hello lovelies. ♥

what do you all think about the new skin and the song that comes along with it? it's the current favourite song on my play list and i just totally dig the song! as for the skin, i'm currently into something more 'lynnda-ish' recently. i like vintage wallpapers and anything that's simple and bright. totally like what lynnda will like eh? but it's nice isn't it? (:

two zero zero eight hasn't been what i've expected so far. i've wanted this year to be much more fruitful and colourful than the previous years. i wanted life to be more fulfilling this year and i hope more achievements can be made so that the sense of satisfaction that i've always yearn for will simply come along with it. i'll feel much more happier this way ... much more complete than how i've felt for the past two years.

sadly, i didn't know that i couldn't handle both work and school at the same time when i thought i initially could. it was seriously tough cos i was working 5 days per week. i'm always rushing off to work after tests and school and then, rushing home to finish up my assignments and projects. gradually, this lifestyle finally took a toll on me and i grew lazier and lazier. because of this, i neglected my studies and i've stopped attending school for almost 3 weeks. ):

yes i know. this is totally an unfruitful lifestyle like what i've wanted in the first place. although i am totally immersed in work and earning more cash, studies are still the most important to me and it is still my responsibility to complete my education cos i am still a student. studies should be my main priority and work should come after that.

YES I KNOW!

but before you start defaming me and thinking that i am a useless and lazy arsehole, why don't you start thinking from my point of view?

looking back at the current education system i am actually in, i finally understood what cynthia meant when she told me that she is sick of this education system.

LEARNING WITH A DIFFERENCE.

(that's the damn motto of republic polytechnic.)

probably you all aren't in it and that's why you can't really see things from my point of view. sometimes i wish i'm not learning with a difference and i'm actually learning in a conventional education system. there'll be lectures and tutorials to make sure that i learn something and bring home something at the end of the day. how i wish there's exams to gauge my understanding and level of learning. i totally wouldn't mind having tons of tests, projects and assignments to make me feel the mad rush and stress of school life.

sadly, there's nothing like this in my lovely school. we only have daily gradings, daily assignments and a truckload of tests every semester. i'm seriously NOT learning anything from such an education system and i am sick of plastering smiles during presentations and trying to smoke my way through to get an A when i know nothing in the first place. i detest the fact that we need to be constantly putting up a good performance during class and as long as you know how to do that, you'll get a good grade for the day. you don't even need to put in any effort (other than getting your butt out of bed and going to school, of course.) and the good grades are all yours!

where's the FUCKING challenge i ask you?

and seriously, i'm not the only one in school who feels like this and i miss text books ... just like how shu rin misses them too. ):

on a brighter note, i've passed my maths! even though it's a C6 but i really satisfied cos i know my standards since young when it comes to maths. i was thinking that i was going to flunk it again this time and was praying and weeping in my covers to god and was hoping that he'll bless me with a pass. thank god ... i made it this time round. (:

a big THANK YOU to everyone who've helped me throughout the years in my maths! be it through actions or through speech, as long as you've encouraged me and pushed me on and played a part in helping me to make turn it into a pass ... THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU. ♥

now, it's time to start picking up the bits and pieces and to start moving forward again.

i'm going to school tomorrow. (: