keep referring back to them in the future, if i ever need them. although it's just a few problems but there seems to be sooooo much that is needed to be taken down.

it's almost 5 am in the morning and i am still not sleeping yet. ):

the movie with the boyfriend earlier was dead boring. i don't mean that he's boring but the show itself is. you all should never ever catch the dead girl in the cinemas. you'll end up almost falling asleep like how my wei lun did.

if you all are looking for funny and hilarious movies to watch in the cinemas, death at a funeral, balls of fury and underdog can be seriously considered. i highly recommend death at a funeral though.

IT'S FUCKING FUNNY! :D

on a brighter note, the day was well spent with the boyfriend cos i did my maths revision for hours in starbucks! another topic down! not forgetting another topic that was covered yesterday, when i dropped by samantha's house to work on our maths. i hope i'll pass this time round! (:

and did i forget to mention that samantha is a SUGAR ADDICT? :o

she has all kinds of candies and sweets in her house and she kept offering me la. i laughed at her cos' i think she'll probably die of diabetes one day. now i think i probably would too cos' i'm always hanging out with her. :(

she even told me that she spent 50 bucks at candy empire just solely on candies. for me, i think the money would be more well spent if it's on clothes and food (including candies, but not that much la). :D

anyway, samantha is my new friend in class and my maths khaki! she's a really nice girl, even though the first impression that i had of her wasn't very pleasant. luckily she didn't mind, heng lor.

okay i am going back to study. i have school at 8.30 in the morning later lor. tmd.

i've got the power!

hello october.

finally a new blog skin! (and not to mention, a new entry.)

the theme of this blog skin is see me fly and yes, it's meant to be a motivational blog skin for me. don't believe me? take a look at the column that says 'materialistic' and look through the goals i have for myself. it's not all those fanciful stuffs that you see girls wishing for, such as bags, clothes, hand phones, laptops and blah blah blah ... the list just goes on.

it's some tiny goals that i hope to achieve and i hope i can make all of them happen before i change this blog skin to a new one. i can't wait to strike them off one by one! (:

anyway, this entry is specially written for my super hero.

in this way, he won't have to look at the previous entry i've written and left hanging there for such a long long time.



love you, superhero! ♥

and not forgetting,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUMMY! ♥

bye bye september.