forever twenty-one ;

你最近还好吗?

2009-12-04T03:09:00.004+08:00

Bumped into someone close to you today and the route home was filled with random thoughts once more.

After having a proper conversation with him, I realized how fast things have changed within the past month.

How well you've been doing, how fast your life has moved on and how busy you are.

It's been a long time.

你最近还好吗?

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话

地址写的是心底 你能不能收到它

天有点冷 风有点大 城市宁静而喧哗

这一个冬天我得一个人走回家

问自己习惯了吗

没有你每到夜裏回声变得好大

有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗

是不是也在思念裏挣扎

你说会记得我 还记得吗

你最近还好吗

忙碌吗累吗 心还会痛吗

如果真不得已忘了我

快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达

旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬

昨天远了 明天还长 回忆模糊但巨大

这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

问自己习惯了吗

没有你每到夜裏回声变得好大

有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗

是不是也在思念裏挣扎

你说会记得我 还记得吗

你最近还好吗

忙碌吗累吗 心还会痛吗

如果真不得已忘了我

快向快乐出发

你最近还好吗

是不是也在思念裏挣扎

你说会记得我 还记得吗

你最近还好吗

忙碌吗累吗 心还会痛吗

如果真不得已忘了我

快向快乐出发

You made a right choice in leaving me because if it wasn't for that choice you made, I wouldn't have picked my life where I left off, became stronger and having the life I am having now.

I realize how you become more like a fading dream as each day passes and it's as if you never really existed in my life. Only when the memories are stirred, then will I remember.

Your looks, scent and voice seems to be fading away.

You are that faraway from me now.

In life, you don't always end up with the one you love.

2009-12-02T02:21:00.003+08:00

I watched Mulan with Remus at AMK Hub today. The movie was a little draggy at the start but nevertheless, touching. Despite knowing the fact that it was going to be a sad ending through reviews, I actually liked the tear jerking ending. It reflects a lot about reality and it thought me something.

In life, you don't always end up with the one you love.

I thought about you again today. On the way out, I tried my luck and followed routes and went to places you might be but I didn't manage to catch a glimpse of you. Somehow, a part of me wants to see you again. A part of me hope that our paths will cross again, like how it brought us together.

But I wonder if I were to see you, how would I feel knowing that your heart has another? Would I be able to walk away feeling unaffected or will I just end up feeling empty, like a stranger you've never met?

I've been avoiding places we've been to and praying that our paths will never cross again, but today I wanted to see you again. For once. But I guess the more you hope for something, the more it never comes. Because if it was meant to be, it will be and forcing it to come your way, will never turn it into reality.

Today is a memorable day for you and her both, you really love her don't you? But does she love you the same way like I do?

Wounds that take a longer time to heal and scars that become reminders and reflections with age.

2009-11-27T01:49:00.003+08:00

Blogs are misleading.

They reflect what you feel at the moment, not what you feel everyday. It's just a nagging thought at the back of your mind, you just want to get it out of your chest and channel out how you feel at that point.

I've found my closure and I don't miss you.

But can I say, that I've been thinking of you a little too much recently, or should I say the memories we shared?

I'm just tired and sick. I've been working too hard and I'm too exposed to the people around you and I've been hearing things about you. That's why.

I don't want you to pop into my mind every night before I sleep and I don't want you to be the last thought on my mind before I turn in.

Go away, take away those memories.

For a moment, just a moment.

2009-11-18T03:02:00.002+08:00

They captured the moment, we lost the love and now I'm haunted by the memories.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.

2009-11-14T03:19:00.007+08:00

Facebook gave me a random quote today:

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.

That totally matches how I feel tonight.

I wish I wouldn't have to come to know about what is happening in your life because knowing or not knowing doesn't change anything and knowing more only cuts the wound a little deeper each day when it's already healing. Therefore, I really wish I won't come to know about anything about you in any form but I still happen to see and hear it every now and then. That really makes me slip back from time to time, times like tonight. But I know it's a passing phase and it's just a form of emotion that overwhelms me for a minute, I'll be fine in no time.

The week has been busy and rather fulfilling and I've been out almost everyday. Even though it really tires me out, I feel really happy. That's because when I'm busy, there won't be a chance for me to think about anything and I can drift off to sleep easily because of how exhausted I am. This week wasn't perfect but I know it's improving and next week will be better.

It's been a month since you're gone and you seem happier without me, I will be happy too. :)

Words ain't cheap, they're free.

2009-11-11T10:38:00.004+08:00

Back in school for my internship training on a Wednesday morning when I don't have any classes. Got to wake up as early as 7.45 am and that's way earlier than any normal schooling timings I've ever had.

Hopefully, the internship training sets a direction for me in my life because I don't really want to feel so lost on what to do with my future anymore. I want a better life, no longer a normal life. I just want everything to fall into place.

Feeling a little moody today because of some events that's happening around my friends recently and coincidentally, it sets me thinking about my life as a whole.

Just wondering, how come mankind tends to cheat in one way or another? Be it on a large or a small scale, it just tends to happen no matter how long a relationship is. Can there even be any trust between two person once it's being broken? If it's going to be broken, then why should there even be trust to start with?

It just sets me thinking from a women's point of view, how much trust we can afford to put in a relationship and how much we need to hold back at times. Having absolute trust in a person, will it backfire?

And worst of all, I'm beginning to have this screwed up mindset about men and their words because of what is happening around me. I cannot seem to believe and trust whatever they say. It's like every word spoken is just for the sake of saying to either flirt or to make me feel good in a way. Never a heartfelt word spoken with sincerity. It just seems harder to be able to trust their words and their flowery language. Saying it is easy but yet, they can't do anything to prove it with their actions.

Next time, I shall trust actions and never words, for words ain't cheap but free.

I saw something I shouldn't see this morning. Something I should no longer be bothered about. Blame it on my curiosity, it really does kill the cat and it just manage to kill another part of me.

Sigh, why is this happening?

The day you went away.

2009-11-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do

Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

And we were letting go of something special
Something we'll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know

The day you went away
The day you went away

Why do we never know what we've got 'til it's gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

The day you went away
The day you went away

If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it.

2009-10-29T01:45:00.006+08:00

Amanda's not feeling her best today, or should I say she hasn't been feeling her best in a long time.

I can seriously feel how she feels now and the pain she has been going through all along. Don't ask me why I know how it feels, that's probably because I've gone through such intense pain before. In fact, the wounds are still fresh and although it has pretty much healed already, I can still taste the aftertaste of what it leaves behind.

It's amazing how your feelings take on a rollercoaster ride, from being hopeful to one minute and gradually turning into despair when you realize that the person is no longer coming back after you gave in your all. Then, as you slowly begin to accept reality and you prepare yourself for the worst, the worst scenario is being presented right in front of you - they moved on from you to someone else within such a short timeframe. You know that's coming but you still feel anger and angst within you, but that is the exact driving force that spurs you to move on. Because it made you see for yourself how unworthy this person is and how much they don't deserve your love. Suddenly, you feel that your emotions aren't interlinked with theirs and you are no longer affected by whatever they do anymore. You're not bothered by what's happening in their lives and you think about them lesser everyday until eventually, you can separate your mind from them and from what you are doing. Things can be presented right in front of you but you just can't seem to link your emotions and heart back to them anymore. It's just this sense of calmness and peacefulness that you feel within yourself, you already moved on.

Sometimes, when you're alone you just slip into the past without notice and the memories just keeps pouring back. You start to dwell on how things could possibly be, how it could have been changed and how happy those times were. It's not wrong to slip back into the past and let the memories take over your mind for a while if it helps to ease the emptiness you're feeling, but you should never let it consume you. You need to snap out of it and you shouldn't let it bring you down and affect you any further.

Why should we be here feeling a sense of emptiness when the person you're thinking about is leading a much better life than you right now? Have you ever thought you're not even in his/her thoughts at all and they have already moved on to someone else? If that's the case, then why bother feeling so horrible for one minute of your life when that person is feeling happy at that very moment? When they no longer care, why should we be bothered? If it doesn't change anything when you're feeling so horrible, then why bother?

Sometimes, when we're stuck in the situation, we are unable to see it clearly for ourselves but after moving on and looking at things from another position, we'll come to understand that things do fall into place and you will be able to see the situation in a different perspective and in a new light. That's when you understand that it's not a big deal after all and whatever you're feeling now, isn't as bad as how you think it will be.

Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so.

That's exactly how I am feeling right now and I know you can feel this way too, bestie. We are feeling the same way back then and I want you to feel how I feel right now as well.

I'll always be here for you and you can count on me. Stay strong because you are and no one can knock you down, except for yourself. ♥

Forever Twenty-One.

2009-10-27T02:22:00.006+08:00

It's October 27th and I just turned twenty-one.

I wish this moment can last forever and I can be forever twenty-one but I know it's impossible because time passes and everyone moves forward with time, never backwards.

Therefore, at this point in time, I just want to remember this moment and pen down all my feelings so that in the many years to come, when there's a day I feel lost, troubled and confused, I can smile and reminisce how I felt during this time and remember the promises I made to myself on this day and hopefully, feel good about what I've become.

As I take my first step into adulthood, if there is ever a day I lose myself in the process because of how harsh reality is, I just want this post to remind me of who I really am and what makes up me as a person.

Even though I know I might change during the process, be it my perspectives or my characteristics, I would never want to forget who I am.

Deep down within me, I still see a little girl being touched by the love of Prince Eric and Ariel The Little Mermaid when she read that story for the first time and hoping that a fairy tale like hers would come into her life. I just wish to have that pure love of innocence and simplicity within me even though reality will try to change us into something else. It's that feeling I want to keep for the rest of my life be it through childhood, teenagehood or adulthood. We can face many obstacles along the way and we might want to give up, but times like this just keep us going and reminds us of what we really are and what we are capable of.

Be yourself and love yourself for who you are and if you ever feel like giving up, just remember that what doesn't kills you just makes you stronger. :)

If you're someone whom I've lost contact over the years and you're not here by my side to share this moment with me, I'd like to thank you for being part of my life once. If you're a random stranger who have helped me in anyway, thanks for lending that help when I needed it at that moment. If you're someone whom I detest or you detest me equally, thanks for shaping me to what I've become. If you're someone whom I used to love and you used to love me, thanks for giving me your love faithfully and truthfully at that moment. If you're someone who still loves me in anyway and you're still by my side, then I can tell you I will do my best to make you stay and thank you for loving me for who I am and being with me all this while to share this moment with me.

Hopefully, changes I want to make and the improvements I want out of my life will happen and what I've decided to do from now on will make it happen. May everything fall into place and life after twenty-one as an adult will be a smooth-sailing one with a sense of purpose and direction.

Happy 21st Birthday, Yeh Ying. :)

Because I love you so.

2009-10-15T02:20:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't be thinking too much but I still can't help to talk to herhiddenthoughts about you tonight.

As you lay asleep in bed right now, I really miss you so.

I don't wish to keep reminding you of the situation we're in and the decision you are bent on making. I don't even intend to talk to you about it anymore. I really want you to be happy, with or without me. I am not going to force you to change your mindset, but neither am I going to change mine. Just like how you're asking me to face reality and to sort things out, I just wish you'll respect the fact that I will keep you with me and I will still be here, waiting for you.

So even if you are going to look at me as a friend, I just want to keep you in my heart and to be there for you when you need me. I won't give you up ...

... because I really love you so much.

If I have to live with the pain of losing you, I will rather not live at all.

2009-10-13T21:39:00.005+08:00

I never really blogged much about you, but even though I don't say much, you're the one I love the most among all.

A lot of true feelings I have about you is hidden and unseen to others, but I'm sure you can feel it deep down. Those that I show openly to you and others are always negative feelings that you can never stand, all the heavy emotions and tears that is choking you and this relationship for the past few months.

I never really understood the true meaning whenever you say you're going to leave if this continues, and it hit me so hard this time when you turned your back on me this time. So hard I cannot breathe ever since you told me you're leaving me for real. Day after day, I get back the same answer and I go to sleep night after night, hoping that I will wake up from this bad dream but I never do. Sometimes, I wish I never have to wake up to another day so I won't have to face this before me. I don't wanna go through the day with you being so cold to me and not knowing where you're going.

I miss you calling me baby.

I miss you telling me wherever you go, whatever you're doing and whatever your plans are.

I miss you showing how much you care.

I miss reporting to you everyday.

I miss your possessiveness.

I miss your jealousy.

I miss your bad temper.

I miss how you scold me with your vulgarities.

I miss your "okie" because you kept using "okay" on me nowadays.

I miss our love love, our sleep sleep, our sayang sayang everyday.

I miss you calling me a good girl.

I miss your smiley faces in your text messages.

I miss the way you hold my hands while you tickle it.

I miss your rough pair of hands.

I miss the scent of your CK Be.

I miss how I can bury my face into your shoulders.

I miss how you hate me naming you things but end up using the names I created.

I miss Harry.

I miss your generous kisses on the forehead and lips.

There is so much things I miss about you and I need all of it now, but I know you can't give it to me and I won't force you. I just wish you wouldn't keep telling me that this is it, that this is the end. This is the final decision you have made. Don't tell me that this is hard on me and I don't need to go through all of this and I can just be myself. In a way, I deserved all this didn't I? When I could have just kept my mouth shut and swallowed it down the other night, then this wouldn't have happened right?

There is so much I wanna tell you everyday but I don't dare to flood you with my emotions. I don't wanna be a drama mama anymore, I wanna change. I am really bent on changing and I really wanna show it to you but I just don't have a chance to prove it. I just want to give you some space to breathe and some freedom, I don't want to keep reminding you of the same problems everyday but I am so scared that when I give it to you, you'll get use to how things are and eventually, you'll just fly away from me and never come back to me and I will lose you forever. But when I don't, I'm so afraid I will drive you into a corner and you'll just back off further.

I guess since talking to you about it doesn't change anything and it only stresses you out further, I'll just have to live in your shadow. Hopefully, you'll take note of me again like how you did on April 25th and I can shine again.

If I have to live with the pain of losing you, I will rather not live at all.

Baby, all I need is your heart to keep me going but can you hear me?

Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now.

2009-08-01T00:12:00.014+08:00

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known, I should have known

That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

Baby I was naíve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance,
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings
Now I know

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess
This ain't our fairytale
I'm gonna find someone, someday
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your White Horse
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.

Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh
Try and catch me now
Oh
It's too late
To catch me now.

off to hong kong!

2009-07-15T02:10:00.001+08:00

Just a quick post before I fly off to Hong Kong in another few hours time.

For those who aren't sure about what's happening, my sister won free tickets to Hong Kong in her company's lucky draw and I'm going to fly over there in a few hours! Kinda excited by the thought now 'cos I've been there before and I know how great Hong Kong is. I'm looking forward to the trip since it's the sales period over there right now and I wanna shop till I drop! Their stuffs are already really cheap during non-sales period and now with the sales period going on, it's going to be dirt cheap for sure! I haven't plan out my shopping list though, shall plan it on board the plane!

As excited as the thought can get, I'm think I'm really going to miss you when I'm gone. Thanks for squeezing out so much time for me today and for travelling to and fro just to spend some more time with me. I'm really happy to have you by my side and just being around you really makes me happy. Thanks for compromising and for changing so much recently, you know what I mean. Please take care of yourself and you better be a good boy and don't misbehave when I'm gone.

I love you and I'll miss you baby. <3

Off to nap now, back on Sunday!

Imy.

2009-07-07T13:32:00.006+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday, Miss Aw. :)

Fourth day in a row - I miss you and wish you're here.

revenge is sweet.

2009-07-07T00:48:00.002+08:00

Flooding my emotions onto you was just a way of expression but since you choose to not acknowledge how I feel, sometimes I have to resort to other means to get your attention. In turn, you use painful words to hurt me and make my tears fall. The more you do it, the more I wanna inflict pain on you to let you have a taste of what I go through.

I know this might sound mean but sometimes seeing how you squirm like a pathetic worm, makes me feel happy from inside out. Hearing how desperate you sound leaves a tiny part of me wanting for more. At least it makes me feel better.

Getting back at you might be deemed as a selfish act, but haven't you been doing the same all this while?

You're selfish as ever, just like me. We just love ourselves too much that's why we always wants things to be done our way and that's why we always fail to love others.

You're in no way better than me 'cos you care about yourself more than me and until I see a change, I don't understand why I have to place you as a priority in my life anymore.

I'm sorry, but revenge is sweet.

It's raining broken hearts tonight.

2009-07-06T16:49:00.017+08:00

First and foremost, happy birthday Brenda darling. :)

Today was supposed to be a really busy day for me.

