Just a quick post before I fly off to Hong Kong in another few hours time.

For those who aren't sure about what's happening, my sister won free tickets to Hong Kong in her company's lucky draw and I'm going to fly over there in a few hours! Kinda excited by the thought now 'cos I've been there before and I know how great Hong Kong is. I'm looking forward to the trip since it's the sales period over there right now and I wanna shop till I drop! Their stuffs are already really cheap during non-sales period and now with the sales period going on, it's going to be dirt cheap for sure! I haven't plan out my shopping list though, shall plan it on board the plane!

As excited as the thought can get, I'm think I'm really going to miss you when I'm gone. Thanks for squeezing out so much time for me today and for travelling to and fro just to spend some more time with me. I'm really happy to have you by my side and just being around you really makes me happy. Thanks for compromising and for changing so much recently, you know what I mean. Please take care of yourself and you better be a good boy and don't misbehave when I'm gone.

I love you and I'll miss you baby. <3



Off to nap now, back on Sunday!

Labels: feelings, nicol, shopping, thoughts, travel

Flooding my emotions onto you was just a way of expression but since you choose to not acknowledge how I feel, sometimes I have to resort to other means to get your attention. In turn, you use painful words to hurt me and make my tears fall. The more you do it, the more I wanna inflict pain on you to let you have a taste of what I go through.

I know this might sound mean but sometimes seeing how you squirm like a pathetic worm, makes me feel happy from inside out. Hearing how desperate you sound leaves a tiny part of me wanting for more. At least it makes me feel better.

Getting back at you might be deemed as a selfish act, but haven't you been doing the same all this while?

You're selfish as ever, just like me. We just love ourselves too much that's why we always wants things to be done our way and that's why we always fail to love others. 

You're in no way better than me 'cos you care about yourself more than me and until I see a change, I don't understand why I have to place you as a priority in my life anymore.

I'm sorry, but revenge is sweet.

Labels: assholes, feelings, fustrations, random, thoughts

First and foremost, happy birthday Brenda darling. :)

Today was supposed to be a really busy day for me.

I'm supposed to wake up at 7 am for an interview for Cotton On at Toa Payoh's Library before heading back to school for lessons. After that, I'm supposed to meet up with the girls for some shopping but nothing pull through.

I'm down with a cold and a cough. Not a very positive thing when there's H1N1 lurking around the school nowadays. If it worsens, I'll have to see the doctor tomorrow, get a MC and apply for Leave of Absence from the school as soon as possible. I'm trying my best not to skip anymore classes so I'm not really keen in getting LOA from the school. Furthermore, I just wanna get this over and done with as soon as possible. But because of this damn cough and flu, I stayed awake throughout the night and only manage to sleep at 7 am in the morning. Thus, I had to skip the interview, school and even the meet up with the girls later. :(

I really hope I'll feel better and I can get back to classes tomorrow.

Nowadays, I've been feeling very much alone. Dealing with my emotions by myself even though I have someone by my side. Insecurities, disappointments and fears - they all happen because I love someone. I don't have much control over my emotions, I know that. Sometimes, for fear that I might flood someone because I love that person too much, I just want to shut my emotions and the love I feel to myself. Yet, even when I do voice out the issues, they never seem to be addressed. I thought they should be addressed because isn't it a package that comes together with love? And together with that, it comes with care and concern? Doesn't love make you miss someone and you'll feel like seeing that person everyday and you'll just want to be by their side? How come I don't feel that coming anymore?

Now that I'm sick, I don't see much concern coming anymore. I only see and hear words but never actions that are taken. It hurt so much last night that I just wanna cut off all ties and stop whatever that is happening right now.

I just want to be free from all this heart wrenching emotions and from you, 'cos you're the cause of it. 

Labels: besties, birthdays, feelings, fustrations, jobs, random, school, shopping, sick, thoughts

I know I've been away for months and have taken a really long hiatus, but I really feel the need to speak to someone now.

So just let me speak to you, you know how you always make me feel better.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you think it's going to kill you? So much that you think the pain is insane 'cos it hurts so much and you think you can't breathe? You cried so much that it makes you feel like your head is going to explode any minute. That your heart is feeling sour and it's being weighed down by gravity and you cannot even do anything at that moment.

I do.

As much as it hurts, take a deep breath and let it all out. Be it the tears in your eyes, the throbbing pain in your heart or the sighs that you exhale whenever your heart feel heavy, just let it all out. You'll feel better. You'll still see the light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, you will still move on with or without that person. Life always moves on and so must you. Don't stop here.

I'm sorry for coming to you at times like this. For now I know, you will always be here for me. And I know how you always make me feel better after talking to you.

It's really sad when I have to type all this in here to remind me on what I should do to divert all the pain, sadness and unhappiness that I am feeling tonight. But at the very least, it guides me onto the right track and it stops the falling tears and the pain that I feel at the end of the entry.

Thank you, herhiddenthoughts.

Labels: feelings, fustrations, random, thoughts