sometimes, i hate being born as an emotional person. even though my emotions help me in someways throughout my life so far, i really hate the cruel feelings that my emotions has to offer to me at times. one such example would probably be what i am feeling now.

the feeling of being lonely.

i know there are many people who cares about me and i have plenty of friends around me to take away this feeling that i feel from time to time. i really appreciate it and i thank them for that. but sometimes, when i watch them finding their happiness and seeing them smile from the bottom of their hearts when they're in love, i start to think ... where's mine?

looking at the people around me falling in love, i'm really happy for them. the little things they blog and the little actions they do for each other is so sweet. sometimes, i can be pretty observant and that probably explains why i can detect such things so easily. probably, it's all this little things that i see that makes me feel so lonely. it's not something i can control and i think it's just a natural human behavior. everyone feels empty and lonely from time to time, am i right? (:

yet, i don't like this feeling that is slowly eating into me. how complicating.

my history in love is probably the most dramatic ones among many of my girl friends. being almost cheated out of my money, being cheated out of my feelings, being cheated because of someone's else looks. there's so much so much that i've experienced in this two short years ever since i've graduated from secondary school. i've gain experiences that help me to grow and mature after every fall, but sometimes i wonder how much more do i have to go through?

i'm only nineteen but i think i'm really strong at times. (:

i feel better writing all this out. i'm ready to make myself all busy again to stop such feelings from eating into me.

her hidden thoughts, you're really the best listener i've ever had. ♥