I'm supposed to wake up at 7 am for an interview for Cotton On at Toa Payoh's Library before heading back to school for lessons. After that, I'm supposed to meet up with the girls for some shopping but nothing pull through.

I'm down with a cold and a cough. Not a very positive thing when there's H1N1 lurking around the school nowadays. If it worsens, I'll have to see the doctor tomorrow, get a MC and apply for Leave of Absence from the school as soon as possible. I'm trying my best not to skip anymore classes so I'm not really keen in getting LOA from the school. Furthermore, I just wanna get this over and done with as soon as possible. But because of this damn cough and flu, I stayed awake throughout the night and only manage to sleep at 7 am in the morning. Thus, I had to skip the interview, school and even the meet up with the girls later. :(

I really hope I'll feel better and I can get back to classes tomorrow.

Nowadays, I've been feeling very much alone. Dealing with my emotions by myself even though I have someone by my side. Insecurities, disappointments and fears - they all happen because I love someone. I don't have much control over my emotions, I know that. Sometimes, for fear that I might flood someone because I love that person too much, I just want to shut my emotions and the love I feel to myself. Yet, even when I do voice out the issues, they never seem to be addressed. I thought they should be addressed because isn't it a package that comes together with love? And together with that, it comes with care and concern? Doesn't love make you miss someone and you'll feel like seeing that person everyday and you'll just want to be by their side? How come I don't feel that coming anymore?

Now that I'm sick, I don't see much concern coming anymore. I only see and hear words but never actions that are taken. It hurt so much last night that I just wanna cut off all ties and stop whatever that is happening right now.

I just want to be free from all this heart wrenching emotions and from you, 'cos you're the cause of it.

It's raining broken hearts tonight.

Moments when thank you are never enough.

2009-07-02T00:29:00.007+08:00

I know I've been away for months and have taken a really long hiatus, but I really feel the need to speak to someone now.

So just let me speak to you, you know how you always make me feel better.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you think it's going to kill you? So much that you think the pain is insane 'cos it hurts so much and you think you can't breathe? You cried so much that it makes you feel like your head is going to explode any minute. That your heart is feeling sour and it's being weighed down by gravity and you cannot even do anything at that moment.

I do.

As much as it hurts, take a deep breath and let it all out. Be it the tears in your eyes, the throbbing pain in your heart or the sighs that you exhale whenever your heart feel heavy, just let it all out. You'll feel better. You'll still see the light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, you will still move on with or without that person. Life always moves on and so must you. Don't stop here.

I'm sorry for coming to you at times like this. For now I know, you will always be here for me. And I know how you always make me feel better after talking to you.

It's really sad when I have to type all this in here to remind me on what I should do to divert all the pain, sadness and unhappiness that I am feeling tonight. But at the very least, it guides me onto the right track and it stops the falling tears and the pain that I feel at the end of the entry.

Thank you, herhiddenthoughts.

Save me from myself.

2009-02-05T00:06:00.006+08:00

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting with
Your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
From myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Well some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm crying
'Cause when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself
From myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
A better woman to myself
To myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

Happy 11th months, baby. :)

Better in Time. :)

2009-02-02T00:10:00.111+08:00

Here's some random videos to share with you guys. Since I'm always watching videos or dramas online half the time, I know this isn't random at all. Anyway, I came across this unsigned duo on youtube who sing covers and they do it surprisingly well as a pair.

Here's Rin on the Rox singing I Hate This Part by Pussycat Dolls:

Halo by Beyonce:

If I Were A Boy by Beyonce:

I think they sing it way better than some of the original singers, probably because I really love how their harmonics comes together as a pair.

Anyway, the tanned girl on the left is Erin and the girl on the right in Roxanne. Both of them are Filipinos but Roxanne is half Filipino and White. By the way, if you can't identify the fact that they don't resemble each other at all, well, they're actually best friends and not twins.

They sing amazingly well and I do hope their talents are recognised soon. Click here for their youtube link if you wanna check out more videos.

Anyway, Chinese New Year this year is the most fruitful and happiest among all that I've spent over the years. Although it was really simple and there wasn't much visiting as usual, I had lots of fun during the two reunion dinners. One that took place a week earlier and another that took place on the day itself.

During the first day, I went down to the famous Guan Yin temple at Bugis with my mother and sister to pray for well-being in the New Year. It was packed like sardines but it was worth the wait. We went to Cineleisure and had dinner at Hong Kong Cafe (Luckily, I knew Alan and he gave us good seats!) before watching Love Matters. The show wasn't as nice as the rest of Jack Neo's movie I've seen. It was just average I suppose.

We reached home at around 1.30 am in the morning because we thought they'll be Night Rider that night but it slipped our mind that it was a Public Holiday and not a Public Holiday Eve. They should have Night Rider anyway since it was still a holiday the next day, but whatever.

The second day was spent at Grams house and after the visiting, we went home for steamboat cos' my brother and sister in law came over with my nephews!

During the rest of the week of Chinese New Year, my nephews came over to stay over for a period of 4-5 days and I had so much fun with them around. The best thing is that they're coming over to stay this week again! Yay!

I really love my life recently cos' it's really back on track. My body clock is getting better cos' I sleep earlier and wake up earlier. I no longer skip meals and I have breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday with fruits as well. I'm getting more and more obedient and I like to spend time with my family more. My self-discipline is getting better and I have plans for my day as well. I hope I can keep up with this! I know it's something really ordinary but sometimes, being ordinary is harder than you think. :)

Anyway, I've been doing facial masks recently and here's one of them recommended by the famous Taiwan variety show, Nu Ren Wo Zui Da. It's has a really cute name called, Wo De Mei Li Ri Ji. My sister bought it online and she shared some of it with me. She bought some bird nest facial essence mask recently and I've used it as well. The aftermath is slightly stickier than Wo De Mei Li Ri Ji, but it's still good cos' it whitens and brightens my complexion. :)

I seriously don't give a damn whether do I look horrendous here.

Anyway, for more pictures, check out Facebook cos' I won't be uploading them here anymore. :)

Pussycat Dolls - I Hate This Part
Uploaded by The-Pussycat-Dolls

We're driving slow
Through the snow
On fifth avenue
And right now radio's
All that we can hear

Now we ain't talked since we left
It's so overdue
It's cold outside
But between us its worse in here

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers

I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

Everyday seven takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know (i know) this is (this is) the part where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers

I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothings wrong
But there is no more time for lies
Cause I see sunset in your eyes

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers

I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

But I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I hate this part

I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it

Oh
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here

And I'm really beginning to fall for this song right here.

恭贺新春, 新年快乐!

2009-01-26T01:03:00.001+08:00

I hate applying nail polish. I really really do.

I love having colours on my nails but they always end up being hideous on my hands cos' I have no idea how to go about applying. Seriously, I'm probably the kind who'll just pay to get my nails done or just end up having no colours on it at all.

Anyway, I had two reunion dinners this year, one with my relatives one week before Chinese New Year and the other with my own family on the eve of Chinese New Year.

Photos will be up on Facebook SOON.

I'm kinda contended with Chinese New Year this year though it's getting more and more simple every year.

I'm really beginning to fall for Spring cos' it symbolises blossoms and hope. :)

Back to Spring Waltz, my current drama addiction.

This sounds cliche, but Happy 牛 (New) Year to all the fellow Chinese folks out there! :)

(P/S: About the design - 己丑 [Ji Chou], Formal Name for This Year - Head & Body, 2009 - Eyes & Nostrils.)

每次我總一個人走, 交叉路口自己生活.

2009-01-24T17:09:00.002+08:00

每次我總一個人走
交叉路口自己生活
這次你卻說帶我走某個角落就你和我

像土壤抓緊花的迷惑像天空纏綿雨的洶湧
在你的身後謹慎的步伐每個背影每個場景
都有發過的夢

帶我走到遙遠的以後
帶走我一個人自轉的寂寞
帶我走就算我的愛你的自由都將成為泡沫
我不怕帶我走

每次我總獨自遠走
保持沉默不皺眉頭
這次你卻說一起走
如此溫柔從此以後
像土壤抓緊花的迷惑
像天空纏綿雨的洶湧
在你的身後謹慎的步伐每個背影
每個場景都有發過的夢

帶我走到遙遠的以後
帶走我一個人自轉的寂寞
帶我走就算我的愛你的自由都將成為泡沫
我不怕帶我走

白忙流過漆黑盡頭潮汐襲來浪花轉動
雲在海岸結成了膜
成為草香草原其中又在傳來一滴彩虹
可在心中還帶著脈搏

帶我走到遙遠的以後
帶走我一個人自轉的寂寞
帶我走就算我的愛你的自由都將成為泡沫
我不怕帶我走
帶我走就算我的愛你的自由都將成為泡沫
帶我走

I know I'm not alone this time and I have friends who're going through the same thing with me right now and I've had friends who have gone through this before too, but it just gets really heart-wrenching when you're experiencing it yourself.

When you turn and look everywhere, everyone is talking about the same topic. Everyone is asking you the same questions. Everyone is saying the same thing.

But sadly, I can't voice it out and give an honest answer. Cos' I feel too ashamed, knowing that I could have done it and yet I didn't. I choose not to back then.

Everyone puts on a happy smile and I am smiling back at them, but deep down I feel so alone.

It really sucks to be stuck in the same spot when everyone is moving on.

It sucks even more to know what's in store for me in 2009 and yet I know I'm facing it alone.

每次我總一個人走, 交叉路口自己生活.

Up and about on a Sunday morning.

2009-01-11T11:03:00.003+08:00

Surprise surprise. I'm up at freaking 8.30 am on a Sunday morning! The air seems to smell especially sweet in the morning and surprisingly, I like this kinda feeling. :)

Did I mention the Minister of Health dropped by my house in the morning?

He came and said Hello and left after a few minutes. Mummy wanted to complain some stuffs to him about the neighbourhood but didn't get a chance cos when she was done changing, he's gone. So only Dad managed to talk to him. I only got to see his back view cos I rushed into the room to tell Mum and when I came out, he was going off already.

Anyway, the reason why I'm up this early is because I can't get to sleep after a night of Chomp Chomp and board gaming at The Mind Cafe with Ronn, Cynthia and her sisters last night. I just slept for a few hours and I'm up but never mind, I have lots to do anyway.

The sad thing is my nephews fell sick and they won't be coming over later. Sucks to be up so early and yet there's no one for me to play with.

Anyway, it's alright. I have tons of things to do anyway.

Spring Cleaning
~~Go Down to the Market With My Sister~~
~~Shop for Chinese New Year Goodies With My Sister at Chinatown~~
~~Meet Ricky~~
Watch Charmed
~~Update Music Library~~
Update Ipod Touch Applications
Check Out Mac OS Online
~~Check and Reply Mails~~
Log Minutes
Update Weblog
Upload Photos/Videos onto Facebook
~~Feed/Bathe/Play with Yemo in Pet Society~~
~~Earn Coins in Pet Society (To Buy Princess Bed!)~~
~~Play With Molly in Superpoke Pets~~
~~Take Care of Children in Make A Baby~~
~~Comment/Reply Facebook Shits~~

More to come if I ever finish all this. Now it's time to get started and to fill up my organiser with all this shits.

For photos, please check out Facebook. I don't wanna haul my entire photo collection from Facebook over here. Uploading is like hell in Blogger. Seriously, there's nothing much left in this blog except for the lack of updates.

And to end things off, wishing all of you a damn belated Merry X'mas and a Happy New Year!

Through the monsoon, just me and you.

2008-12-23T23:28:00.004+08:00

Monsoon - Tokio Hotel

Courtesy of Cynthia Lim.

She introduced this band, Tokio Hotel, to me sometime ago and I decided to listen to the song that she sent me through e-mail last night. She was raving about this band and the song in her blog for quite some time so I just decided to give it a listen and ...

Wrong move.

I'm damn hooked onto the song and you're hearing it on my blog right now. And the video on top, yeah it's their official MTV for the song, Monsoon.

The weird thing about this band is that it eats to you, be it the androgynous looks of the lead singer or the bad boy vibe that the guitarist gives. It just eats into you and makes you swoon. Probably that's because their twin brothers and they both look equally hot and yummy too.

Match it up with the feminine and gentle yet strong and powerful vocals of the lead singer and that's it. This band is a killer.

I think the lead singer, Bill Kaulitz really resembles hide in the photo above. Photos below are Tom Kaulitz, the older brother of Bill Kaulitz and he's the guitarist for Tokio Hotel. And yes, I know Tom looks younger than Bill who is supposedly to be the younger brother.

And I quote Cynthia, it's really makes you want him to sing you to bed. For me, he pulled me out of reality and into a dream. I seriously was imagining some kind of story between the two twin brothers and me. Like their both horribly in love with me and they're fighting over me. Putting me in a difficult spot and I don't know who to choose.

I know it's cheesy but whatever. I already have a script in my head already and I've planned the setting and the scenes and the characters involved etc. I'm gonna make a movie script out of this. Don't laugh cos' I'm not kidding.

It sucks to know I have wild imaginations and creative juices but I always fail to pen them down and to develop it into a storyline. Be it from dreams or fantasies that I had, I really should do it this time.

And plus, this song is seriously kick ass and I love his vocals too. I wanna use it in the movie that I have in my mind.

Another song which I like from Tokio Hotel.

1000 Oceans - Tokio Hotel

Anyway, as much as I like both brothers, I have a slight unexplainable thing for the lead singer probably because of his vocals and the fact that he really resembles hide! The more I look at his photos, the more I think they're really alike.

A random fact about the twins, Bill is two centimeters taller than Tom, his older brother. Bill is 182 cm and Tom is 180 cm.

Oh my gwad. I love tall men.

Check out Cynthia's post if you wanna see what she says! :)

Who's my Santa this Christmas?

2008-12-19T00:11:00.010+08:00

Back to blogging because I feel much better after a shower. A shower with lots and lots of water! At least, I bothered to make myself feel better. :)

Met up with the girls on Wednesday over at Thomson Plaza cos' Lynnda's working that night. We had bar chor mee for dinner and went over to Lynnda's workplace after that.

We wrote down our wish list for Christmas and drew lots to see who's gonna buy for who. I can't say whose wish list I drew from the lot until the day itself but I can share with you all a stupid thing I did.

We were told to write down 3 items that we hope to get for Christmas and each item is worth 50 bucks. The person who's going to be Santa will select one out of the three. This will somehow be a surprise for the receiver too. But due to how smart I could get, I thought we had to write down three gifts that totals up to 50 bucks! So now the person who's gonna be my Santa can choose to get any items which cost less than 20 bucks for me! Unless my Santa has a heart and will get all three for me.

My Santa, please get all three for me or I'll feel really miserable this Christmas. Thank you. :)

Zouk was insane on Wednesday night.

Insane because I have never seen this much people at zouk on a Wednesday night. The amount of people at Zouk was seriously crazy. It's more packed than a canned sardine. Don't even mention having the space to dance, I don't even have any space to walk. I know it's ladies night and there will be a massive crowd since it's the school holidays but as much as the crowd you see at Chinatown during the Chinese new year season? Kinda overwhelming for me.

And I can't believe the baggage was full at Zouk for the first time.

Claire left for butterfactory with her boyfriend and friends as soon as we reached cos' it's too packed and all of us can't get into phuture anymore. Brenda, Regan and me choose to stayed on to mambo at Zouk and Pearlyn didn't join us for the night cos' she fell sick (get well soon, babe!). Ronn and his friends managed to get into both phuture and Zouk early so we decided to hang around with them.

Basically, we had fun although we had some hiccups along the way. Got to befriend a nice bouncer who's very friendly too. Happens to be Claire's friend as well. It's a small world, after all. :)

No pictures from Zouk but I just uploaded a truck load from my camera. A lot of overdue ones in fact.

Anyway, you can hop over to my facebook if you wanna check out photos from the Taiwan/HK trip! All uploaded.

A little preview.

It's just the album cover for the Taiwan/HK photos. Can't upload everything over to blogger cos' it'll take years. I have almost a thousand of them! Can you imagine how long it'll take if I were to upload all?

More overdue photos coming up soon.

Bang!

2008-12-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life, I actually cried to a hip-hop song. Don't ask me why.

Only you'll know.

Now, please shoot me dead.

Lonely, lonely christmas.

2008-12-18T19:40:00.002+08:00

I'm having hunger pangs from time to time and it's evolving into gastric right now but I don't have any appetite at all even though I know there's food on the table.

2008 is coming to an end soon but why is my life crashing on me now? Can I still hope for a better 2009?

X'mas is around the corner and it's the season of giving. People are all feeling jolly and merry and they're basking in this joyous mood. Doing their x'mas shopping and preparing for this upcoming x'mas for a joyous celebration.

But I feel the exact opposite.

The world is revolving and everyone's moving on. I have difficulties catching up and I'm staying stagnant at the same spot.

What should be my next step?

How many heartstrings must you sever?

2008-12-17T04:51:00.006+08:00

Good morning.

I'm here not because I just woke up but it's because I haven't turn in yet.

I spent the whole night (including the day as well) sourcing for the right blog skin and after looking through more than a hundred, I finally settled down with this. I know it's a simple skin but it's just what I'm looking for. I love the fonts and I realise I weigh the fonts more than the design itself these days. There's a lot more pretty ones but they're all in the queue now for the next change.

I still remember the term that Ronn told me - Simplicity is deep.

I had to spend hours on end deciding which skin is the one that I really want. Which one is the one that I'm looking for. I thought that simple designs should be easy when it comes to decision making, but I was wrong. The more simple the design, the harder it is to see the difference and the beauty of each. This makes it harder for me to select the skins that really describes this blog right now.

My life is complicated enough, I just want to find back the simplicity in life for now.

How I wish I was a blank piece of paper, with no marks or scrawls. Just a plain white piece of paper. But I guess, there's too much marks and scrawls this time and it can't be erased anymore. It's too much sight for anyone to take.

You should just rip this paper apart.

Endless rain, fall on my heart, in this wounded soul.

Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness.

Good reads and upcoming movies!

2008-11-22T01:16:00.005+08:00

This is funny!

I found out through this and realized I'm similar to Jacob Black. It would have been a thrill to be Bella or Edward though, since they're main characters. Hoho. I guess we just have different personalities. :)

I spent the the night doodling with Twilight online and reading up about the movie before it's launched. Kinda anticipating it's arrival actually. It's gonna hit our shores on the 18th December! I checked out the premier dates of all the different countries and realised that some can go as far as April next year! For once, I'm glad that I don't reside in Japan.

I've started on the first novel of the series and I've been hooked on the book ever since (I got it last month!). It's a good read and I can't stop flipping the pages and I just wanna get down to the final page. There was a few nights when I was up till 5 in the morning, just to finish at least a chapter. Thinking about it, it's kinda scary as well since it's the first book and I'm already rushing to finish it. I still have another three more to go! Will I turn into some geeky nerd who does nothing but read all day or probably be deprived of sleep?

Anyway, I'm having some sores in my gums recently and it's turning into a terrible ache. I googled and realised it's gum boils.

Tooth Abscess

"Pus-filled cavity in root of decaying or dead tooth, formed as bacteria infect and destroy pulp and produce toxins; tooth very tender when tapped, painful to chew on, with a persistent ache or throb, and pain sometimes radiating along side of nose or across other teeth; if left untreated, pus seeps out through root, erodes a canal through adjacent bone, and causes a gumboil, a painful swelling on the gum. Up to this point, toxins are sealed off from rest of body, but if gumboil bursts, releasing foul-tasting pus into mouth and relieving pain, there may be Fever and the lymph glands in neck and face may swell in an effort to neutralise the toxins before they get into general circulation and cause Septicaemia. Because of risk of blood poisoning, consult your doctor if there is no improvement in 12 hours if a gumboil bursts, or if abscess seems to be enlarging rapidly; antibiotics may be prescribed to prevent infection spreading."

I know this do sounds a little scary but from what I found out, it might happen if you ate something wrong that's out of your normal diet. I can't remember any though. It either happens from the teeth's root and it affects the gums or it just happens because of the gum itself. I tried rinsing with salt water and it did help to lessen the ache! If this continues, I'm going to the dentist on Sunday. Boo.

Anyway, I'm not gonna read Twilight tonight. I have an early day tomorrow cos' I'm going to cycle with Ronn and his lil' brother!

And Beverly Hills Chihuahua is out! I'm gonna catch it even though I don't really like them.

It's so funny!

(P/s: I uploaded some of the photos of my Taiwan/HK trip onto face book already. Be patient! More will be coming!)

So much for "poly best friends"?

2008-11-21T17:57:00.048+08:00

This is more than infuriating.

After I read the entry that she wrote on her blog, I just don't see why I have to shut up when it's not even my fault.

Thanks to the in-depth description that she made, I guess I don't have to explain the situation to all of you. The only thing that she's able to do as usual, is to make her seem like she's right and that I'm the one at fault again. Let me see, how would I call that?

Oh, word play!

(I'd have to commend you on this, you're good at this every time.)

And here are a few points I'd like to clarify. You said this over at your blog:

"It insults me to every level to know that you think
LORD OF THE RINGS and Harry Potter sucks."

You should probably re-read the entire conversation before assuming that I said that.

(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (11:57:39 PM)
well HP has revelations and conspiracies...
(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (11:58:05 PM)
makes u want to know more like...etccc....but u will never be puzzled by how the guy is, why he does this that
(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (11:58:19 PM)
i hate it they don let us think, or when they do, its so insult to intelligience
(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (11:58:26 PM)
ok end of topic..no point telling u
Twilight and a cuppa coffee ; says: (11:59:39 PM)
i get what you mean.
Twilight and a cuppa coffee ; says: (12:00:16 AM)
you don't have to add that "no point telling u" behind it cos seriously i'm quite sick of the way you always treat me.
(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (12:01:02 AM)
cos u don get wad i mean anyway

Did I even mention anything about Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings, seriously? Or did I even reply or make any comments that is associated with it?

I did not claim that Harry Potter and Lord of The Rings isn't a good book at all because I didn't even read it before. Who am I to judge? That is just based on your assumption which I have no idea how it came about. Probably it just materialise out of thin air?

Another point:

"I mean if it was a movie or some series well I guess it will do fine,
Since no brainers like High School Musical is such a hit amongst all of you."

I don't watch High School Musical at all. So don't make it like I do and use it against me. Thanks.

One more point to add:

"Twilight series aside,
Ms Boh Yehying you asked me if I was the one who commented that Twilight sucked.
Oh yea I did.
so you were crooning to me how good it is?
ok you wanna hear my take, I tell you my take.
do you have to be so unbalanced to kick up such a big fuss?
And say that I like to impose my opinion on you?
You asked me for my take, don't forget.
And since you don't like what I say, fuck off la?
Wanna make personal attack?"

RE-READ!

Twilight and a cuppa coffee ; says: (11:48:19 PM)
were you the one who said that twilight isn't good?
Twilight and a cuppa coffee ; says: (11:48:19 PM)
it's a great book and i love it!

If you did read through the conversation, I did not ask for your comments at all and all I did was to tell you that I enjoyed the book and I like the writing style and yes, I still do. I clarified whether were you the one who told me that it wasn't a good book cos I wasn't sure.

Why did I even bother telling you? Cos you told me that it's not a good read and when I read through it, I thoroughly enjoyed it so that's why I told you. I didn't want you to assume that I wouldn't like it, that's all.

Twilight and a cuppa coffee ; says: (11:49:42 PM)
i like books with such writing styles. very straightfoward.
(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (11:49:55 PM)
hahaahh i do see why

Also, what's with the hidden scarcasm? Don't blame me for retailiating or using personal attacks on you when you obviously used it on me too.

"But what I cannot stand, is you being a fangirl,
you like this thing so much, and you expect me to like it too.
I am not bringing you down as a person,
but bringing down what you like.
If your fan faith is so strong, could have asked me to fuck off.
Since you don't ask me to fuck off,
for me to save our relationship, i said:

Ok. End of Topic. No point telling you."

I seriously wished you were trying to save the friendship but sadly, it seems like you weren't trying to.

Because you added something behind just to prove my point:

(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (11:58:26 PM)

ok end of topic..no point telling u

Twilight and a cuppa coffee ; says: (11:59:39 PM)

i get what you mean.

Twilight and a cuppa coffee ; says: (12:00:16 AM)

you don't have to add that "no point telling u" behind it cos seriously i'm quite sick of the way you always treat me.

(#)☜☠☞ ❤CYN✺ I LOVE CINDY LIM COS SHE BOUGHT MANY MANY EDAMAMES FOR MEEEEEE~ says: (12:01:02 AM)

cos u don get wad i mean anyway

It's because you ASSUMED I didn't get what you're trying to say as usual. Because you weren't bothered to really read what I typed and you just love to flood others with your own personal views that you feel strongly about.

You always think you're right. (I'm not the only one who said that.)

I wasn't trying to convince you at all. I know you too well and I know how stubborn you are when it comes to such stuffs. You think I'd even try? It seems like you were trying to convince me more since you're the one who's always doing the typing! Ha!

Seriously, this is not the first time you're bitching about me on your public blog and it's obvious that you've always loved to wash your dirty linen in public. Not that I mind at all when you did it in the past cos' when it's my fault, I seriously didn't mind when you lash at me on your public blog. I'm willing to admit my mistake and apologise to you if I know I'm in the wrong, but this time it's not even my fault.

I don't see it as your fault either, I just think it's a very subjective view that everyone has towards reading. It's personal preference and it's that simple. You just misunderstood what I was saying half the time because you are just too strong on your own views to even listen.

Ronn told me all about the conversation that the both of you had a few nights ago on MSN and it turned out just like how I've predicted.

All you did was to type out a chunk of words as usual and expect people to understand it as usual.

If you're wondering why he came and talk to you, I have seriously no idea. I sure did complain about it but I did not ask him to explain to you or anything.

And after many times, I've learnt to never joke with you on any level anymore. Not because you can't take jokes but you misunderstand my point and see it as something I'm using against you. Most of the time, I just do it as a joke but you don't see it as one.

Amanda has a reason why she's my best friend and she still is. Don't always tell me that I'm just doing what Amanda does to you cos she doesn't in anyway ( I REPEAT, SHE DOESN'T) treat me like how you treat me. Especially when it comes to tounge lashings and wake up calls. She lashes and she scolds me as well but never did she once hurt me with the words she uses. The reason why I cry when you scold me and when she does it, is totally different. Now I finally understood why Ronn says Amanda is truly my best friend among all.

Probably half of how others think about me in my life time, is all thanks to your blog entries.

"YOU FUCKING BLOCKED ME ON MSN BEFORE YOU CAN HEAR HOW MUCH OF A SUCKER YOU ARE.

YOU CANNOT TAKE THIS FACT IN YOUR THROAT THAT IS WHY."

The reason I block you is because I don't see why I have to swallow all this when it's not even my fault. I don't see why I have to be scolded and to be abused verbally, over and over again.

Not that I'm a sucker, but sometimes I don't understand how best friends can treat each other in ways like this. You always think that you have many lessons to give me but you're just too full of yourself to truly learn the lessons you need from others.

So much for "poly best friends", huh?

Paint my world.

2008-11-07T00:50:00.011+08:00

Hello people, I'm back with a little something to share.

I chanced upon this Swedish indie singer, Lykke Li, who has a set of really unique vocals. Personally, I like her vocals cos' I haven't heard such unique vocals from singers in a long long time. Singers this days doesn't seem to have striking vocals and there's something special about hers. Her voice seems as light as a feather yet we can all hear that her singing foundation is strong. I like her pronunciation when it comes to the lyrics as well, probably due to her accent?

Her music is what people would describe as "arty farty" but actually it's more like a fusion of soul, electronics and "powdered-sugar pop". I like the way she makes use of electronics in her songs and yet, they still sound so groovy. She reminds me of Lily Allen and Feist. To me, there's something special in their songs that makes them different from the rest.

Lykke Li's music videos are really interesting as well. There's always people doing vigorous and sudden movements (some are even like spasms) and they always go in tune with her songs. Some are even robotic and mechanical, probably due to the frequent usage of electronics in her songs I suppose?

Check it out below.

With Sarah Assbring of El Perro Del Mar as well! El Perro Del Mar means sea dog in Spanish and it's a musical project. Anyway, this videos are lovely! Especially Lykke and Sarah's harmonizing parts. I find those really pleasing to the ears. I think they're a perfect combination. (:

Can you imagine all this are done live on the streets? Amazing right?

And yes I had fun in Taiwan/HK and I'll update about the trip soon. I'll have to upload the photos first. There's lots of them. I think I took close to a thousand pictures. Haha!

Yay! The weekends are here once more. (:

Reassurance is a form of lie before the tragedy strikes.

I pray that things will be alright.

Welcome 2 Taiwan!

2008-10-24T23:29:00.013+08:00

I'm almost done with packing and I'm gonna go nap in a bit. Although I'm gonna fly in a few hours, I don't really feel the excitement yet. I guess that's because the trip haven't really started so I'll probably feel the adrenaline rush when I wake up or when I'm on board the plane I guess.

I can't believe I'm turning 20 this coming Monday. I haven't really thought of how I'm going to spend my birthday in Taiwan yet. I think it's probably gonna be just like any other day since I'm on a holiday.

Cynthia the bitch and Ronn the loving boyfriend has celebrated my birthday for me in advance last Wednesday. They surprised me with a mango (Cynthia hates it, but I love it.) cake at my doorstep after I'm done with the baking session for our fund-raising with Nicole and Daniel. Nicole knew about the plan as well. Haha!

Cynthia got me flowers and balloons and Ronn got me my virgin digital camera! Sony T700! I love it so much cos' I've been thinking of getting that since a long time! I know it's not cheap cos' it's new in the market. He knows I wanted that badly and he got it for my Taiwan/HK trip! I am so bloody excited right now and I can't contain it anymore. I love you sooooooooooo much baby!

And to end this entry with a little something,

Thank you for doing this again baby!

I'm gonna take pictures with the camera you got me and I'll show it to you when I get back! I'll capture everything I see with that cos' it's like looking at the world with your eyes. I'll use that camera as your eyes to show you places I've seen and people I've met. I'm gonna miss you so much! Meanwhile, when I'm away, please do take care of yourself and sleep early! Get enough rest and don't overwork! I love you much baby love. <3

And for now,

Welcome 2 Taiwan!

(Psst: I'll upload the photos in my camera when I get back from the trip. I'll upload all the photos that I took before the trip as well. See you guys soon!)

Super trouper sleep is gonna find me.

2008-10-22T00:43:00.006+08:00

I am so bloody tired right now that I can fall asleep on the spot while I'm typing this entry. But I can't go to bed now cos' I have stuffs to pack. I'm flying off in a few days time, remember?

After blogging, I'll have to continue with packing if not I wouldn't have enough time to pack on Friday. I'm flying off at 5 am on a Saturday morning (How to pack on Friday, I ask you?) and will be back during midnight on the next Monday night. Then I'll have to wake up for school the next day. The worse thing is I have a UT on Friday before I fly! Argh!

To cheer things up a little, my FYP team has finally settled the proposal and sponsorship letter and we have sent it in to Su Li for vetting. That's great cos' we can finally concentrate on our fund-raising and start on our honey cornflakes baking session. I just hope Su Li won't ask us to make too much amendments to it because I'll have to be the one to do the editing and changes.

*Prays super super hard*

We'll be selling honey cornflakes for our FYP fund raising so please do support us! And it's a freaking tasty and delicious snack so it's worth to give it a try. Bet you won't regret man!

More details will be announced after tomorrow so do stay tuned.

I baked this for Ronn's birthday and as well as our 7th monthsary and he likes it a lot. Check it out below. (:

And I did a little momento for him using my creativity as well.

Needless to say, I did it using cut outs from a free magazine called Juice! It's free and there's plenty of designs and fonts for you to choose from. Gonna recycle it soon again. Whoo hoo!

Oh and he's a really really really happy boy when he saw all this. (:

Anyway, Cynthia, Nicole, Ronn & me went down earlier to Deyu's condominium for Adrian's 20th birthday. He's hosting a BBQ session over at Bukit Panjang (Damn far for Cynthia & Nicole!) and wow, there's plenty of people there that I didn't know. Haha! Saw a few familiar faces though. It was nice catching up with Lester as well cos' I got to know some true feelings of his from the man himself. And I think the food is nice, especially the satay and prawns! Hahaha!

Happy 20th Birthday, Adrian Wong Kah Hui! You smelly old man, Cynthia will sew a pretty, sexy looking G string for you that will fit your "ahem", like what she said herself. Haha!

After the baking session tomorrow, I'll be meeting up with baby for shopping on Thursday before flying off on Friday. I bet you will miss me for sure, Mr. Kay!

I love weddings and Sundays.

2008-10-19T18:00:00.020+08:00

Now playing: 林宥嘉 - 伯乐

via FoxyTunes

To do list for a Sunday evening:

1. Continue reading my novel.

~~2. Shower @ 8 pm.~~

~~3. Dinner @ 8.30 pm.~~

~~4. Rest and watch TV.~~

5. Start packing up for Taiwan/HK and to arrange my wardrobe.

6. Study for Production and Talent Management UT.

7. Prepare for Studio Techniques.

8. Finish up FYP team's minutes.

I have to cram and finish all this in eight hours before I sleep tonight. I intend to sleep by 2 am in the morning later so you think I can complete all my to dos? Well, no excuses. I must anyway!

My brother, sister in law and nephews comes over every Sunday. Had lunch and played with my nephews as usual. Baby Matthaeus is getting bigger and fatter as time passes by. He's so adorable cos' he has pinchable fat cheeks and he makes random "goo goo ga ga" sounds. I think he has nice eye brows too and they look like they're being drawn on. He's such a good boy because he doesn't whine and doesn't cry much. He'll only cry when he's hungry and he sleeps most of the time. Aww.

(If you all don't happen to know who Matthaeus is, he's the new member of the Boh's family.)

As for Makarios, the older brother of Matthaeus, he attempted to slap me on my legs (Well, he obviously failed. He might have been aiming for my face but was too short and aimed for the legs but he failed once more.) when he was crying and whining to get our attention. I was pulling him back on to the mattress cos' he kept doing back flips and his head was about to hit the nearby chair when he did that. I rescued him! What a heroic aunt he has.

I have tons of photos of them in my phone but I can't upload any. My closer friends will know why I can't say it out in the public domain. All because of that damn phone!

Anyway, last Saturday was my cousin's wedding and here are some of the wedding photos taken on his DSLR. Some of the photos are taken by yours truly. Contains adorable photos of my nephews as well! (:

The night before the wedding, we all went over to my cousin's place after dinner to help with the preparation for his big day and to make "tang yuan". My parents, aunt and uncles were all chatting while preparing the stuffs and there were lots of relatives from my cousin's side as well. At around 10 pm, my parents prepared for the hair combing ceremony whereby someone older who have lots of "fu qi" have to helped the groom to comb his hair and to bless him with well wishes. The bride has to comb her hair over her house at 10 pm as well. Interesting cos' I didn't know guys had to comb their hair. I thought it was only for girls! Haha!

My cousin and cousin in law, Robin and his wife.

My uncle with Matthaeus with my small aunt and me in the back ground. Pardon my sleepy look because I woke up at 5 am for the tea ceremony!

Makarios and Matthaeus on the wedding bed. They have to roll all over the bed to bless the wedding couple with lots of children.

I think I took this random shot, no?

My uncle, aunt and cousins and cousins in law.

The "brothers" and "sisters" of the bride and groom.

Baby Matt! I took this for sure!

My brother, sister in law and Makarios!

Yours truly with my nephew.

I didn't take this.

Cos' I was at the reception area! My sister is seated on the extreme left by the way.

Red carpet to the stage. My dad took some of the fresh roses beside the red carpet and I decided to keep them and give it to Ronn since I was meeting him later. How cheapo! I know but it was really fresh and it blooms so prettily! Many people started doing that too after the wedding anyway!

My cousin and her cousin. And my sister is on the extreme left again!

Makarios, looking handsome.

Here comes the bride and groom! I didn't realize that there was flower petals being supplied and that it was on the table if not I would have thrown the whole lot over my cousin's head.

Solemnization ceremony. The solemnizer was kinda weird during his speech somehow.

Champagne! On a very random note, I tried white wine for the first time that night and didn't like it at all. I never liked alcohol except for baileys!

"Yam seng"! I am in the right corner of the photo with my mouth gaping open on stage. My dad is stoning in front of me.

My cousin singing a song to his lovely wife. Anyway, your choice of Andy Lau's song for the wedding video was classic! I like!

Everything turned out well on my cousin, Robin's wedding day. All the best to him and his wife and hope they'll bore a baby for the Boh family soon! As for another cousin of mine, she's expecting so we're anticipating her baby's arrival. Another new addition to the family. (:

I'm gonna end the entry here.

Be back later!

I want the old blogger back!

2008-10-17T18:12:00.016+08:00

It's feels like a decade since I've last blogged. And now that I'm back, I'm astonished by the fonts that I'm looking at as I'm creating this post.

Why is it so ugly? And where have all the colours, font size and font type buttons gone to?

I simply cannot bring myself to blog, looking at such ugly fonts! And with such minimal functions available? No way!

I've been updating over at my team's FYP blog as well and blogger happens to be in draft mode over there. They say blogger in draft is a special version of Blogger where they try out new features before they release them to everyone.

It's not much of a difference except for the change in colour for the template (It's blue in blogger draft.) and they still have that set of ugly fonts when I type out my entry before it's published.

It's okay to change the fonts in blogger draft and as well as removing and adding some additional functions, but why did they change the fonts and remove the original functions as well when I am NOT using it in draft?

%#@$%&(^!@~!

It's like I come in with the "feel" to blog and the template and fonts have all changed! It discourages me from blogging further.

I don't know whether do you get the point of this entry but never mind anyway. I'm just trying to vent out my unhappiness cos fonts plays a huge role when I blog.

Anyway, I have lots to update but I don't know where to start again.

This week hasn't been good but I'll make it better next week before I leave for Taiwan and Hong Kong! My holidays starts next weekend! Yes, I'm going to Taiwan & Hong Kong for 10 days! I'll be leaving on 25 October and I'll be back on the 2nd November! Sadly, I'll be spending my birthday overseas this year AGAIN!

I'm turning 20 in 10 days. Can't believe my age starts with a 2 and not a 1 anymore. ):

Anyway, I'm going out now so I gotta start preparing if not I'll be late.

Bye!

(And I'm so fucking pissed because there are no available functions for me to centralized this post. I can't enlarge or change the colour of the fonts as well. FUCK.)

Update:

On a brighter note, I just remembered how to centralized this post with html codes. No thanks to blogger. And guess what? I just realised that I was in the html tab all along and it was my fault for not changing it to the compose tab. No wonder there are so much ugly fonts and I can't find any buttons! But still, I discovered this myself so, no thanks to blogger.

Hold on tight before they fly away.

2008-09-30T01:40:00.004+08:00

Ｅ：只剩下鋼琴陪我站在這裡
　　夢想中　屬於我們的婚禮
　　卻成了　單人結婚進行曲

Ｅ：在這場愛情角力的拔河裡
　　愛我還是愛你　你選擇了自己

Ｈ：撒嬌的　可愛的　黏人的　愛哭的
　　照片裡　曾經的都是你喜歡的
　　如今我還在原地你卻走回你的記憶

Ｓ：你說我愛你太多　就快要把你淹沒
　　你害怕幸福　短暫一秒就崩落
　　分開是一種解脫　讓你好好的想過
　　我想要的　那片天空　你是不是能夠給我

Ｈ：你說我給你太多　卻不能給我甚麼
　　分不清激情　承諾永恆或迷惑
　　愛情是一道傷口　我們各自苦痛
　　沉默是我最後溫柔　是因爲我太愛你

Ｓ：只剩下鋼琴陪我站在這裡
　　夢想中　屬於我們的婚禮
　　安靜了　在我枕邊的夢裡

Ｅ：我知道相愛原本就不容易
　　愛不是一加一　努力就有結局

Ｓ：撒嬌的　Ｅ：可愛的
Ｓ：黏人的　Ｈ：愛哭的
Ｓ：照片裡　合：曾經的都是愛著你的
Ｓ：臉頰的淚還溫熱　卻沒有人握我的手

Ｈ：你說我愛你太多　就快要把你淹沒
　　你害怕幸福　短暫一秒就崩落
Ｅ：分開是一種解脫　讓你好好的想過
　　我想要的　那片天空　你是不是能夠給我

合：你說我給你太多　卻不能給我甚麼
　　分不清激情　承諾永恆或迷惑
Ｓ：愛情是一道傷口　我們各自苦痛
Ｅ：沉默是我最後溫柔　是因爲我太愛你

Sometimes, I wish you would pay more attention to my favourite songs because the lyrics they sing are the words I am too scared to say.

You made me cold.

2008-09-24T01:35:00.004+08:00

This is so fucking hot!

He's so versatile like always. (;

Don't say I'm cold when you hung up on me in the first place.

Something happy to share.

2008-09-19T02:14:00.006+08:00

I turned up early for classes on Thursday! (:

But I'm damn tired now. I don't wanna skip class later so I'm going to bed now.

Another reason is that Cynthia and me are having a challenge - the person who skips the most classes for this semester would have to treat the other person for a buffet! I cannot lose!

Good night!

Living life to the minimal.

2008-09-18T00:50:00.004+08:00

I think after the sore eye episode, I'm down with a flu. Nevertheless, I'm going to school still. If not, boyfriend will probably kill me for not going. He gets really upset when I don't attend school. He just wants the best out of me, I guess. I can't disappoint him, my loved ones and those who care anymore. Most importantly, I think I've been letting myself down a little too much recently. I'm still not performing like how I should be back then. Life is still not being lived to the fullest.

Like I've said, I've been staying indoors pretty much and I'm kinda cut off from the outside world recently. Today, Cynthia and Nicole came over to my place and we did some work on our FYP. Things are getting a little hectic and complicated, but it's still fine. I know we'll pull it through eventually but it's always the process that sucks big time. Though you learn a lot, but you'll have to go through a lot to gain all those experience as well.

I still have some minutes and an event proposal to complete and to be frank, I don't feel good at all now. My flu is killing me and all this negative thoughts is weighing me down. I'm seriously not in the mood for anything today.

Lonely, isolated, sickly, pessimistic, demoralized, disappointed, upset.

Probably sums me up as a person for today.

I'm going over to my private world.

----------------
Now playing: Arashi - One Love
via FoxyTunes

Oguri Shun - My daily addiction!

2008-09-16T19:04:00.016+08:00

My right eye is sore right now and it's swelling a little right now. Kinda hurts man. I think I'll have to stop rubbing my eyes that much. Every time when I remove my lenses and when I'm cleansing my face, I'll start rubbing my eyes continuously and it'll turned bloody red. This is bad man! ):

I'll have to start taking care of my eyes.

Speaking of which, I realised that some of my friends love to buy their lenses online. Cynthia was showing a link for a blog shop that sells such cheap lenses and they have a pretty decent collection. But then, the lenses are being priced at $21 per pair and they can last for a year!

Seems like a good deal, I know. A pair of lenses being priced at $21 and they can last a year? Seems like too much of a good deal to me. But don't you think it's a little risky for our eyes? What if they're cheap imitation lenses from Taiwan/China? From what I know, yearly lenses cost around $100 for a year here in Singapore.

I still think it's safer for us to get lenses locally cos' you'll never know what happens. Furthermore, we only have a pair of eyes!

I don't mind getting clothes, shoes and accessories online but lenses, I'm still a little jittery about it.

Recently, I've been staying indoors pretty much. Been cooping myself in my own room and watching lots of Japanese dramas. I've finished Hana Kimi and now I'm watching Hana Yori Dango 1 & 2!

Why you may ask?

It all happened on a fateful day, when Cynthia, Ronn and me caught this movie called Hana Yori Dango - Final!

Yes, you must have seen this poster somewhere on the big billboards over at Cineleisure or something.

This is none other than the highly anticipated "Meteor Garden" from Japan! Yes! F4!

By right, I should be damn into the main character, Domyouji Tsukasa (Aka Dao Ming Si) since I was so into Jerry Yan's character in Meteor Garden during my secondary school years! If you don't know, I used to love Jerry Yan from F4 and it all started from his character, "Dao Ming Si" in Meteor Garden.

Then, I realised that my admiration for an actor is not because of the role he plays but from the actors themselves!

I used to love Jerry Yan cos' to me, he's the most good looking one in F4. And for Hana Yori Dango, it would be none other than ...

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Hanazawa Rui! (Aka Hua Ze Lei)

He's totally like a prince charming (You know, those that rides on white horses, wearing ALL white?) and yes yes, he captivated me with his gorgeous looks! He's really good looking to me (Cynthia said he has weird lips that looks like a monkey but I find it alright! I do find it weird when he smiles though.) and I love his ever changing looks!

He can look like a handsome prince charming in Hana Yori Dango.

and yet look perfectly manly in Hana Kimi!

I think he looks like Jerry Yan in this one. I have totally no idea why.

Anyway, he's like BOYISH, PRINCE-LIKE, HOT and MANLY all combined into one! I prefer his boyish and prince-like look though. The one you'll see in Hana Yori Dango!

Can you imagine if he's your boyfriend?

Let's say you want a boyish and prince-like image from your boyfriend today and he can simply dye his hair brown/blond and dress up in a white suit to take you out for the day to satisfy your needs.

Need a hot and hunky man for security today? Don't worry, he'll dye his hair back to black and shove his abs and chest right in your face.

That's how good I picture him to be.

So damn versatile with his ever changing looks and what's more to add? He has stunning looks in the first place already!

To you, I present Oguri Shun, my daily addiction.

♥

----------------
Now playing: Ai Otsu ka - Planetarium
via FoxyTunes

If you believe.

2008-09-14T16:37:00.002+08:00

I close my eyes and even when I’m sleeping I’m alright
Cause you are in my life
Once upon a time
I only imagined this
And now you’re mine
Wished for you so hard
Pray that you’d find me
Maybe you’re here today
Here to remind me

If you believe that dreams come true
There’s one that’s waiting there for you
Cause I believed when I saw you that when you want something enough
Then it can’t escape your love
There is nothing in the world that cannot be
If you believe

Everybody said that I was a fool to think that we connect
(Everybody said that) I couldn’t get my heart out of my head
They just didn’t see
No they just couldn’t know
The feeling that you get
The places that you go

If you believe that dreams come true
There’s one that’s waiting there for you
Cause I believed when I saw you
That when you want something enough
Then it can’t escape your love
There is nothing in the world that cannot be
If you believe

Never wished for material things
Never needed wind in my wings
I never wished for anything but you....
I can’t explain it
Someone just told me
Go where your heart is you’ll never be lonely

If you believe that dreams come true
There’s one that’s waiting there for you
Cause I believed when I saw you that when you want someone enough
Then they can’t escape your love
There is nothing in the world that cannot be
If you believe

(:

Maybe it will be different this time, my love.

2008-09-10T23:30:00.003+08:00

This Time, from Wonder Girls is the current song playing on my journal. Take a look at the video below. It's a nice video. (:

Ronn did this himself and he sent it to me last night.

You're forgiven cos' you're different this time my love. <3

Confessions of a shopaholic wannabe.

2008-09-02T03:30:00.005+08:00

I'm hooked - onto online shopping!

The prices are insanely low considered to clothes that you see in shopping malls this days. Topshop, Gap, Zara etc can go up to prices like 50 over bucks, depending on what you're looking for.

I think stuffs found online are stylish yet cheap. Maybe the quality isn't as good as those you find in shopping malls but hey! For a dress that's less than 30 bucks is considered cheap this days! Bet you can't find any thing in shops that's cheaper than this, except for maybe say Bugis street? So far, dresses and tops that I've gotten online are all less than 30 bucks. This really helps to save up a few dollars for an unemployed like me. Although on the downside, you probably can't fit into the size or it just doesn't look that good on you when you receive it. It's not like you can try it on you see. Sigh. There's always a good and bad side to life I guess. (;

Oh, nevermind!

Maybe I should go to the extent of publishing their shops on my humble little abode and I can probably get a few dollars off or get free mailing! Hehe ... (:

My online spree shall start soon before I become poor once more!

Anyway, Ronn and me went out today cos' his poor little girlfriend has been coped at home for the past two days because she just doesn't feel like going out last weekend.

We went down to Haji Lane cos' I wanna get a bag badly. Not those small, puny ones but more of the enourmous, gigantic ones whereby you can stuff in lots of your barang barangs. Sadly, we couldn't find any and I got myself a vintage checkered pouch in rosewood instead. Cost me 45 bucks but it was worth the money. I slash the price to 45 bucks! Originally at 49 bucks! :D

Anyway, I really like the home sweet home feeling that the shops at Haji Lane offers. Somewhat, it makes you shop freely from the bustling crowds that you always experience like say, Town. You don't have to squeeze with the crowd and wait outside the fitting room for a really long time. You have to take off your shoes in some shops and there was cats around in one of the shops as well. Almost freaked me out but I was trying to act calm the whole time, so that I won't embarrass myself in front of others and I know Ronn will laugh at me cos' of that!

Had a nice day shopping and eating Ah Chew desserts with Ronn as well. (We had Mango Sago Pomelo and Honeydew Sago) The queue was freaking long and we decided to just take away and had it at war memorial park. The route there reminds me of Gap. ):

Did I mention that we had "ban mian" for lunch and "cheng teng" for dessert as well? Okay, random.

My blog is so boring without photos. Blah.

And people, please update me if you have any online shops to introduce! I'm desperately looking for a pair of sandles and a big bag. Thank you very much.

Good night!

The end of a journey marks the start of another.

2008-08-31T03:12:00.027+08:00

I think I'm sick in the mind.

This is probably my fifth entry from yesterday till today. You can only see two of them, of course. The other three are over at my private blog! Yes, it's up and how exciting can that get? I already have a protected entry over there! And no, I won't announce the URL in here. Don't bother searching for it in search engines as well cos' I already disabled all those functions and made them as personal as possible. (:

Anyway, since I've announced it over at my private space, I better update the public space as well and that is ...

I've quit gap officially on Saturday. ):

In a nutshell, there's a change of operations manager in Gap and this new operations manager wanted to change Gap’s operation. She was previously from Esprit so I guess she just wanna modify the system of Gap to Esprit. The part timer's shifts are being cut to pathetic hours of less than 20 hours per week. Also, some of the part timers are being put on hold for two weeks and will be notified when they can come back for work.

The worst thing that can ever happen was that they took away the 10 minutes grace period that we had when we’re late. More than 5 times late per month would result in a warning letter and an accumulation of more than 3 letters would be sayonara for you.

That’s so stupid right?

Another thing was that there was no more smoke breaks as well. Although this doesn’t affect me but it’s stupid as well.

So, basically I think it's time for me to go because of the changing environment and the people. Lots of part timers will be leaving i guess since we're the real ones suffering from this modified system.

I’m gonna miss the rest somehow. Every little thing, from my locker to the notes on them all the way to the people and the environment. All that I’ll miss for sure.

Now it's time for me to take a break after eight months of hard work.

The door's locked and the keys are thrown away.

2008-08-30T16:44:00.005+08:00

This week hasn't been going on so well. I have so many personal things to say but yet I can't seem to blog it down in here.

There are many eyes preying on this personal space of mine, I don't know who they are. But I do know they're just waiting for the right time to strike, so that they can feel the glee when I'm in misery.

It's like you have so many things to say yet you can't express it freely in here even though it's your own personal site. I know I can choose to pen it down openly but you know how nosy parkers can get. They'll share juicy gossips and tell tales to others when they see and hear something about you. I'll have to play safe I guess cos' I still do care about how others might think about me. Things that I say and things that I do will affect others and how they feel towards me so it's not like I can write it down openly.

I'm going to set up a personal site for myself and I'm gonna lock it all away, along with my wildest thoughts and my most personal emotions. It's going to be for my own viewing pleasure and I will give out the URL to my closer friends, but I might still lock up some of the entries. Probably when I'm in a good mood and if I feel like sharing, I'll let my closer friends have some access to the entries.

If you don't manage to have any access to my personal journal at all (not even the URL) then maybe you should know that we're not really close emotionally and I'll have to say sorry.

I have fantasies about cameras only when I am twenty.

2008-08-25T02:28:00.021+08:00

To think I'm a cam-whore?

I've been secretly wishing to get my virgin digital compact camera recently. I thought to myself, which brand should I go for?

The first thing that I would go for is the design (colour and style) then followed by the functions (the mega pixels). I notice that most of my friends are using Sony and a few others like Olympus. Then, I decided to throw myself into some deep research tonight. And oh my, I'm so glad I did.

Canon, Nikon and Olympus offer cameras that totally have no style at all! True enough, Canon and Nikon are superb brands (probably for DSLRs) but the design is totally like fuck, seriously. For slim designs, they offer colours such as sliver, sliver and sliver. Everything is like bloody sliver lah! Then for those which comes in a variety of colours, like red, black, yellow etc, they just just have this bloody fish eye bulging out of them.

Check out those eyes. They're staring right at you.

Olympus offers lots of bright colours and some really impressive functions such as the waterproof functions but so?

The design is still like fuck!

Omg. That deep cool shade of blue reminds me of the deep blue pacific ocean ... but with a fish eye staring right out of it at me?

No thanks.

But Sony is different! They have totally beautiful designs with splendid functions as well! I love Sony cameras cos' the lighting is always so right. Though Sony has fish eye cameras as well, but so? They have splendid colours that is so nice man.

The difference between Sony and other brands is like mermaids and eels!

Alright, enough of those defaming comments. Let's move on to something happier - like my favourite choices from Sony!

First Choice - DSC T700 in Red (yet to be released)

O-M-G!

Yes, I know. That's how I feel when I saw this camera. I keep screaming in MSN to the boyfriend and to all my friends about the colour. I know it's red but it looks like hot pink to me so I'll assume that it's true to this colour. I love this colour freaking much cos I LOVE HOT PINK! The design is lovely as well. So compact and so slim! Has lots and lots of functions that takes your breath away! It has anti-blink functions as well as smile shutter, face detection and all. A lot lah. The most important thing about this is that it's TOUCH SCREEN! Like my Ipod Touch baby. The fish eye is hidden as well. Lovely, just lovely.

Second Choice - DSC T77 in Brown (yet to be released)

Okay, This takes my breath away as well! The design is really sleek and modern. And it has all the latest functions like the one above. Fish eye's hidden well but it's in second position cos the colours for this model doesn't wow me. The brown is pretty cool - retro and vintage. But, hot pink still wins hands down! I think Amanda would love the green version of this though. (:

Third Choice - DSC T300 in Red (released)

Lovely colour. Touch screen as well and I really love the design of the touch screen panel at the back but then, it's released and many people already have it. The yet to be released models above has more functions as well, though overall, the basic functions are all there. But, I want my virgin camera to be the most up to date model lah! The red colour shade is kinda different from my first choice as well. First choice looks more like hot pink! (:

Those yet to be released ones will be releasing in late September and it's gonna be coming soon! I can hardly wait!

For more information, click here.

Do you all get the point of this entry and agree whole-heartedly with me? If you don't, you don't have any sense of style lah. You should migrate to Malaysia and live in their kampong huts. But if you do, all I can say is that you have a sense of style, like me. (;

To end things off, tell me about your views please! Leave a comment in the tagboard and let me know! Remember hor!

Peace.

Random, but with lots of sense.

2008-08-22T02:02:00.006+08:00

This is a very random update with lots of random nonsense.

I am going to start this random update with a random piece of news that I recall randomly. I saw JJ Lin Jun Jie at Zouk and Jam Hsiao Jing Teng at Suntec City last week. I just saw them right in front of me and looked at them straight in the eye! I think I've bumped into quite a few renowned artist so far in my 20 years of life. Be jealous people.

Boyfriend is away for 3 days 2 nights for a school camp and you all know I am going to miss him so. It's so weird not having him around because I'm so use to talking and sms-ing him whenever, wherever on my cell. He's pretty much hanging around me like always and sending me home and all.

I planned to work afternoon earlier on because I can't stand doing nothing at home without him being around. Luckily, he did sms and gave me a long distance call from our neighboring country. It just doesn't feel right when he's not around.

Before boyfriend left for his camp trip, he helped me to select a blog skin and the both of us chose this. It's nice, isn't it? I'm opting for something simple nowadays and this skin is just full of simplicity. I like that. (:

For the song, it's One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks. Claire introduced this song to me a few days ago and I fell in love with it upon hearing it. Especially love the beat at the start! Just can't stop humming to the tune.

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you've always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You're confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
When you need to find the strength
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way we get there
Is one step at a time

Take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

It totally collides with what I need to do now. Taking one step at a time and try not to rush into things in my life. I can't excel and prove to them what I'm really worth if I'm always rushing into things. Some might think that I cannot do it, but I will prove to them that I can do it and I am the one who is worthy to be staying. There are so many others who aren't worthy to be there and I am so much better than them. All they are waiting for is that change in me, that improvement that I know I can make. I shouldn't be admitting defeat cos' I am not a person who will. I won't concede defeat and let people label me forever as someone I am not. I know there's a fighting spirit in me, like always. Even if things turns out the same, then so what? At least, I did improve and I did try. One step at a time - That's all it takes.

Today, I realised that many faces of the human race actually exists and you can't always trust anyone who just happens to strike a chord with you. Sometimes, even the people whom you think are nice or close to you, might turn into someone you cannot even imagine.

Anyway, something for you all to be jealous of before I end this entry.

Come back soon baby! Miss you! <3

I'm a cam-whoring bitch.

2008-08-19T00:33:00.025+08:00

Okay time to blog, but I seriously don't have the slightest idea on what to blog about.

Maybe I'll upload the truckload of photos that the boyfriend just sent me through msn. I've sent it to his laptop through bluetooth earlier in the afternoon when he bought lunch over for me. (Yes! Be jealous of me!) Now, I'll upload them bit by bit. (:

Anyway, I've changed my e-mail to yakking.yehying@gmail.com so you can add me in msn if I missed out adding you, which is highly impossible cos' I imported all my contacts from the previous e-mail. If you don't know me personally, you better don't add me for any lame reasons I warn you. If not, I'll block you! Oh wait, I wouldn't even approve you in the first place! Haha!

Forward me any mails that you guys wanna send to me through that address as well. Haters who loves to tag nonsensical rubbish in my tagboard are welcome to send your hate mail as well. I will read them and give you a prompt reply. (:

Let's start with what the most recent event - like what I did last weekend for instance.

On Friday, I went out with the boyfriend as usual. It was work from 12 pm to 6 pm and we cam-whored a little too much in the fitting room while changing.

Spoiler - I am lazy to use Picasa to put all the photos as a collage so I am not going to upload all the photos! Only the nicer ones whereby I look good in them. But there's plenty of them as well. Sucks to be photogenic eh?

Peektures.

Check out my nail polish yo!

He can carry me, so? Big deal ah. Check out later shots.

Random shot by accident, but I like. Love this top that I got from Lynnette's blog shop.

See, I can carry him lah seriously. He's just afraid that his weight might crash me. (:

Yo! We're trying to imitate Alson's favourite photo-taking pose here! DOPE!

We went off to have dinner at The Cafe Cartel @ Marina Square before heading down to the GV outlet there. Bought tickets for Money No Enough 2 @ 12.10 am sharp! Then, off we went to Esplanade to play rounds and rounds of silly games and to chew bubble gums for the next two hours.

I love silly games I tell you! I rock at 'Hei Bai Pei' but I suck at 'Chi Ko Pa' and 'Cai Quan'! We had so much fun doing all the forfeits man. Tickling each other's feet, running around the Singapore River, Slapping one another and 'Tan Er Duo"! Wheee!

The boyfriend sucks at blowing bubble gums I tell you, check out my bubbles yo. They get bigger and bigger with every blow cos' the gums gets tougher!

Shiok ah.

Check out how long a bubble gum can be when stretched!

Anyway, Money No Enough 2 was a good movie though. It's from a very Singaporean perspective so I believe if you're a Singaporean, you will definetely understand what the story is talking about. It's really - BY SINGAPOREAN FOR SINGAPOREAN. Everyone in the cinema was shedding tears of sadness and as well as laughing hilariously at different points of the story. I even cried as well and probably the boyfriend as well? (;

Anyway, would love to update about my dramatic encounter on Saturday as well but too lazy to do so now.

Come back for more tomorrow.

Ta.

Happy 5 Monthsary!

2008-08-05T00:09:00.007+08:00

First and foremost,

to me and Mr. Ronn Kay!

I know I am super talented when it comes to MSN drawings. I bet Andy would be praising me again when he see this. Haha!

Anyway, time flies and in the blink of an eye, we're already together for 5 months. Another one month and we'll be half a year. I know this sounds stupid but we can count by years and not months anymore. Next time, when others ask us how long we've been together, we can proudly say half a year! I get excited just at this thought.

I never thought we'll last this long but eventually we made it here. (If you think 5 months is bloody short, then shut up cos' that's bloody long for me.) So, thank you for being by my side whenever I need you and for being my punching bag throughout this 5 months. Thank you for accepting and loving me for who I am. For giving encouragements and wake up calls whenever I face problems in my life. Thanks for walking this path with me baby.

HAPPY 5 MONTHSARY! :D

Anyway, on a random note, FYP 1 just ended on Saturday and I was actually rushing like a mad woman to finish up the proposal for submission with the rest of my FYP 2 team mates last night over at Nicole's place. I woke up like bloody early in the morning for work and went straight for meeting after that. This meeting actually last all the way till 8 am in the morning and I didn't sleep for 24 hours! Good that every thing's done and the proposal is summited but I know that this is just the start of something worse. Thing's is really gonna get crazy for the next 4 months to come. Never mind though, I love being stressed and living life accomplishing something. All the way!

Here's a new song for you guys out there! Love it man!

For the record
You oughta know
You wasn't thinking
When you let me go

But whatever
That's how it goes
Win some you lose some
And others you hold in your heart

Why it gets so hard
Tears you all apart
Even though you try to let go
No, no, no

Suddenly you're here
And it's so surreal
And I don't know
What the deal

Cause when I'm looking in your eyes
Feels like the first time
Give me one good reason why
We can't just press rewind
I don't wanna spend my life
Thinking what it could've been like
If we had another try (one time)
Like back in the day
That look on your face
Feels like, the first time

Them other irregularities
They can't compete with MC
The whole entire world can tell
That you love yourself some me

People see ya know
Asking all about
Me and how they always thought we
Were so perfect together

Let's re-write the end
Start over again
And it's gon go better now

For the record
You'll always be a part of me
No matter what you do
And for the record
Can't nobody say
I didn't give my all to you

And for the record
I told you underneath the stars
That you belong to me
For the record
It's obvious that
We just can't let go of us, honey

For the record, baby
Now you know, baby

I love you, baby. :D

Contemplating.

2008-07-31T19:56:00.010+08:00

Guess what? Life is still the same as usual. Yeah, you should know what I mean. If you don't, then forget it cos' I don't intend to repeat.

Anyway, on a happier note, Derrick Hoh Wei Jian, my all time favourite project superstar contestant (from the first series) has released his album after three long years!

Remember him?

I used to be so obsessed with him, how can I ever forget? Gone were those days when I scribbled his name and the songs that he sang before on the back of my full scape paper during my secondary school years. I can even remember one of my classmates, How Kiat used that to rub against his *ahem* private parts to spite me. Grr. What an idiot.

But to tell you the truth, it's been so long that he has been in army, I thought he has disappeared from the limelight. The passion and love I use to have for him kinda dwindled for him as well. I don't feel that much LOVE like how I used to feel to be frank. Joining fanclubs and finding information online about him kinda faded as well. I think I'm turning old. ):

But he's still as cute as ever though!

I'm still contemplating whether should I get the album or not though. I don't wanna just chuck it aside like how I did for the project superstar compilation that I got because of him. Really a waste man, but it was all because of infatuation back then. I'll just check out the songs online first before deciding. Give it a little preview first! (;

And I seriously have no kick to blog today. Just posting this randomly.

Bye.

Funny moments.

2008-07-28T00:55:00.007+08:00

Check out the conversation with Rudolf the metal head reindeer below.

The little funny moments in life! Haha!

会呼吸的痛

2008-07-25T01:39:00.002+08:00

在东京铁塔第一次眺望
看灯火模仿坠落的星光
我终於到达但却更悲伤
一个人完成我们的梦想

你总说时间还很多
你可以等我
以前我不懂得
未必明天就有以后

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

没看你脸上张扬过哀伤
那是种多么寂寞的倔强
你拆了城墙让我去流浪
在原地等我把自己捆绑

你没说你也会软弱
需要依赖我
我就装不晓得
自由移动自我地过

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

我发誓不再说谎了
多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了
灵魂像飘浮着你在就好了

我发誓不让你等候
陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳
怕心被人触碰你回来那就好了

能重来那就好了

Don't try me. (:

2008-07-17T18:34:00.007+08:00

Since I've already said my piece in the tagging board, I shall not bother criticizing your (passer) actions in my blog entry.

Just to let you know though, I got hold of your I.P address and I know that you're from my school, Republic Polytechnic. Don't make me go to the extent of finding out who you are, such as asking the school or paying Starhub, Singtel or M1 to reveal your identity. And I just realized I can actually contact RP to report people who abuses their network! I will do just that if you continue posting such defaming comments about me and my life. :)

Credits to http://www.ipaddresslocation.org/ and http://www.ip2location.com/ for the findings!

The last entry ever - about you.

2008-07-16T02:10:00.010+08:00

Apparently, this is the final straw.

This has gone way too much. Way too much for me to bottle this up any longer and I am going to blog about all this right now.

Remember how I used to be talking about this guy called John and how much I used to love him and all? How much I have done for him and how much heartaches and tears he has given me in return for all I've done for the past three years?

Yeah, apparently this asshole is ATTACHED with this girl called Huiqi (She has the same name as my primary school best friend, how disgusting.) and she has a really big nose. I think she might be Jackie Chan's daughter who's being abandoned since young on the streets.

See, mother fucking big right?

But anyway, he tried to explain to me and to clear things up again by telling me that he has his reasons for doing so and actually he doesn't want this thing to be happening. He even go to the extent to tell me that he is not lying when he told me all those sad stories about himself, his dramatic family life and how he felt towards me. Like I am his first love that he loved so much and that he cannot let go and he actually still has some feelings for.

Wow! So you want me to believe that she threatens to kill you with a pistol and that's why you are being forced into this? C'mon, you had a choice to accept or to reject. Even if you are being forced into this and even if you have any crap ass reasons in your life, this is not totally her fault. It takes two hands to clap. If you didn't agree to it, this wouldn't be happening. All those photos, comments and messages that you have in your friendster are all her doing? Are you trying to tell me that you are being forced into this again? Like probably she hacked into your account and got hold of your password and hence, posted all those disgusting photos?

Can we wake up to reality here and not continue the acting please? Stop imagining that your life is a drama/movie and that you are those hong kong hooligans who have a tragic love life. Stop the crap about that "人在江糊, 生不由己" theory that you always have. Stop making it seem as if you have gone through a lot and you are damn bloody mature. Stop trying to tell me to change when you're an asshole yourself. Most importantly, stop making it seem as if you have gave in a lot for others by not being in a relationship with them and that you are probably helping them when you're single.

Yeah, probably you ARE helping them cos' all my friends think you are fucking uncle-ish looking now and with that fucking beer belly of yours. Looking back, I don't even know what I saw in you. Oh and remember, next time don't stay under other people's block and wail to them about your tragic life when what you say is probably all rubbish.

And if you are doing all this to make me loathe you, guess what?

You just succeeded and no worries, I'll never look back again. :)

SCREW YOU!

Ahhhh, I feel good blogging all this out. Like fucking good now. Anyway, I seriously wonder why are liars and hypocrites all around. They seem to be all around me in my life, be it in school or in my personal life. Cannot stand them you know! But anyway, everything will soon be over.

And don't ever step on my tail cos' even if I love you like hell, I can totally hate you to the core too man.

And yeah, I didn't go to school today again. Whatever.

Leave that for another time!

Read this fucking long update.

2008-07-15T03:14:00.012+08:00

Hello all, here's the first post for July.

Like at 3 am in the morning? Hmm.

Yes, I know. It's supposed to be a very updated blog cos' it used to be updated in the past but now it's like a freaking dead town. Pardon me for not replying the tags. I simply don't feel like replying cos' I seldom update you see. I am freaking ashamed of myself and I don't have the courage to face you all. I think I should just drink dettol to kill myself for my horrible actions. Anyway, just kidding. At least this blog hasn't lost it's sense of humor, I think.

And yes I know, I have been depressed and I have been blogging about many upsetting events and I probably totally have no readers anymore. (I know, I know. Also because I never update lah.) Aiya, but better than closing this site down right? Unless you all want then I got nothing to say lah. But I won't close it down anyway cos' this is MY BLOG. Screw yourself.

On a random note, I just scratch my leg and it's bleeding again. AGAIN. Fuck myself. I'm going to add another additional member to my scarred leg. Argh. And I actually wipe the blood off my saliva with the help of a tissue of course. I know it's super dirty but I cannot find any water in my room and I am too lazy to walk to get water.

Oh wait, I just discovered I have water in my cup. How bimbo.

I should be very upset today and I felt the urge to pen it down on the way home from school (No, I am not going to school still. More about that later.) but I guess I left it dwelling for too long and now it's totally gone. Hence, you are reading all this crap. Don't fret, the intellectual part is coming right up.

So what happens was I went to school for FYP to finish up the report but I totally skipped arts marketing class and instrument design UT. I promised Ronn over the weekends that I will go to school and to make changes happen in my life but eventually, this are all empty promises that I failed to deliver. I always fail to deliver promises when it comes to changes and going to school. It's really hard to keep to them. Sigh.

In case you stupid people don't know who is Ronn, he is my boyfriend and we are together for almost 5 months. Yay!

Courtesy of Albin Chan - My assistant store manager at GAP!

He mms-ed me this hilarious photo of him sleeping during their ktv session and all my colleagues sneakily took photos of his wide opened mouth and stuffed snacks in it. They played so many funny pranks on him and I laughed my ass off when I saw them. I wish I could show you more but I don't think it's very nice to display unsightly photos of my boy.

To save his reputation, I shall show you how handsome he REALLY REALLY looks.

And I added in my photo cos I am afraid you all might forget how I look. See, I am still as hwatttt as ever.

Back to the topic at hand.

So I left the school feeling very depressed after FYP meeting cos' I am still very bothered by the fact that I didn't live up to my promises. I let so many people around me down when I don't attend school. So many people are trying to help and so many encouragements are given and despite knowing what is wrong and on the verge of repeating, I can still lay in bed when the alarm clock rings at 7.30 am every morning till late afternoon. It really is that hard for me to fight the urge to continue sleeping? I know I suck. I shouldn't be like this because others are going through the same phase and hey, they are still waking up for school as usual. They are still moving on as usual with lives and fulfilling their purpose in life. All I do is to dream about fantasy stories and movies in my mind. Those dreams that I can never have - unless I make them happen in reality.

It's like you know what's wrong with yourself, what you should do to save yourself and what will happen if you don't - and yet you don't do anything about it.

I admire those people who are able to go to bed early, to wake up on time and have a fulfilling day before they go to bed. I miss that kinda life. I admire those people who can lead such a normal life on weekdays and yet party hard and enjoy themselves on weekends. I want to be like this too. And yeah, if you have such a life, I do admire you.

But, guess what? I am still blogging at this time of the night due to the fact that I slept too much in the afternoon.

Eventually, on my way home from FYP meeting while listening to my i touch playing countless of songs,

The first bus left.

I sat down at the bus stop.

The second bus came after 15 mins, but it was packed like a sardine can.

Waited for another 10 mins and this thought came to my mind:

Should I leave now or should I stay here to wait for the bus?

Yes, I could choose to leave immediately and take a longer route home but I will have to bear the consequences of missing the bus. Since I've waited for 10 minutes, what's the harm of waiting another 5 minutes? Then, this small voice in me told me to leave. It told me that who knows the bus will come in 5 minutes? And even if it did, it might be packed with people again. And I might have to still walk home. Why not just leave and walk home now? It might be a longer route and there might be dangers along the way, such as having stalkers following me since night was near, but does staying at the bus stop change anything?

I had to make a decision and I left.

I told myself not to look back cos' if the bus really did come and if it wasn't packed, I would have regretted not waiting. But, I had to look back and I can't fight the temptation. True enough, it came but it was packed. I was so happy that I choose to walk home myself and yeah, I reached home safely.

Applying this to the dilemma that I am facing in my life right now, I can walk away from the bus stop and choose to walk home. I can quit school and join another institution. It might take more time and I might not know the dangers along the way but at least, I know it can get me to my destination. Or, I can choose to wait for the bus, just like how I can choose to continue studying in RP. True enough, the route will be faster and I wouldn't waste my time when compared to taking the longer route. But, I might have to squeeze with others along the bus and I hate that. I might have to face people I dislike in school and the perspectives that they have about me. Like about me being late and not coming to school often. But, this is the faster route. Worst of all, I can just choose to stay stagnant at the spot like right now. Wait at the bus stop and not doing anything at all, but it doesn't do me any good.

So weighing all this theory that I got from my small encounter, I choose to wait for the bus.

I called Ronn when I just left the school but he didn't answered my call and he called me immediately when I just happened to reach home. What a coincidence, ain't it? I guess God wanted me to experience this for my own and to make my own decision right now, without anyone's help. Thank God.

And Ronn, no matter what, I know you will be waiting for me at my destination and help me along the way and support whatever decisions I've made. It's good to have you. I love you. :)

Anyway, the point of this entry was totally pointless at first cos' I am just blogging whatever that comes into my mind. My original intention was to tell you that I am still alive and that I hope you are still reading. But then, it somehow became an intellectual entry at the end. Haha! Anyway, thanks for reading and for still being here. If you are not reading, fuck yourself okay then come back and wait for my updates.

If I succeed in making things happen, such as waking on time for school tomorrow, I will be back to blog before you know it. :)

Note to self: Before you go to bed - you are not the same person in the morning.

Good night.

We will never say bye.

2008-06-17T00:03:00.006+08:00

This is for my peoples

Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
No, no, no

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

You never got a chance to see
How good I've done
And you never got to
See me back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye, bye.

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

For you and for my lost grandmother.
Because, I don't wish to lose you like how I lost her.
Because I still cherish and I want to hold it close when you're here.
Cos' I know I will live to regret if I ever let anyone close go.
And I know if I ever have to let anyone go, you'll not be the one.

I've never stopped thinking.

2008-06-11T00:13:00.006+08:00

I know I know!

I think I'm pretty good at this drawing shit in msn conversations. And it's all done with a mouse! Can you believe that? I can't help but paste all this in my blog every time I've completed a drawing. I think it's really nice and I think I have some more photos of my old drawings in msn conversations in my blog archives somewhere.

Go and find them yourselves if you're interested. I'm lazy to find them for y'all. And there's too many entries in this blog so I don't think I can find them just with a snap, unless I go through the posts one by one. And bingo, I won't do just that.

Well, but at the very least, I did try to guess where they would be and I did try to find them by going through some of the entries. Yeah, some of them. Some.

Looking through some of my blog entries brought me back to certain points in my life that my memory cannot recall by it's own. The thinking I used to have back then, things I have experienced that shaped me now and the people I've met back then. Some of them are still around, as close as ever. Some of them are drifting apart and losing contact. And some of them are gone like the wind and might never be back.

It sets me thinking on what I will be and how I will become in the future. It made me realize what I do now in the present has an impact that will change my future. I look at the past and thought, will I still handle things the same way or would I use a different approach? If I choose a different path or handle a situation differently, probably things might have been different. Maybe there won't be something called regrets that we are all experiencing.

Life is full of what if and if only, right?

Just like how I don't know posting a simple picture in my blog would end up triggering so much thoughts. I didn't know I'll look through my old entries to find some old drawings and end up reading memories that I've forgotten.

Life is amazing. You don't know what's going to happen next and what's gonna come. It's that excitement that life brings that takes your breath away from time to time. I'm looking forward to those points in life that will take my breath away. When you can predict what's going to happen, that wouldn't be called life.

And you're welcome, Andy.

Thanks for the thanks. You helped me to blog out some thoughts that I might come across in the future. And you won't know what difference this might make because life itself is unpredictable.

I love blogging.

而我已经分不清, 你是友情还是错过的爱情.

2008-06-03T01:14:00.003+08:00

How bout a round of applause?
Standin ovation...
Ooooh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
(Please)
Just cut it out

Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
(You better hurry up)
Before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' bout "Girl, I love you you're the one..."
This just looks like a re-run
(Please)
What else is on?

And don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe
That you could be
Faithful to me
Let's hear your speech
oh...

How bout a round of applause?
Standin' ovation...

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now...

The number-ed one.

2008-05-22T18:05:00.007+08:00

Just had a short conversation with Amanda in MSN earlier on.

γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (5:59 PM):
you know.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (5:59 PM):
it's like i brought this upon myself.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (5:59 PM):
like within this three years of poly education, i look back at the friends that other have made.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (5:59 PM):
plentiful.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (6:00 PM):
the knowledge that they have gain are actually quite a lot.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (6:00 PM):
and then, i look at myself.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (6:00 PM):
i'm like no different from a year one.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (6:03 PM):
and the worst thing is, i am not a year one anymore.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (6:03 PM):
i am a year three who can never be a year one.
γзн γıиg ; ♥ says (6:03 PM):
lost time, that's what it is.

It's been three years and I am still lost. I still can't find any directions in my life and I don't know what route to take. This feeling sucks and it's horrible. I am nothing but an empty nut shell who comes into this space to rant on and on every day.

It seems like everyone, and I really do mean everyone, have a better life than me in many ways. All I can do is to sit back and admire them, wishing and hoping how I can be like them. Knowing what they want, finding their passion and moving on towards their goals. Making lots of money and enjoying life, having so much love and friends from everyone around them.

That feels like happiness, and I am longing and hoping for that sense of happiness within me too. But all I feel is this sense of longing and admiration and nothing else. Not any sense of happiness within me. Not even a little right now.

I wish there was something I could do to make everything right again. I hope that I can make myself feel better from deep within. Smile and laugh from my heart. If only, I could make up for lost time.

It's like "I wish I haven't done this" and "I should have done this", and all this just keeps going in and out of my mind for this three years. I want to do something and I want to change something but I don't know how to start. Even when I do know how to start, I always can't seem to make it happen and I can't seem to make things right again.

It's not just my studies, it's everything that is in my life right now.

Like how when I heard about someone and someone are getting closer and closer, I feel this sudden bang in me that makes me want to cry. I feel unhappy, jealous and uncomfortable about it. It's like how I use to be number one in someone's life and in the end, I'm not important anymore. I'll think about how "I should have cherish this person" and that "I am losing out on something". It's like we have common friends and I am still going to hear about such things but I don't want to face it and I don't wish to hear it cos' it makes me feel shitty deep down. And the worst thing is, we might even have to hang out together and my friends would expect me to be able to face it with a magnanimous heart and to be a winner and not to act like a loser. When in actual fact, I am a loser who is pretending to be a winner.

It's not that I love that person but it's more like I don't want to admit that I am of no importance anymore. It's like, I want to be number one cos' I love the number one and I know I am number one and I used to be number one in everything in my life.

I want to be number one again but it feels so far away.

Why am I so pathetic now?

Counting down!

2008-05-21T15:15:00.004+08:00

Holla people.

Another 1 hour and 15 minutes till the start of my FYP MID-POINT PRESENTATION.

How exciting can that get?

Oh well, good luck for my team later. Continue cheering and rooting for me and I'll come back in here to update about the progress later.

Now, it's time to prepare for the big battle.

I'll need to go and shit first.

Peace.

UPDATE

Hell yeah. Every thing's over.

Well, at least the mid-point presentation is over. Actually, it's really nothing much. Not really scary and all, although my heart kept pumping really fast throughout. (Ashlee can be my witness!) Nevertheless, We did pretty well and I guess the assessors was quite satisfied with what we've presented. I think we're one of the better teams actually. (:

Now, there's more to come after today. Things are really gonna get busy. Whew.

Anyway, Alvin is back from the states last Friday. Shall be meeting up with him at bishan for coffee. I'll be meeting up with him more recently cos' he's only gonna be back for two weeks. ): Then, I'll be meeting up with Amanda and Lynnda at Ang Mo Kio for some cocking session after that. Heh.

Life is finally getting back on track. (:

When will I grow?

2008-05-21T00:06:00.005+08:00

Something that I'll like to share with y'all.

I came across this note made by my cousin in her face book and I find it rather interesting cos it did manage to strike a cord in my heart.

What did you want to be when you grow up?

As a child, I always wanted to be a policewoman.
Dont know why, but I think I am tomboy for a start.
However as the years go by, I changed my mind, after the "leaving my hair long and looking feminine".

I never think I fit in well as a female.
I always felt left out for some reason.The wonders of living in my own world for a while, I quite like the idea actually.

So the ambitions change year after year. I wanted to be an artist, a counsellor (which i did seriously consider for a minute), a nurse (thanks to that ECA in my younger days) and even a lawyer!

Along the way, I discovered new things about myself. What I am good at and what I am not.
I also discovered that I am actually an introvert (given the choice), and I do take time to open up (once i do, that is no stopping me).
I am passionate about things I love, I am persuasive and I love colourful things.
I treasure old friends, and am exceptionally happy when old friends remembered me and the way I am.
I hate rules, not the "I must break the rules" type but the type who hates to be constrained (which probably explains why I am left brained at times).
I always feel the need to "care for everyone" although there is no need for me to do so.
I am also quite a happy and positive person, never stay angree for a long time and seldoms in the dumps.

So now, what do you want to be when you grow up?
And really do you ever think you will end up where you are today?

I always claim that I've grown up through the years but looking back, I think I might have grown up physically but not mentally.

I've wanted to be a teacher strongly when I was younger but thinking back, this isn't really what I want now.

Then, I dream of becoming a singer someday but now I don't think I can be a singer cos' I'm not that good at singing after all. After being in this current course, I realized that there seems to be so much more talented people around.

As for me, I am still lost and confused on where I should go or what I should do after graduation. It seems like everyone has a direction except for me. Sometimes, I don't even understand myself or what I am actually good at or what is my passion in life.

When I'm faced with situations like this, I just wish I'll never grow up and be a child who have dreams and hopes in life.

At least, that seems pretty nice. (:

lucky. (:

2008-05-20T02:02:00.002+08:00

Now playing: Jason Mraz - Lucky (ft. Colbie Caillat)
via FoxyTunes

Do you hear me
I'm talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my and baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you, I promise you I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty, you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning around
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohhohhohhohh

i love you so so so so much.

pocketful of sunshine.

2008-05-16T00:39:00.003+08:00

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh.

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
No.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A hiding place.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh.

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
No.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh.

Wish that you could, but you ain't gonna own me.
Do anything you can to control me.
Oh, no.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A hiding place.

There's a place that I go,
But nobody knows.
Where the rivers flow,
And I call it home.

And there's no more lies.
In the darkness, there's light.
And nobody cries.
There's only butterflies.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A hiding place.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A hiding place.

Take me away: A secret place.
To better days take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A hiding place.

The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.
I know I'll be all right.

The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.
I know I'll be all right.

this is for you, amanda.
cheer up because you've many pocketful of sunshine in your life.
with love. (:

"I lie the loudest when I lie to myself."

2008-05-06T01:41:00.003+08:00

Now playing: Chris Brown - With You
via FoxyTunes

BOH YEH YING!

HELLO, WAKE UP YOUR IDEA PLEASE!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF?
WHY ARE YOU STILL SKIPPING SCHOOL?
WHY ARE YOU STILL COMING UP WITH EXCUSES TO SKIP SCHOOL EVERYDAY?

YOU HATE THE FEELING OF ADORING AT OTHERS MAKING ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN THEIR LIVES AND YET YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP YOURSELF?
YOU FEEL HORRIBLE WHEN OTHERS ARE MOVING ON WITH THEIR LIVES AND YOU ARE STUCK IN THIS FUCKED UP SYSTEM, BUT YET YOU ARE STILL DEGRADING YOURSELF?

YOU FEEL USELESS AND UPSET AND YOU COME AND RANT IN THIS SPACE AND REMIND YOURSELF EVERY DAY THAT YOU WILL MAKE AN IMPROVEMENT TOWARDS YOURSELF BUT YOU ARE STILL NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP YOURSELF!

ALMOST EVERYONE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HELP YOU AND THEY HAVE BEEN REMINDING YOU BUT YOU KNOW IT CLEARLY THAT IF YOU STILL DON'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOURSELF, NO ONE CAN HELP YOU AT ALL.

YOU'RE NOT ONLY DISAPPOINTING AND LYING TO THEM, YOU'RE LYING TO YOURSELF TOO.

"I lie the loudest when I lie to myself."

):

fresh from the oven. (:

2008-04-30T00:55:00.004+08:00

i just reformatted my lappy earlier today. (:

although every thing's gone (i did back up my files lah, don't be an idiot.), i still feel ultra happy cos my lappy seems to have a new life. it's like my lappy is being reborn into this world. how exciting! i can't wait to lay hands on my reborn lappy.

i think i am sick in the mind?

well, who cares. i'm a happy little girl. (:

i am going to work till i drop, all the way until sunday.

CHING CHIONG CHANG!

sunshine after rain?

2008-04-24T00:52:00.003+08:00

Now playing: Janice - Never Let You Go
via FoxyTunes

it's been years,
nope, make it decades.
well no, it should be ETERNITY since i've last blogged.

life isn't as busy for me as it really seems to be actually. truth be told, i am still busy but surely, i can squeeze out time for one pathetic entry right?
i guess, i just lost the FEEL to blog a few months ago. that explains why i haven't been blogging.

nevertheless, i'm still here to squeeze out a miserable entry for the mosquitoes and flies in here.
i think it's time to find back that DRIVE to blog again.
just like how i need the drive to go to school, to work and to move on with life.

things are pretty much the same. probably slightly different cos school reopened two weeks ago. now, i'm choked with school, work and projects. maybe i'm more choked with projects and work, i can't really be bothered with school. i still think it's crap and will always feel that it's crap. at the very least, i am beginning to learn how to embrace the fucked up system and the fact that i am still stuck in it for a year.

WHATEVERRR.

i've taken work at a slower pace because there is still a need to attend school. i still have to finish it up and get that fucking certificate. c'mon, only a year more! i can't possibly let those peeps who keeps encouraging me to come to school down. especially those nice people who have been giving me morning calls almost everyday without fail. imagine how upset they'll feel when i told them i'm coming, but eventually, i don't turn up. i would have given up a long time ago if i were them. luckily, they haven't gave up on me yet and i don't wish to see that happen one fine day.

GO TO SCHOOL!

i've made some improvements here and there, but overall I NEED MORE!

overall,

work's fine.
school's fine. (so far, i can still graduate.)
project's fine.

BUT I AM NOT FINE!

i am down with a fever, flu and a cough again. why am i so weak? why why why?

anyway, this entry isn't like an entry. it's more like an overall update for this forgotten space and to remind myself about what i need to do. maybe that explains all the bold words.

and of course, to let you all know that i am still alive.
are you all still alive? (:

(p/s: if you all want super updated photos of me and my life, please visit my friendster/face book. i am so lazy to post them in here for now. SORRAY.)

sunshine after rain?

my baby.

2008-03-15T21:28:00.007+08:00

Now playing: Paula DeAnda - Walk Away

via FoxyTunes

the first post for march after such a long time.
it's time for me to comb off the spiderwebs and to wipe off the dust in herhiddenthoughts.
hello people, i'm back but are all of you still here reading? (:

i've thought of deleting this space since i seldom come online these days but i refrain from doing so at the very last minute.
so many memories and so many thoughts that was once here. even though some are good and some are bad, but removing it once and for all would mean that they'll be gone in a flash. everything would be back to square one.
no harm keeping this space here and updating it or replying tags once in a while, isn't it?
at the very least, every memory would still be intact in here if some of them ever slip my mind.

my pay for february has came in on the 26th and the amount that i've gotten this time was way more than my first pay! since i've gotten my first pay immediately after working for a week, the amount was just a few hundred. nevertheless, this time round it was really quite a lot and this is truly satisfying. (:

i cleared off some debts, did a little shopping (it's really a little, trust me. i only got myself a ring.) and pampered myself with an ipod touch.
and speaking of that, oh my oh my, i love that sexy thang!

it's all about touch and slide, baby. ♥

i got to know about this baby's existence from terence because his mum gave it to him on his 21st birthday. once i laid my hands on this sexy thang, i decided to get one for myself after i get my second pay. true enough, this baby is in my hands now and i am enjoying every minute with it.

the sound quality is much better than my nokia N73 music edition and since my N73 is giving me problems already, this baby really help me to immerse myself in my musical world whenever, wherever. now, i can even upload my favourite dramas and movies and watch it anywhere under the sun. did i mention that i can surf the internet and watch you tube too as long as there is a wireless connection? not forgetting, the way my beautiful baby make heads turn whenever i'm out.

i am so in love with you baby! ♥

recently, i haven't been clubbing that much and i have been sleeping earlier nowadays. i am finally improving on my lateness and responsibility towards work. now, all i have to do is to perfect it and then instill it into studies when school reopens. i guess i'll have to work on that "wake up immediately and stop lazing around in bed" bad habit too. that will help add a magical touch to the lateness problem too eh?

wish me luck, huns.

and i promise to keep the updates coming in. (:

let's lay down on the green green grass,
watch the clouds go by
and feel the summer breeze together,
shall we?

won't you dance with me?

2008-02-29T23:00:00.003+08:00

Let's dance little stranger
Show me secret sins
Love can be like bondage
Seduce me once again

Burning like an angel
Who has heaven in reprieve
Burning like the voodoo man
With devils on his sleeve

Won't you dance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

Like an apparition
You don't seem real at all
Like a premonition
Of curses on my soul

The way I want to love you
Well it could be against the law
I've seen you in a thousand minds
You've made the angels fall

Won't you dance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

Come on little stranger
There's only one last dance
Soon the music's over
Let's give it one more chance

Won't you dance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

Take a chance with me
In my world of fantasy
Won't you dance with me
Ritual fertility

the last post for this twenty nine days. (:

sun is in the sky oh why oh why, would i wanna be anywhere else?

2008-02-18T23:55:00.010+08:00

Now playing: Janice - Never Let You Go
via FoxyTunes

all these late nights has finally taken it's toll on me.

i am down with the usual fever, cough and flu.

fret not, the fever and flu is almost gone but the cough bug is still pestering me. i guess it's because i am always talking non-stop to keep my colleagues and friends entertained. that should probably explain why.

this holiday, i have been working my ass off and i've been having many late night outs. i guess this are the only two things that are currently happening in my life now.

working and partying.

although i've never clubbed a lot in the past, i have to admit that recently, i've been clubbing much more than usual. i would have to say, it's not a bad thing though cos it's really an eye opener. be it meeting new people every week or observing the way people behaves in a club, it really starts to build up some protection and defenses that i've never had.

i'm slowly beginning to realize the truth about reality and how simple and naive i once was. i would have to say that this is a good exposure. although it might be risky but at the same time, i've learned how to protect myself against different types of people and certain things that can be told and certain things that are meant to be known only to me alone.

i realized that not everyone i just met can actually be trusted fully and sometimes, those people who have walked this long path with me are the ones i should truly open up to. as for those passerby in my life, i guess i should just behave like a passerby in their lives too. instead of always trying so hard to open up myself to everyone, maybe certain things are still meant to be kept. i should be sincere to those who repay me with their sincerity after i've showed mine.

maybe i'm haven't really grown fully to understand the cruelty about reality but at least, i'm learning. at least, i'm not stuck somewhere like how others are. i'm growing for sure.

and i'm glad all this came from experiences. (:

alvin has been calling me from the states for an hour long chat every now and then. it's really nice catching up with him and i really appreciate the morning calls from the states! since we've been on the phone for hours, he was kinda afraid that i can't wake up in the morning. thus, the morning calls. it's really amazing how he can give me morning calls when he's sixteen hours behind us. (:

it's been like years since we've last met and he's really one of the rare treasures i've known in irc. how long has it been? five years? well, that sure is a big feat, considering that we're eight years apart and how hot he is now.

if you're reading this, i just want to thank you for the long distance calls and the morning calls from the states. it's really nice knowing you and remember to show me your coloured tattoos on web cam when they're ready! not forgetting the steam boat and scuba diving trip when you get back from the states. ♥

anyway, work has been fine except for some minor grudges i have about someone at times. despite this, i seriously cannot be bothered because there are much more that i'm looking forward to at work. the environment, the people and the work are things over rides everything. i'm growing more emotionally attached to this place and it's still the best job i've had so far. (:

and ronn kay, thank you so much for everything. i have so much to say but i don't know how to express it to you through speech. thank you for the morning calls and for always being there to hear me rant and complain. you might not know, but all the comforts and encouragement that you've given really did help me to pull through those horrible moments at work. thanks for listening and for keeping me company whenever i needed someone. even though i'm two years older, i've never seen you as a younger brother cos you're really much more mature than me in many ways. you're another treasure that i've found at work. thank you so much. ♥

you better remember what you promised me the other time outside our usual slacking spot! (:

sometimes in life,
you just need to find the special ones that connects with you. ♥

home is where the heart is.

2008-02-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

i can feel the chinese new year's festive season in the air. (:

i've always loved chinese new year because it's the time of the year for gatherings, gambling, food and money!

those lovely red packets. (:

i've had an early reunion dinner sometime ago, so tonight's dinner is a simple one. it's not a bad thing though cos it's the company around me that matters. how i wish we could eat forever like this.

not forgetting the cute baby that was there at the reunion dinner that night.

before tonight's reunion dinner, i went down to the airport to meet a friend from brunei with adrian. yes, it's none other than my dear kimmy kim kim. (:

she's waiting for her transit to sydney in singapore and the both of us went down to meet her cos she's traveling alone and she'll be all alone on chinese new year eve!

i mean if i was in her shoes, i think i might probably cry on that day. it feels really lonely to be alone in the big empty airport all by yourself. everyone is at home or outside with their families, busy preparing for their reunion dinner and without anyone to keep me company, i think i will probably just die of over crying.

we had aijsen ramen and i think i was the only one who was hungry enough to finish up a proper meal. the both of them only had some ala-carte and adrian took FOREVER to finish up a piece of pathetic fish that taste exactly like the fish that my mum always cooks. i can't believe he paid 4 bucks for that.

sicko.

i bought some chocolates for mummy and daddy from candy empire. i bought some for myself too. although i know my mum will just complain that i'm wasting money, but i know she'll be damn happy deep down. anyway, if i don't get her anything, she'll say i always don't get things for her when i get my pay too. so might as well right?

kim, i think you're a really strong girl and it was really nice meeting up with you. hope to see you sometime soon and please take care of yourself in sydney. study hard and make sure you graduate with flying colours! love love.

as for yin, make sure you come and visit adrian and me the next time round. don't be so bias towards adrian just because he's a guy. you should love your shifu (which is me) more. but then, i still love you no matter what. we really hope to see you someday. you're a really nice girl darling.

(:

anyway, i got two tops from jingting's blogshop for chinese new year. not to mention the other two zara tops that cynthia helped me to pick when i went shopping with her the other day. (:

i'm going to shuo shui for my parents tonight while i munch on some of my dark chocolate maltesers and watch ISWAK 2 on youtube. hope dad and mum will be bless with longevity and good health! (:

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!

♥

happy holidays.

2008-02-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

Now playing: John Legend - P.D.A. (We Just Don't Care)
via FoxyTunes

Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss u underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't care

U know I love it when u loving me
Sometimes it's better when it's publicly
I'm not ashamed I don't care who sees
Just hugging & kissing our love exhibition all

We rendezvous out on the fire escape
I like to set up an alarm today
The love emergency don't make me wait
Just follow I'll lead u
I urgently need you

Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss u underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't

Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us
Let's get lost in lies
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't care

I see u closing down the restaurant
Let's sneak and do it when your boss is gone
Everybody's leaving we'll have some fun
Or maybe it's wrong but u turn me on
Ooh, we'll take a visit to your Mama's house
Creep to the bedroom while your Mama's out
Maybe she will hear it when we scream and shout
And we will keep it rocking until she comes knocking

Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss u underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't

Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us.
Let's get lost in lies
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't care

If we keep up on this fooling around
We'll be the talk of the town
I'll tell the world I'm in love any time
Let's open up the blinds cause we really don't mind

Ooh I don't care about the priority
Let's break the rules and ignore society
Maybe our neighbor like to spy too
So what if they watch when we do what we do

Oh, let's go to the park
I wanna kiss u underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't

Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us ...

i've been hearing this song over and over at work that i'm falling in love with it bit by bit.

it's just so sexy, so irresistible, so lustful and it makes me feel like prancing and dancing around the room.

it reminds me of someone and the lyrics totally fits the bill. however, i'm glad we're just friends for now and nothing more. some things takes time to develop and if it happens, it just will. i don't even think about it and i feel so free every time. i'm glad i have grown and matured so much that i don't fall in love that easily anymore. (:

work's been fine so far except for the fact that i am still always late. i doubt there was even a time that i arrived on time? yikes. i guess it's time to start picking up the bits and pieces and to start making an effort to go to work on time and to stop taking that much MCs. furthermore, i know some people might be unhappy with me being late almost everyday. i've been spending too much money on cabbing to and fro ever since i've started work and due to the lenient system that they always have in gap, they've decided to set up a fine system because of the growing amount of late comers. you'll be fine a dollar for every 10 mins you arrive late for work. it's my bad though, so who can i blame?

on a brighter note, i've been interacting more with my colleagues and i'm getting closer to a few of them. i enjoy working there and seriously, it's my best job so far, although it can really get boring at times. nevertheless, i don't wish to lose this job for now. well at least it's FOR NOW.

i'll have to be on time the next time round.

along with the reflections and the planning i've had in mind during toilet breaks and stoning during work, it should more or less help me kick this bad habit. it will help me to prepare for the new semester when school reopens in two and a half month's time too.

oh, how exciting.

i wish i could talk more but i'm really tired and i'm falling sick soon.

happy holidays people, if there's still anyone here reading.

munch munch.

2008-01-25T02:18:00.000+08:00

Now playing: Five for Fighting - Superman
via FoxyTunes

i am not hungry but i am yearning for some food to munch on.

i guess it must be the late night suppers that i've been having after work. my tummy wants some junk food badly. chips, fries or even hokkien mee will do. i know it's unhealthy but what to do?

even subway will do! i seriously love subway man. it's healthy and yummy and i don't mind gorging subway for a week everyday. that's how much i love subway. aww i can totally taste the sweet onion and honey mustard sauce that's on my subway melt now.

i was chatting with nicky in msn a little while ago and had this sudden urge to eat subway. then this thought came across my mind ...

why can't they offer 24 hours service like Macdonald's?

i'm going to have subway tomorrow but there's no subway in my school! neither are there any subways in woodlands!

SUBWAY ... ):

oh forget it, i'll just go and dream of subway.

to be thankful.

2008-01-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

hello lovelies. ♥

what do you all think about the new skin and the song that comes along with it? it's the current favourite song on my play list and i just totally dig the song! as for the skin, i'm currently into something more 'lynnda-ish' recently. i like vintage wallpapers and anything that's simple and bright. totally like what lynnda will like eh? but it's nice isn't it? (:

two zero zero eight hasn't been what i've expected so far. i've wanted this year to be much more fruitful and colourful than the previous years. i wanted life to be more fulfilling this year and i hope more achievements can be made so that the sense of satisfaction that i've always yearn for will simply come along with it. i'll feel much more happier this way ... much more complete than how i've felt for the past two years.

sadly, i didn't know that i couldn't handle both work and school at the same time when i thought i initially could. it was seriously tough cos i was working 5 days per week. i'm always rushing off to work after tests and school and then, rushing home to finish up my assignments and projects. gradually, this lifestyle finally took a toll on me and i grew lazier and lazier. because of this, i neglected my studies and i've stopped attending school for almost 3 weeks. ):

yes i know. this is totally an unfruitful lifestyle like what i've wanted in the first place. although i am totally immersed in work and earning more cash, studies are still the most important to me and it is still my responsibility to complete my education cos i am still a student. studies should be my main priority and work should come after that.

YES I KNOW!

but before you start defaming me and thinking that i am a useless and lazy arsehole, why don't you start thinking from my point of view?

looking back at the current education system i am actually in, i finally understood what cynthia meant when she told me that she is sick of this education system.

LEARNING WITH A DIFFERENCE.

(that's the damn motto of republic polytechnic.)

probably you all aren't in it and that's why you can't really see things from my point of view. sometimes i wish i'm not learning with a difference and i'm actually learning in a conventional education system. there'll be lectures and tutorials to make sure that i learn something and bring home something at the end of the day. how i wish there's exams to gauge my understanding and level of learning. i totally wouldn't mind having tons of tests, projects and assignments to make me feel the mad rush and stress of school life.

sadly, there's nothing like this in my lovely school. we only have daily gradings, daily assignments and a truckload of tests every semester. i'm seriously NOT learning anything from such an education system and i am sick of plastering smiles during presentations and trying to smoke my way through to get an A when i know nothing in the first place. i detest the fact that we need to be constantly putting up a good performance during class and as long as you know how to do that, you'll get a good grade for the day. you don't even need to put in any effort (other than getting your butt out of bed and going to school, of course.) and the good grades are all yours!

where's the FUCKING challenge i ask you?

and seriously, i'm not the only one in school who feels like this and i miss text books ... just like how shu rin misses them too. ):

on a brighter note, i've passed my maths! even though it's a C6 but i really satisfied cos i know my standards since young when it comes to maths. i was thinking that i was going to flunk it again this time and was praying and weeping in my covers to god and was hoping that he'll bless me with a pass. thank god ... i made it this time round. (:

a big THANK YOU to everyone who've helped me throughout the years in my maths! be it through actions or through speech, as long as you've encouraged me and pushed me on and played a part in helping me to make turn it into a pass ... THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU. ♥

now, it's time to start picking up the bits and pieces and to start moving forward again.

i'm going to school tomorrow. (:

always getting over you.

2008-01-23T03:44:00.000+08:00

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was I not enough stimulation
Hit by a brake the other day
Just when I thought that I'm okay
You didn't like my conversation
I can't come up with something new
It doesn't really matter what I do
So here's my observation
You could never see it through my eyes
And I'm too tired to try

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was it too much aggravation
Your telling me the way that I won't see
And then I change my mind you disagree
I used to be our inspiration
You chase your mind you disappear
And I know it's never over

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do
Do do do do do

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was I not enough stimulation
Hit by a brake the other day
Just when I thought that I'm okay
You didn't like my conversation
And I can't come up with something new
It doesn't really matter what I do

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

So don't call and say your coming back for me
I'm always getting over you

goodbye 07, hello 08.

2008-01-16T02:15:00.000+08:00

since this is the first post for the year 2008, i shall hereby wish everyone a ...

GAPPY NEW YEAR!
(although it came a little late, but it's better to be late than never what!)

and why is it a gappy new year?
that's because i've started work at gap for more than 2 weeks and i started work on the last day of 2007. kinda cool eh?

i'm being posted to the suntec city outlet and i'm working in baby gap and kids gap. the pay is pretty good and the working environment is kinda fun too. so far, i'm enjoying myself there and i really hope this job will last for as long as i want it to. since i intend to work and study at the same time, i really hope this job will last. i'm getting to know more people in the GAP family and i hope to talk more to those that i haven't got a chance to speak much to. in simple, i hope working there will be fun and i can be closer to my colleagues! another thing i love about GAP is the music they play there. all my favorites! :D
anyway, daniel's working at gap too but he's in the ladies department (ha! sissy!) and i think i'll need to thank him because he's the one who brought me into GAP. thank you to you, if you ever read this. (:
oh and to you people out there, if you wanna stalk me, you'll know where to find me this time round. (:

so far, there have been people who've visited me during work and they are nicholas, eileen, fiona, claire and her boyfriend. other than that, i think i've bumped into nigel young when i'm working? he really did slim down a lot! he slim down so much that i can't even recognize him anymore! i had to stand there and ponder for like 15 minutes before i can actually confirm it's him. i'm not exaggerating! it's for real!
anyway, it was really nice of them to drop by so ... thank you babes and hunks. (:

there's so many interesting experiences at work and i wish i can share it with you all here. but now that life's picking up and i have to juggle with studies, work and life, i really think it's harder and harder for me to find time to sit in front of the computer and to record my life down. it's so hard that i think i've been neglecting my studies because of work and i need to manage all of them. i can't risk messing up any of them anymore.
nevertheless, i will still try to update this space as much as i could! it's still a beloved diary that has all my memories of pain and joy.
if you all still care, then come back once in a while to share my thoughts and thank you for still being here ... reading. (:

it's really great to have this feeling of making your life packed and that you're always doing something. at the very least, i don't think that i'm wasting time that much anymore. it gives me a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment when i'm busy. (:

also, it seems like guys are always popping into your life when you get really busy and when you totally have no time for them or to consider a relationship at this moment.
and the worse thing is .. it's not just a few but a handful.
i know it's going to be weird saying this but this is the first time i'm not feeling any loneliness or emptiness within me.
this is really the life that i am enjoying right now.

and i totally love this feeling. ♥

our annual sentosa trip. (:

2007-12-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

it's been a week since i've last blogged. sorry but i just couldn't help it when the lazy bug comes kicking in. ):

i'll try to post more even though i think my life is gonna get really busy soon. with my pp presentation around the corner, FYPs piling in, school re opening and my new job, i think my life will be pack! so pack that i won't even have time thinking about pretty boys anymore! no time for me to feel kong xu anymore! ha!

it's good for me anyway. i love to keep myself busy cos it makes me feel that i'm making full use of my time and that i'm not wasting my life away. since 2008 is just around the corner, i have to make it better right? much better than the past years that might have probably been wasted away without myself knowing!

i think my life after 2005 has been wasted in some ways and in other ways, it hasn't been really wasted too? i think i have grown up since 2005 and have matured greatly both mentally, emotionally and physically. i think i've gain many different perspectives and there's a vast change in my character since the past. at the same time, when it comes to my life, i think it hasn't been very fruitful and nothing much came out of it within this few years cos i think i didn't make full use of it. in general, life after 2005 hasn't been fully liven up yet. because of this ...

I WANT TO MAKE MY LIFE MUCH MORE FRUITFUL IN 2008!

i guess that's my new year resolution. (:

anyway, here's the sentosa update with the girls!

the sentosa trip is an annual event for the four of us and instead of the usual gang this year, lynnda and fiona joined us too! (:

we spent the year at our all time favourite, SILOSO BEACH RESORT! (in case you all don't know, this is the same spot that we spent our annual stay over at sentosa every year.)

i think this resort is really pretty and relaxing! be it the pool or the rooms, everything feels just right! even the tropical setting makes one feel at ease. like you're lost in some kind of wild tropics amidst the hectic urban city. much much better than rasa sentosa hotel, i have to say! (:

after checking in and settling down, the four of us took a dip in the pool and lynnda joined us after her work. then, claire took a shower and the rest of us accompanied lynnda to the pool again and even though it's for a short while, i think she really enjoyed herself!

then, all of us went back to the room to take our baths and our dearest lynnda spent an hour in the showers! do you all know the reason why?

COS THERE'S A BATHTUB IN THE HOTEL ROOM! (i have to admit that the bathtub really makes one feel like showering forever! darn relaxing inside!)

we missed our dinner because of this and lynnda felt guilty that we had to settle our dinner at 7-11! lynnda lynnda! all because of you lor! (i'm trying to make her feel guilty! muahahahaha.)

HERE'S THE PROOF!

then we walked around sentosa and cam whored a little before returning back to the hotel.

we drank and had heart to heart talks by the pool side till the wee hours of the morning. the setting, the candles, the ambiance and the company ... what more can you ask for in life? (:

cheers to our years of friendship!

and when the rest are sleeping, the remaining few of us cam whore the hours away! later i stopped cam whoring with them cos i realized that channel 8 is actually re broadcasting bu lao chuan shuo! high la high! that's my favourite drama when i was young! (:

then, we went to bed and we checked out the next day! claire had to leave first because she got to work early in the morning.

till we meet again, siloso beach resort. (:

did i forgot to mention that i'm working now? can you believe it? i'm finally working! anyway, i'll be working at suntec city's GAP so do drop by when you're free! i'll be in the kids department. to hell with candy empire! GAP here i come! (:

i'll blog more about xmas after this entry. remember to check back really soon. ♥

亲爱的, 那不是爱情.

2007-12-23T02:28:00.000+08:00

教室里那台风琴叮咚叮咚叮咛

像你告白的声音动作一直很轻
微笑看你送完信转身离开的背影
喜欢你字迹清秀的关心

那温热的牛奶瓶在我手中握紧
有你在的地方我总感觉很窝心
日子像旋转木马在脑海里转不停
出现那些你对我好的场景

你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经

太美的承诺因为太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明

this song that is playing in my blog totally describe what i feel deep down.

everything that happened last night feels like a dream and now, i feel like i've just woke up from that dream. everything was like a dream and it seems like nothing has really happened. i'm back to square one but this time the difference is i have the hope and i long for that feeling again deep down in me. i have this little hope that something would happen and my dream can become reality, but it was like just like a dream that happened in reality.

i shouldn't be putting too much thought into this cos' i would never want history to repeat itself. it might never even happen and what i'm hoping for might not be a good thing. it might just be a moment of folly. it might be a sudden gush of passion ... and things might just end in a split second. i'm not ready to be hurt again and i just want to protect myself. it was right to be defensive. isn't it?

but what if my feelings are leading me the wrong way?

the closeness, the touch and the way my heart pumps in that split second ... was it really a dream?

但亲爱的那并不是爱情 ♥

christmas shopping!

2007-12-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

i just got back from the sentosa trip with the girls today and everything spells fun! there were only laughters and jokes and seriously, i think all of us had times when we laughed till our tummies hurt and we can practically drop dead right there. i love the heart to heart talks we had and i hope they'll be more trips like this cos i really enjoyed myself. i hope the girls enjoyed this trip as much as i did. [:

updates will come in as soon as i get my hands on the pictures. meanwhile, look at this video below! it's the theme song for romantic princess and the mtv is so cute. the song is by S.H.E and fei lun hai. the song is alright but i think the video is really cute. i'm going to finish up romantic princess and start watching ISWAK 2 asap!

i'll be working tomorrow with cynthia and nicholas at this secondary school in ang mo kio. we'll have to just watch over the book store and sell some magazines and we'll get a basic pay and commission for every book we sell. not bad eh? nicholas was the one who intro the job to us and it's like a one day thing. thanks ni-co-las for the job offer!

i seriously need some cash now cos i haven't get the girls' gift yet! i'll need to do some xmas shopping this coming weekend!

chirstmas, christmas time is near, time for toys and time for cheers.

if only cash falls down from the sky.

2007-12-18T17:01:00.000+08:00

i spent the whole of last night, staying up until 4 in the morning to do up my CV because i need to find a job! since i'm finding jobs through the internet, i'll need to do up a CV so that i can actually foward it to them. it's seriously troublesome but since i'll need to do up a CV sooner or later in my life, i think i might as well do it now right?

anyway, i applied for this long term part timer's post at candy empire and i've been shortlisted! i'm going down to millenia walk for an interview this coming saturday. wish me luck! (:

meanwhile, i'll take a look at other job vacancies while i'm online. i seriously need a job to clear up my debts and to spend some money to pamper myself. i've always been envious of my friends who can spend every now and then on whatever they want. they can go shopping and see this particular item that they like and they can just pay for it right there. i guess that's because they work and they can afford to do that. if not, it's simply because they are filthy rich.

to tell you the truth, i've never been much of a spender because i don't have much money to spend. i've never really worked for a long period of time. i only take vacation jobs and work every now and then when i'm having my holidays. because of this, i only collect allowances from my parents and sister and i don't really have a stable income.

as i grow older, i finally understand what wei lun used to tell me. he said that as you grow older, you will find it embarrassing to take allowances from your parents when you can actually provide for yourself. i guess that's what i'm feeling now and i seriously wanna treat my family members to dinner, buying some things for them and giving them some cash every now and then. my parents are getting older and i don't want them to work so hard to provide for me anymore. i really want to repay whatever they've done for me since i was young all the way until now.

i'm already nineteen. (:

anyway, thanks to my hui hua darling, i get to see kim jeong hoon's charming persona on star awards once more!

click here to see the video. if you don't, then you seriously don't know what you're missing.

if you happen to look like kim jeong hoon (such as having his eyes, nose, mouth, ears or hair) and if you happen to be single, please forward me your CV! i'll take a look at it immediately and who knows?

you might be shortlisted! :DDD

if only cash falls down from the sky.

alvin and the chipmunks.

2007-12-17T16:57:00.000+08:00

have you all watched alvin and the chipmunks before?

i can still remember this cartoon that i watched during my child hood days. it was seriously a sweet and cute show and i've grown together with it throughout the years. of course, there are many other cartoons that i've watched (i was a cartoon fanatic when i was still a little girl), but this was one of the few that rakes up many fond memories that i had.

my all time favourite character was theodore, because he makes me go AWW whenever he speaks or whenever he does some silly actions. i love how he looks in the cartoon with all those baby fats and i love him for how short he is. he has always been an innocent and fat baby chipmunk! (:

this christmas, they are finally back in live motion on the big screen ...

... looking much cooler and hip hoppish.

fret not! they are still as cute as ever in the movie, especially theodore! he makes me go aww throughout the movie and with his stupid actions and with the way he speaks. i feel like bringing him home and tucking him under my covers so that i can sleep with him in my bed every night!

because of the publicity of this movie, i decided to catch it in the cinemas but i didn't know that it was the original cartoon series at first. i thought it was some random movie with some random chipmunks. they have changed so much that i couldn't even recognize them from the original cartoon series! it was only after the show, then did i know that it was actually the original alvin and the chipmunks. :\

what i really love about the show is the new hip hoppish songs that they have included in the movie. there's seriously a vast difference from the original songs that i've heard in the cartoon. of course, i still remember the original christmas song that was in the cartoon. the best thing is that they have it in the movie too! :D

this is one of my favourite songs in the movie too! i hope that play it in the clubs someday! i will be super super high! witch doctor! :D

i love the original witch doctor song from the cartoon itself too!

nevertheless, it's a show that's really worth the watch. it might not be one of the best, but at the very least, it brought back some fond memories that i had when i was younger. it might work for you too, so why not give it a try? (: